Painful Memories

Tonight Is Not Over Yet

 A/N: If you cry easily, I suggest you arm yourself with a box of tissues (not that you really need so much) before reading this chapter. Just a heads-up, I teared while writing this chapter.


Recap:

Daesung laughed his usual hearty laugh. Apparently, this girl had no idea who he was. “Thank you!” he smiled to the girl. “I’m not though, I’m just a cat lover.”

So am I!” exclaimed the girl. “Can we be friends?” she asked Daesung with a hopeful expression.

She looks cute with that face, thought Daesung. He nodded and smiled again. “Hello, I’m Kang Daesung,” he said and extended a hand.

The girl grabbed his hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you Daesung-shi! I’m Chloe,” she said and smiled.

Chloe Wang.”

The two chatted for a while, before exchanging phone numbers and bidding goodbye. As Chloe walked away, her mind was occupied by the boy with a mesmerising smile she just met.


[After that day]

Texts began to fly between the two of them, which was followed soon after with calls. In no time at all, they made plans to meet up, not just once but again and again. During their numerous chats, both of fhem realised they shared a lot in common and enjoyed each other's company immensely. It was of no surprise when Daesung asked Chloe to be his girlfriend and she accepted happily. Despite the fact that Daesung had to wear disguises whenever they went out for a date, which was rare because of Daesung's busy schedule as a celebrity, the pair was very happy...

[Fast forward to a few months later]

Chloe! Why are you doing this?” Daesung cried. He couldn’t believe his ears.

Chloe looked at him. Her heart softened for a moment at Daesung’s desperate expression, but her thoughts returned to the man she recently met and she knew she had to do this. It wasn’t fair to any of them if she kept on going out with Daesung. “I’m sorry, Daesung, truly sorry. But I don’t love you anymore,” she said truthfully.

The words pierced through Daesung’s heart. “But why? What did I do wrong? Did I not love you enough? I’m sorry, give me another chance okay? Please?” he pleaded. He couldn’t stand the thought of losing her.

It’s not you, Daesung, it’s me,” Chloe said quietly. She couldn’t bear to look at Daesung anymore; she really hated herself for causing him so much pain. “I had a change of heart. When I saw him... I knew that I would end up with him. I’m really sorry, Daesung-ah...” she repeated, deep down in her heart knowing that no amount of sorrys will relieve his sadness.

What about me then? About us? The dreams we shared, and how we were going to achieve them together?” Daesung’s voice cracked. “Did you forget about them?”

Tears had already formed in Chloe’s eyes and she struggled not to cry in front of Daesung, but she knew it was impossible. She had to break up with him now. Just as well, she thought. Might as well end this quicker. I don’t want to cause him any more pain than what he is already going through. Taking a deep breath, she asked, “How about you? Did you forget about them?” Seeing Daesung open his mouth to protest, she shook her head and quickly continued. “Even if you didn’t, is it possible to actually achieve it? Think about it, Daesung. You’re a celebrity, someone whose private life is open to the public to scrutinise and criticize. We’re not even dating publicly because you’re scared how our relationship will harm your career. Do you know how hurt I was everytime I saw you deny having a girlfriend in your interviews? I know why you did it, but I still feel like you're ashamed of having a non-celebrity girlfriend, like I'm not good enough to be the famous Kang Daesung's girlfriend. I’m sick of this, Daesung. Sick and tired of pretending that we’re not a couple.”

Do you know what I truly want, Daesung? I just want to lead a normal life, have a normal boyfriend with whom I can actually go out on dates in public without the fear of paparazzi discovering my relationship. I don’t want to play hide-and-seek anymore, Daesung. Can you understand me?” she asked Daesung with a pleading look. Please, just let me go, she thought.

Daesung was speechless. He had never knew how much Chloe suffered with their underground relationship. “I... I’m sorry. I never saw how much you were suffering. I guess I’m really selfish huh, always only thinking about myself and never about you,” he said with a rueful smile. “You’re right; you deserve to lead a normal life. I shouldn’t be forcing you to suffer along with me. Well then, let’s break up.” Daesung’s heart broke as he said the last 3 words.

Chloe couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. They flowed freely down her face as she listened to what Daesung said. “I’m sorry Daesung. I’m really not worthy of your love. Go and find someone who can date you and not be concerned whether their relationship is public or not. Be happy without me, Daesung,” Chloe said as she took off the couple ring on her finger, engraved with their names, and returned it to Daesung.

Daesung’s hand shook as he took the ring. “Honestly, I don’t know if I’m able to smile and mean it after this. It’ll take me some time to get over you,” he said as he looked at the crying Chloe. Pocketing the ring, he couldn’t resist reaching out and gently wipe away her tears. “Baby, please don’t cry,” Daesung whispered.

Chloe shook her head and took a step back. “Please don’t do this anymore Daesung; don’t make this harder than it already is,” she begged.

