Hongki

             "Why would I let you pay? I'm a man! I won't let you pay"

              "Practically because I can. I hate violet you know. And you barely know me." She scoffed at me. Barely know you? You must "barely know me" but I know you really well, miss Kim Soojin. Lee Sungmin's beloved ex. I almost forgot about him but you just reminded me once again. I tried forgetting him too, you know. It's not just you who's hurting. But I'm not blaming you. No one even knew why Sungmin killed himself. I almost killed myself, but I remembered my bestfriend's last words "Please take care of my girlfriend."

            I just went inside the other room and gathered my things and put it inside my bag. I looked for my guitar but it's not here. Where is it? I thought. I looked inside the cabinets but it's not there. I walked outside with my bag in hand and find Soojin holding my guitar and strumming it carelessly.

            "So you're in a band."

            "Yes, Noona." I nod

            "You're good, I maybe drunk but I know how to enjoy music. Can you sing to me?" She asked me releasing her unbearable aegyo.

            "That'll cost you." I reminded her.

            "I know, I can pay." So I dropped my bag and went closer to her and asked her to give my guitar back. As I sat on the floor, she followed and sat in front of me. I tapped the guitar three times and belted out one of our songs.

 "남자의 첫사랑 무덤까지 간다고
사랑의 기준은 언제나 너였어
좀처럼 깊게 마음 못줘서 누군지도 모른채
자꾸 그리워했지

나 하지만 너무 잘알잖아 
끝난 사랑에 다시 너 없다는걸 
왜 항상 사랑할땐 안보일까 
놓친게 왜 그리울까 왜넌 그리울까"

                      (A man’s first love follows her to the grave
You were the only one I loved
I could hardly give you my deep heart
Whoever it was, I ignored them

I don’t have to tell you anything cause you know already
My love has ended and there’s no more


Why is it that every time I love, I see,
I lose you like that?

Why am I like that?) ,A Man's First Love (Follows her to the Grave) -FT Island.

               I sang with my eyes closed because I'm afraid tears would escape my eyes any second. As I finished the song and opened my eyes, I could see deep within her teary eyes while she sways to the melody of the song. I can she's just stopping herself from crying as well. I know only one person is in our minds. And now is the time. Time to what? Time to forget Sungmin? I can never forget him. Time to move on? Yes, time to move on. I know Sungmin wouldn't want his girlfriend to be in a bad place. But what I'm most at fault is, falling in love with your girlfriend, Sungmin. I tried dating others but it just won't work.

               I see her head is down so I asked her if she was hungry.

               "Yes yes yes yes yes, very." She locked her fingers with one another and raised it to her chest. I can see she's very very hungry. "I'll treat you? How about that? I puked on your shirt so... I'll treat ya." She changes mood so easily. I guess she got used to this while trying to hide her true feelings. But I can see her true feeling right now, and that is she's hungry.

               "Let's go!~~" We stood up and I let her take a bath and fix herself. And I just waited for her to get fixed. I waited for like an hour. "Hey you aren't the only one who's hungry!" I shouted enough to be heard inside the bathroom.       

               "Yes, umh Hongki-yah" She shouted together with the roars of the water from the showers.

               "Yep?"

               "Can I borrow, like a shirt? Do you have an extra? I can buy you a new one later?"

               "Uh yes. No need to buy me anothe-" And she stepped out with just towel wrapped around her body and hair.

               "Get out get out cover your eyes!" She shouted, which I already did before she asked me to.

               "Ok ok" I said while standing still and holding my eye with my two eyes. "You can get a shirt inside my bag. Shout when you're done okay"

               "Where's your bag? Oh okay I see it now! Thanks." And after minutes, she shouted "Fuwaaalalalala I'm ready!" She makes this little weird noises.

               To sum up my experience with her, we spent the night together... in a hotel. And she got (well barely ) twice. Oh... okay.

               She grabbed me by the arm the moment I removed my hands from my eyes. She carried my bag and gave it to me. She insisted on carrying the guitar because "It looks cool" She said. And so I let her. While walking out into the streets, we were walking side by side. I stared at her and now I can see her clearer. No makeup whatsoever and hair in its natural fall. I can see her skin so bright, her lips. No wonder Sungmin fell for her, no wonder I did too. She has this constant mood swings and a minute later she'll this all jolly little girl, then a minute later she'll be cursing everything. But I guess that's her charm. She caught me staring at her but she just smiled at me.

               "Ya, let's go there." And she pointed a restaurant in between a cafe and a donut shop. She grabbed me by my wrist and I just followed her. She brisk walked into the restaurant while pulling me from the back. I see her ash blonde hair bouncing up and down touching my guitar case. And ever since then, we came to eat here every time we're free. She treats me this time, and I treat her the next. I know, this isn't just some restaurant. She takes Sungmin here all the time. I took Hyelim too,all the time. Hoping to bump into each other, but never did.

               "Cookies and Cream please." She said to the waitress. She looked at me and waited for my order.

               "One salad please."

               "He'll take a Vanilla iced cream, please. Thanks." She smiled at the waitress.

               "Okay, Ms. Kim." The waitress nodded and rushed away. The waitress didn't even bothered to ask if she didn't want anything else, since it is a restaurant, not an ice cream parlor. The waitress even knew her name. She's obviously a regular.

               "I came to eat ice cream here a whole lot." I knew.

               "Oh." I let out a sigh. Way to forget about Sungmin, Ms. Kim Soojin.

               "But I guess it'll be my last today." She said, letting out a sigh. I didn't ask why.