“*Burps* Now that was some hearty meal I had.” I —as ungirly as that sounds— burped.

“So? Any new plans on the suicide mission?” Key asked bored as he played with a string of the noodles on his plate —which I would have gladly eaten if I wasn’t full till my throat— while supporting his chin with his left arm placed on the table.

“How about poison? You can eat poison.”

“That’s a good idea too.” Key beamed.

“I knew it. Hence I brought this rat poison with me on the way to the pizzeria.” Jjong produced an amber colored bottle from his pocket. “I prefer you eating it with something delicious since it might taste bad. How about another round of pizza or something? Or we could go back to the burger stall and get you another burger.” He suggested with that creepy grin. Jjong, why are you behaving like my death angel today?

I have to divert the poison topic somehow…

“I’m too full. And you know that when I say that, I mean that.” I retorted.

“Hmm… What about ice cream then?” Key asked enthusiastically.

“Naa~ the ice cream taste will go bad.” I said. “And what if I happen to leave the remaining food or ice cream and someone else consumes it? It’ll harm another innocent life. Hence, poison cancelled too.”

“I knew that’d happen. Hence I thought of another plan.” Jjong smirked.

“What?” Key and I chorused.

“Hanging to death by this rope and weak fan?” the tone of shock was now evident in my question. All the dino did was to nod happily.

“And what if she survives but the fan doesn’t?” the diva scoffed while I nodded. Wait. Did he just insult me for my weight? “If she tries to hang herself to that poor fan, I sure see three lives dying. The first one to be the poor fan, the second being the roof and the third one in misery would be none other than Uncle Lee.” He added nonchalantly with arms crossed across his chest.

“I get about the fan and the roof, but Uncle Lee? Jjong asked while scratching his head.

“The repair and the cost will be beyond his reach. Imagine buying all that food and chocolates and deserts for his daughter and then also repairing his ceiling because his daughter decided to play ‘Mission Suicide’.” Key completed with an eyebrow wriggling. All the dino and I did were nod with an O-ed face. Wait. Why am I nodding? He insulted me again!

But…plan number 3 cancelled too…”Yes! I mean OH no~. We have to cancel this one too. Now?”

“How about, cutting your wrist and bleeding you to death?” the dino asked.

Why is this dino getting all the deadly ideas now?!

“J..Jjong, where are you getting all these wonderful ideas from?” I said out loud.

“You see, Yeobo and I did a lot of research on ways to suicide during the I.T. class today. You know, it really comes in handy. I came across the best ideas while Yeobo found a few here and there.” He replied back excitedly and Key nodded happily —like a retard, if I may add— along with him. How good are my so-called best friends!

“So, bleeding to death it is?” I deadpanned.

“Drop the blood! I have a phobia.” Screamed Key in such a shrill voice of a girl that I doubt he didn’t really disguise as a boy all this while.

“You’re not the one suiciding, Key.” Jjong stated the obvious.

“But I’m going to witness it! It’s equally scary when we bring in blood!”

“How about fire?”

“Now I have a phobia of it.” I interjected.

“But why does it matter when you are going to die anyways?” Key questioned.

Doesn’t he know? “It’ll hurt, you idiots!” I scowled.

“Hmm… got a point there.” Both chorused.

“Let’s do a check list, shall we?” Key said while removing a paper pad and a pen from his bag. “Jumping off the bridge = failed.

Eating poison = failed.

Hanging by the fan = failed.

Cutting wrist and bleeding to death = Super failed!

Burning to death using fire = failed again.

Five failed attempts there. Any new suggestions?” Key said while fixing his pink classy spectacles with his left hand’s index finger as he kept clicking the pen’s lid on and off with the other hand’s thumb. He’s quite a fashionista by the way.

“Hani-ah! How about drowning? And since you don’t know swimming, it’ll be fine too.” Key beamed.

“Pools, I think not because people won’t really let me commit suicide in daylight since I don’t have a swimming pool at my place.”

”And we can’t let you commit suicide in our pools because we will be facing the consequences and questionings and all those head aching interrogations by the officials later. And who knows, you might come and haunt our pools and then empty our fridges as a way to down your grudge of helping you out committing suicide on us?” I’d rather eat up your souls for pushing me into this situation…but emptying their fridges and filling my stomach is quite tempting too..”And not to forget, the pool’s water is never enough for that figure. There you go in the pool and here the water splashes out of it.” Jjong rolled his eyes. Buddy, eating up your soul is a very tempting idea more than emptying out your fridge right now.

“What about the beach or sea?” Key, stop with the ideas!

“I think it’s a good idea.”

“While I think it’s bad! It’s dirty and what if my body is eaten up alive by the sea creatures! And the worst! What if my body is eaten up by the sea creatures after it’s decayed and the others eat a few of those sea creatures? Diseases and deaths! No, no. I’m not doing it.”

“Last option now. How about suffocating her to death by some cushion and all?”

“No, Jjong. That would be murder and not suicide.” Key said as he blew off his bangs to his right side of his forehead.

“I second that.” I immediately said. “So, all the plans failed?” I pretended to be sad. Please say yes, please say yes.

“Yes.” They chorused again. Were they long lost brothers or what?

But… “Yes! I mean Oh no~”

Jjong and Key gave each other some suspicious look and suddenly started snickering. Why are they laughing?

“Hani-ah. We knew you were never serious about all the suicide crap.” Jjong smirked.

“You did?” I asked confused; pausing my mini imaginary celebration of bubbles and candies and chocolate cakes.

“Oh yes, we did.” It was Key smirking now.

“Then all those dreadful suicidal plans?”

“They were all to tease you.” Again with the chorus.

“The poison?”

“You mean candy balls?” Jjong took out that amber colored bottle, opened the cap and popped a piece of something white in his mouth.

“The fan and the plan?”

“To tease you, again.” Key took out a lollipop and popped it in his mouth.

“You both~” saying this, I started running behind them; I’d like to say I tried at least. My best friends really do know me very well after all.

“Give me a lollipop too~ I’m hungry~”

“Catch me if you can ‘coz I’m faster and slim~” That diva! I seriously wonder how in the world did I manage to make these two handsome dorks my best friends. Maybe this is what we call life. It’s never fair but not always unfair either. A 200 pound ugly duckling having two gorgeous yet down-to-earth best friends is more than I could ever ask for. Thank you God for blessing me with these two. Though they tire me out both physically and mentally, I still regret nothing about them.

And Joon….

I no longer crush over you.

There! An update for you. This update is specially for my new subber Anehyuk who kept commenting and letting me know about my previous chapter and also asked me to update a little quicker than what I had planned. So, a special dedication to you girl~ And I'm SO THANKFUL to all my LOVELY readers and subbers who gave this fic a shot and commented as well. 

SaniKyu and Janis_ELF u girls ROCK! Love you guys. So, DO comment on this update and lemme know how you find the story so far. 

Till the next update, this is Ashmy signing out. Bbye~

Anneyong and Jalja~~ <3