This entire chapter will be told in Seohyun’s POV/first-person.

It’s been two years Kyu-ah… How are you doing up there? I’m sure you’re fine, since you no longer have to feel pain.

I walked down the long stairs in the train station. This was where I first met you, my guardian angel. I sat down on a seat and took out the pair of earpieces you gave me. It’s as white as your pure heart, I remember you said. How nice would it be if you were right beside me, sharing this earpiece?

The train arrived and I took it. I stared out of the window, seeing nothing but black since the train is an underground train. Suddenly, my phone vibrated, shocking me. I looked at the screen and sighed. I pressed the screen to pick up the call.

“Ryeowook ah.” I spoke.

“Where are you? Sorry, I just finished settling family matters.”

“On the train. I have 2 more stops.” I checked my watch. It was almost 4pm, much to my surprise. I remembered how cold it was outside the train station not too long ago. Winter, it was never really my favourite season since you left.

“Okay. I’ll drive there in a while. You just go see that fella first alright?” Then he hung up. He must’ve been too busy these days. I can’t blame him; his life only went back to normal a few months ago. I sighed and continued to stare out into space until I reached my stop.

I walked out of the train station carefully and took a deep breath before stepping out into the cold. I stuffed my hands into my pink coat and sped away down the streets. There were not many people, probably because it was too cold to be out. It hasn’t snowed and it was already this cold. This year’s winter must be a harsh one.

My footsteps however slowed down as I neared my destination. I took out the white rose in my bag and made my way past the graves. As I neared you, my footsteps became heavier, and it became harder to breathe. Tears welled up my eyes as I stood before your grave. I lowered my head and the salty liquid reached my mouth unknowingly. I sat down slowly and put the white rose down.

“I’m here now, Kyu-ah…” I said with a piercing pain across my chest.

More tears streamed down after I said your name. It has been a while since I’ve mentioned you, and it hurts so badly. I covered my mouth with my hand in attempt to soften my painful cries. Even though it has been two years, I could still feel the physical pain when I think of you. Why must you leave me in this state? Why must you leave us like this?

“Cho Kyuhyun… you idiot.” I spat. I was sure my eyes were already red and swollen, but I did not care. I continued, “Do you think that by leaving us ‘quietly’, no one will feel any pain? And why are you copying me? You wrote on your diary that you never used to keep one until you met me.”

I remember last month when Ara unnie finally handed me your 2 diaries. I was surprised, but accepted it anyways. It took me a great deal of courage to open it up and read its contents. Every page was filled with your neat and delicate handwriting. I smiled at the entries in your first diary where you wrote about how you kept hesitating whether or not to confess, our dates, how I was like the cure to your illness and your jealousy when I talked to other guys aside from you. Every little interaction between me and you were all written down, and it seemed like you were right by my side.

It was only when I read your diary, I knew why you did what you did. That entry was your last, and every word was engraved in my head, as much as I did not want to remember it.

11•03•28

Dear Diary,

This will be my last entry. I realized that this is my second diary I’ve used since I met Seohyun. Haish, that girl has changed my life so much that I have started to write diaries, something I thought only girls would do. I’m not sure if it’s alright to write it here, since my family would read this.

I have decided to leave quietly. I know this is a selfish decision, but I think it’s the best I can do so far. If I leave quietly, everyone will not feel as upset. Think about it, if anyone saw their loved one die before them, wouldn’t the image stay in their heads forever? At least they won’t remember how I died, as I think it’ll be really scary, horrifying even. I don’t want that image to stay in their heads. I’ve already left that monstrous image in their heads whenever this tumour decides to do its stupid thing.

To whoever manages to find this diary and reads this entry, I’m sorry I’ve come to such a decision. It’s not like I could discuss this with you right? You’ll say no, and I won’t like it. Please live well even after I’m gone. I don’t want to see you frowning when I’m in heaven. That’s not what people call “Rest In Peace”. So, please, I’m not asking you to forget me, but just keep smiling. :)  

“Why did you even think that you fool?” I asked, voice hoarse. I cleared my throat, since you wrote on your diary saying that you loved my ‘angelic’ voice, I don’t want to make it sound weird. I cleaned your photo on your grave. You were smiling so brightly in the picture, it somehow comforted me a little thinking that this may be how you are feeling up there now.

“And Kyu… I’m sorry. I’ve yet to fulfill your last wish.” I bit my lip. I gently touched the silver ring on my ring finger; it was our ring. “I understand your intentions, but I just can’t bring myself to… like anyone besides you.”