They looked at each other in silence, communicating with their eyes.

The silence was suddenly broken by the sound of Chloe’s phone ringing. Fishing around in her bag, she retrieved her phone, and saw a message from him. Now was her escape. “I have to go now Daesung, he’s expecting me. Goodbye, Daesung,” she said and turned around. She needed to get away now, before she broke down in front of Daesung. Chloe began speed walking away from him, fighting the urge to run back to him. Looking back at Daesung out of the corner of her eye, making sure he didn't notice it, Chloe let one last tear fall.

Daesung stared at her retreating back. “Goodbye, my dear Chloe,” he whispered as he saw Chloe walk into the arms of her new beau. The man who could make her happy in ways Daesung couldn’t. The young and successful businessman with a handsome face and a stare that could kill. The man who, according to Chloe, loved her deeply. The one and only Choi Seunghyun.

"Be happy without me, Chloe," Daesung whispered, echoing her words to him.

Don't look back, just leave

Don't think about me and move on

Because I have no regrets from loving you

So leave taking the good memories

Oh girl, I cry, cry

You’re my all, say goodbye

Haru Haru - Big Bang


A/N: I never planned to have Haru Haru lyrics in this story since I actually just wanted song quotes from the original songs in the 4th mini album, but when I edited it I realised just how fitting the lyrics are to this part of the story. So I added it in, hope you all don't mind! And yes, I’m aware that I didn’t put the entire Haru Haru chorus here. It’s intentional; I feel that the first part of the chorus is more relevant to Daesung’s feelings as compared to the second part, so I just put in the first part as well as two of my favourite lines in Haru Haru.

And I'm so sorry for updating so late! I know I was supposed to update this long ago but I had a lot of things to do as usual... Man and it's supposed to be holidays now. -.-” well hope you guys don't hate on me too much!

Yes, I did have fun on my trip to UK! Sadly, UNIQLO didn't sell 2NE1 shirts or hoodies :( Awww. Oh well, there's always a next time. Right? Meanwhile I'm just eagerly awaiting 2NE1's new track I'm The Best! :D

I'm also wondering how Daesung is doing... Knowing his character I don't think he's doing too well at the moment. Then again, nobody would be. Sigh. I'm really worried for the autopsy results. Constantly praying for Daesung to be fine...

By the way, this story is ending soon... Only a few more chapters left to go. I did say that this was originally supposed to be a oneshot but I felt it was too long to be one so I decided to extend it a bit. Going to miss you guys... But don't worry, I have a whole list of ideas that I randomly got while writing TINOY and also my trip to UK inspired me as well. I'm actually rather eager to start working on them :) Will give you all more details on my upcoming works in the last chapter.

Anyway, I'm sorry for such a long author's note. I have a bad habit of ranting. Okay, going to stop my rant here now and give you chapter 6's teaser.

Teaser for chapter 6:

Yun Ae gasped softly when she saw what was in Daesung's eyes: desire... And lust?

Hahaha, who's wondering what is going to happen next? Happy wondering! I'm such an evil writer XD

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Comments

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fareencheolyong #1
Ill give it a try:)
AahFeeKiee #2
Oh, and I came for the Music Wave and MAMA too, since I live in Singapore. I also went to Super Show 3 and SHINee concert. I missed SNSD's concert and 2PM's concert but I guess it was a great year still. <br />
<br />
Oh and here is the fanfic. Do read it, yeah? I'm done with first 2 chapters. I've finished the core themes of up to chapter 17. Now writing chapter 3 :)
AahFeeKiee #3
Love your story! Can't wait for more. I have my own with Jonghyun it in. Daesung and Seungri will come later.
Starlightshine #4
@decembermouse: Aww thanks!! :DD yeah I did... Wish Daesung was there though, it eould've been even more fun...
g-dino
#5
Nice story!<br />
=)<br />
Omg you went to the concert.. X_X
Starlightshine #6
@leahtaeyang: Replied you on your wall. :) And thanks for the ultra-long comment! I love ultra-long comments :D
leahtaeyang
#7
*hands up* so happy this isn't the last chapter^^ i really loved this one it was so cute and sweet I can't wait for more!This really made me wish I had a bf like Daesungie<3 I hope you did well on the exams and I'm quite jealous that you went to the Korean Music Wave without me haha but glad you had fun :_) And yes I love the new album , Lonely, Ugly and Hate You are my favorite.<br />
update soon~
Starlightshine #8
@AyumiLikesSHINee: Hello! ^^ I love it when I get new subscribers :D thanks so much! ^^
-Wanderlust-
#9
Hi new reader here.I really like this story.Update soon.:)
leahtaeyang
#10
yay new update...i enjoyed this chapter but sad to know that the next update will be the last:( i wonder if that bartender is taeyang hahaha, my eyes lit up when i read that part kekeke~<br />
anyway thanks for the update and good luck on your exams:)