februarybaby
utopia reviews. busy and featuring nod from epic.
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februarybaby
reviewer: hyukjaeplease+sujuhwaiting05
bold: sujuhwaiting04
normal: hyukjaeplease
title: looking for whether it's cliched or reveals too much
It doesn't reveal much, but it's seems very plain. If I found this in the KaisTal tags I wouldn't want to click the link. 4/5 foreword/description: hooking? The sentence in the description is so vague and boring, to put it bluntly. Just from looking at the foreword and I'm already wishing I didn't have to review this. 3/10 graphics: does it help enhance the story or not? Using the same graphics as the main poster and the story background isn't always a good idea. The background distracts me from the actual story. 2/5 characters: do they fit the story? you wouldn't put someone frolicking around during a funeral. are they developed and characterized? We both gave up trying to review it. 18/20 appearance: of the story and its paragraphs. Leave a space after every sentence. This.Looks.Very.Messy.And.Unorganized. You also forget to capitalize a lot of words. 5/10 grammar: can i even understand you?
Careless errors (e.x in some cases missing the s behind words that should've been plural). Commas or semicolons can be used to break up run-ons. There should be a space after the usage of a period (my English teacher says 2 spaces, but meh, I never understood that.) .. Okay, you're missing spaces after all punctuation marks in general. Avoid starting sentences with "And". "A(<- capitalize first letter after a quotation mark) adjdadak,(<- end with either a comma, period, exclamation, or question mark)" (<- leave space after the quotation mark) I (<- capitalize first letter after the end of a quotation only if it is "I" or a proper noun, or if the sentence ended with a period, exclamation, or question mark.) 13.5/20
spelling: Cemetery, not cemetary (chapter 1)
Cappuccino, not cappucino (chapter 2)
Breakfast, not breakafst (chapter 3)
Somehow, not somhow (chapter 3)
aaaaaand I gave up trying to find more after the first paragraph of chapter 3.
I would also like to mention the difference between 'everyday' and 'every day', since you tend to mix these up.
Everyday is an adjective that means ordinary, something that is normal. Example: "I dress my sister in an everyday outfit when we're at home."
Every day literally translates to 'each day'. Example: "I cry over Hyukjae every day." 8/10 flow: Your sentences are too short, and it irritates me a lot.
I read the note and sighed.Jongin snatched the note and chuckled.I raised an eyebrow. (chapter 2)
I sighed a little after reading the note, encouraging Jongin to pluck it out of my hands to read it himself. He chuckled, causing me to raise my eyebrows.
That is only one example, and there are more, but I'm just too lazy to change it. 4/10
plot/extras: Confusing story. It's very choppy and bumpy; I had to reread certain parts to understand it clearly. 7/10 total: 64.5/100=64.5% |
review5 |
additional notes from sapphirequeen;
hey everyone! we're sorry your reviews are taking a while. i have to manage my graphic shop and hyukjaeplease and i have a huge amount of homework from our advocating for change quarter, which accounts for 99% of our grades. so thanks to y'all for being so patient with us :))
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