Ryeowook has been my greatest support for a while, and I’ve also became his. We both went through the same heart-breaking experience. Even though I was supposed to be there to console him when he needs it, I still kept my distance. Our friendship did turn sour, but as time went by, things started to go back to normal. Despite that, I would still keep my distance, and I noticed that he kept his as well. On alternate weekends, I would dine with Ryeowook, but that was all of our interactions. We both knew in our hearts we couldn’t bring this friendship into another level.

“Ryeowook’s a nice guy, I know that well. He has been a great friend, and I hope I was a good one to him as well. You know, it’s just that, I can’t bring myself to love anyone besides you. You gave me so much, and you changed my life as well. I was a shy girl that came from an all girls’ school and you were pretty much the first guy I talked to. Ever since I dated you, I started to talk a lot more than I used to. It was also because of you I became more confident in talking to people, do you know that?” I confessed. I was surprised how perfectly all those words rolled out of my tongue. I coughed, and white smoke came out of my mouth. The temperature was low, and I started to feel a lot colder as well. It felt really weird. Suddenly, I saw a snowflake slowly fall down before my eyes. My eyes widened, and I looked up at the sky.

It finally snowed. I put out my hand to let a few snowflakes fall onto my palm, only to see them melt within seconds. I remember how much I used to like snow, and that we shared our first kiss after Seoul was covered in a white blanket. The memory brought a smile to my face, as well as tears to my eyes.

“It’s you isn’t it? You made it snow.” I chuckled. It was the first time I let out any form of laughter in this place. “Thank you.” I whispered as I brushed the petals of the white rose, your new favourite flower after meeting me.

I looked at my watch, and I was shocked to find out that it was past 5. I looked up and searched around for signs of Ryeowook, but all I see was another person at another grave. I took out my phone with the piano phone strap dangling and texted Ryeowook.

To: Ryeowook

Where are you? It’s been an hour.

I sat in silence and watched as the snow danced down onto the earth. It was a beautiful sight, and I enjoyed it despite the freezing weather and the lack of thick clothes. I sneezed and I looked at your face again. “What a perfect timing to make it snow huh, sharp-tongued Cho?” I chuckled. I haven’t talked to anyone in this tone for more than two years, as it reminded me so much of you. Suddenly, my phone vibrated in my pocket.

From: Ryeowook

I’m coming soon. I went home to grab a coat, in case you didn’t wear a thick clothing. It’s snowing now isn’t it?

My heart sunk at the text message. Despite my efforts in pushing Ryeowook away, he still did his best to fulfill his role of being my protector, my guard. I could only sigh and feel apologetic towards Ryeowook. You stupid idiot Cho Kyuhyun, even if you offered me to a stranger on the streets, I would not even like him or bother about him. Why make things difficult for me and Ryeowook?

Suddenly I felt someone putting on a thick coat over me. I looked up, only to see Ryeowook smiling at me, showing his ever so white set of teeth. I returned a slight smile, and he placed a white rose down as well.

“Seems like the three of us are together again, just like before.” He said. I smiled, one that showed a little of my teeth. “Sometimes, I wonder if he ever left us.” He chuckled. Ryeowook was always smiling, even though I could see the pain behind that set of pearly white teeth. I nodded as we sat in silence, and left when it was late enough.

Maybe, you never really said goodbye after all.

Okay crappy ending, but I didn't really want to end DSG with the sad letter.

Alright. Here's an awkward confession. Don't Say Goodbye was actually kind of inspired by another story, I just gave emphasis on Kyuhyun's illness instead, but this particular story struck me when I started on the skeleton of DSG. The story I really liked is called "My Fatal Breeze" by this amazing author-nim called Shadowyin. She's really one of my favourites. I enjoy each and every one of her stories and I like her writing style a lot. Here's a mini shout-out to her? Keke.

So this is the end. Thank you guys for giving me so much support. I will be taking a break from writing until my Chinese O Levels are over. The written paper will be on June 3, and I'm trying my best to speak in Chinese as much as I can these days. Maybe after the O's I'll write more. Can you guys wait till then?

Oh and I'm wondering, should I write super short drabbles on couples from various idol groups and post them up in one story? I'll need to write a few more so that I have enough to post up by then. What do you guys think? ^^

Alright, this is the end. Really.

I love all of you so much.

Goodbye~ and thanks for reading. ♥