Suzy was sitting on the grass. She was talking very animatedly to someone. Her eyes sparkled whenever she laughed, and if one would a take a closer look at Suzy, her face was glowing with love.

“Happy anniversary!” Suzy shouted joyfully.

“The weather is so good today. Perfect for this moment. You know, we’ve also met at a day like this. You also remember it, right?” Suzy continued talking. “That day was a perfect day for a walk so I decided to eat lunch outside. After eating, I walked a bit until I saw a grassy little hill beside the road. On the top of that hill, there was a single tree planted. Of course I know about it! I have lived here for so many years, but just passed it by and never stopped to look at it until that day. I didn’t know what got into my head but I suddenly got the urge to go up there. Once on top, I could feel the cool air brushing my cheeks. It made me very sleepy so I sat down on the grass and put my head on the tree trunk. I fell asleep that instant without any concern at my surroundings.

"When I woke up, the first thing I saw was your ears. Maybe that’s why I always had that fascination to your ears?” Suzy laughed. “But at that time I was surprised to know that someone was sitting there beside me, so I got up to leave but you stopped me, saying that there was nothing to be afraid of. You said that you saw someone on the hill while you were walking and thought something was wrong, so you went up to see if you could help but instead you saw me soundly sleeping, probably sleep talking right? Since you never stopped teasing me about it after that day. Anyway, after you saw me, you decided to accompany me… the word you use was guard right? Yes, you decided to guard me while I was asleep. After hearing your explanation, I became at ease so I went back to sit under the tree. You introduced yourself, saying that your name was Kim Myungsoo. I shook your hand and told you my name. The afternoon passed and we decided to meet there again the next week.

"Our meeting was followed by one after another. It became our routine to meet there, talking about our likes and dislikes, our experiences, our day, our family and basically our life. I never became so much close to someone except you. You would tell stories to me which never fail to inspire. We even had the most wonderful picnics there. I would always bring kimchi that I made and you would eat it all in a flash like you were inhaling it. But then you would look at me and smile shyly, apologizing and saying that you really love kimchi especially when I made it. In return for bringing you the kimchi, you would bring spaghetti. You know that my favourite food is pasta and would bring it carefully packed. One time I asked you where you bought it because it was so good but you said that it was homemade. A little embarrassed, you told me that after so much persuasion, your mother finally taught you how to cook spaghetti and it was the only recipe you know.

"Every time we were together I felt so much happiness that eventually I found myself falling for you. Yes, you were my first love. Hey! Don’t be arrogant now that you know! When I realized that I am in love with you, I was finally enlightened to why I always felt tingling in my heart whenever I was with you. There were always warmth and contentment when I was by your side. Whatever I do, you were always lurking in my mind and every night I would always dream about you. I kept praying that you would also feel the same way about me.

"Last year as we were preparing to leave our little hill, you said that we need to meet there again that coming weekend. You said that you had something to tell to me, so I agreed. On the date of our meeting, I waited under our tree. I waited…

and waited…

and waited.

"Hours passed but there was still no sign of you. I called your phone many times but there was no answer. I still kept waiting until the blue sky gradually turned to red, and then to black. Nothing. You didn’t come.

"After I went home, I slept with a very heavy heart. At least you were still in my dream that night. But in this dream, we were very far apart. I was on top of the hill and you were down on the road waving goodbye. We were both crying. I tried to go to you but somehow there was an invisible barrier that prevented me from reaching you. I struggled really hard to move but then, I could feel that the dream was about to end so kept shouting your name while crying but you just shook your head and as I was slowly gaining consciousness, I heard you whispered, ‘Smile and be happy.’

"My phone was ringing when I woke up. The number registering on the screen was yours but when I answered the phone, I heard a woman’s voice. She was crying very hard and all that she could say was that...you died.”

Suzy was now wiping her tears while she looked at the gravestone beside her. “Why? Why did you have to die? At the funeral, your mother told me all about it. That you always spoke to your family about me and that you were just waiting for the right time to confess. The day of our meeting was the right time you’ve been waiting for. Your mother said that you left the house so happy and excited but after an hour, someone called them that you met an accident. A driver lost control of his car but you didn't see it and as you cross the road it hit you. At the hospital, you were still in a coma when they brought you in but died during the night.

"Do you know that if you haven’t met an accident, today will be our first year anniversary? You know that do you? Yes, I would gladly accept if you confessed that day. So… happy…”

Suzy was crying very hard but took a deep breath. With lips still trembling, she tried to smile, “You said to be happy and smile right? I’ll do that. Don't worry. Happy anniversary to us, Kim Myungsoo! Even if I didn't hear your confession, in my heart I already accepted it so it is still our anniversary. Though it maybe a short time, I really thank God for letting me know and love you. There will always be a part of you in my heart. "

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. - Alfred Lord Tennyson