Soojin

               "Nana, can I come?" I said to Nana over the phone.

               "Sure babe." She answered while, I think, munching macaroons.

               I walked down to Nana's loft with my head turned down and hands in my pockets, avoiding everyone that passed by me. Once I was in front of the door, I rang the doorbell.

               "I told him it was my last time coming there, but after that, he takes me there everytime. And we take turns in treating each other."

               "Oooh. Interesting." Nana nodded as if I'm telling her clues I've found and she's the detective, that apparently loves macaroons. "So you puked on him?"

               "Yes."

               "So, shall I puke on guys to get one?"

               "No! That's disgusting!" I pretend slapped Nana on the face then we just both laughed.

               "Well... you did caught Sungmin and that Hongki guy by puking on them."

               "I don't want to mention Sungmin again." Like what I accidentally did on Hongki, I accidentally puked on Sungmin. It was at a party. And you know how I do with parties. I get wasted and I barf... most probably on someone.

               "OMG, is that the Kim Soojin I know?" Nana gasped.

               "I have to forget him, Nana." I said while sitting down on the couch and hugging a pillow.

            "There there." Nana went near beside me and patted my head, the back on my head on her arms, and our heads side by side. I let go of the pillow and hugged Nana instead.

            "I can't get my delusions to go away, I see him everywhere. I wish it would stop." I cried while on her arms

            "It will go away, I promise."

__________________________________________

            "Noona-ya~" Hongki let out an overdose of aegyo in front of me. "Ppuing ppuing."

            "You know you at this, Hongki." He dropped his hands and straighten his back.

            "I know." He said still in an aegyo voice. I just scoffed at him. Then he pointed me to the odd building on the other side of the street. They actually own a whole floor and they practice songs there.

            "Jonghun... Jaejin... Minhwan... and Seunghyun..."   Hongki introduced them.

            "Hi... Hi... Hi" We all bowed to each other.

            "You all know her." he said to his band mates. I got to know them better with this meeting. They met in a club where Hongki was singing drunk on stage and they, by that time, have not found a vocalist for their band so they signed him up.    

            "Play one song for me please?" I said, now letting my aegyo out. The rest of his band mates laughed except Hongki.

            "You at that too, you know." He said then he crunched his nose.

            They played a song, and another. Then another. It was all heaven for me. The music's vibrations, somewhat kept my heart beating, again, like what Sungmin did. Then it hit me. I will never forget Sungmin. The more I try, the more impossible it is. Forgetting Sungmin was impossible. But what do I have to do? I just have to get over him. Easy to say, again, but hard to do.

            "Thank you, you guys are so good." I said while holding my two thumbs up. "

            "Thank you, Noona. We're actually practicing for an audition next week." Jonghun said.

            "Oh! Good luck with that! You could get in, I'm pretty sure of it."

            "Waa, thank you." And they all bowed to me. I got my trenchcoat and went outside with Hongki.

            We walked down to Nana's flat side by side. No holding hands and no talking whatsoever. It was just the both of us. Hongki reminds me so much of Sungmin, making forgetting Sungmin impossible. His smile, his voice, his manners. Every little thing just screams out Sungmin. Except Sungmin does aegyo way better than Hongki.

            When we arrived at Nana's loft, I rang the doorbell and sent Hongki off.

            "Hi banana." I waved at Nana, she's eating munchkins while watching Jersey Shore one tv.

            "Sup babe." She said. Half eating half talking. "How did it go?"

            "Worse." I put my trench coat in the coat hanger and sat beside Nana. She turned off the tv and faced me.

            "What happened? Did something went wrong?" Her eyes widened while munchkins in hand.

            "Nothing went wrong, it was great actually!" I sighed. "He reminds me so much of Sungmin."

            "Who is Sungmin?" She pretended to not know him because I was, in fact, forgetting him. We laughed and I grabbed his box of munchkins lying on the coffee table.

            "Ugh. I hate Sungmin. Why does he have to go?"

            "Who is he again? I don't know, honey." She has this i-don't-know face on and chewed on more munchkins. And we giggled.

            I turned the tv on again and watched Jersey Shore with Nana. "I don't get this show."

            "Me neither. Why do they show their tities on tv? Why are they tanned?"

            "Whatever Nana, turn that off again. I can't bare it any longer. Or else I'll puke again." And then Nana turned the tv in fear again. Nana turned to face me, and lean on the sofa.

            "You know what you are, honey?" She asked.

            "What?"

            "Your favorite flower."

            "Sunflower?" I was  confused.

            "Yes." She looked at me seriously this time. "A sunflower. A sunflower turns its head only towards the sun. Wherever it is, the sunflower would always turn facing the sun." I looked at her quizzically. "And Sungmin is the sun. You kept looking at him. Only him. You refuse to even notice the soil below you. The soil that holds you to keep you standing. I'm sure you had all your sun when Sungmin was there, when Sungmin was alive. But honey don't forget that night time will surely come. And when it does, you have to bow your head.

            "Forgetting him was the least of your problems, honey. Getting over him is not really the answer as well. The answer to your faint little problem is to accept the facts."