Soojin

            "People say you're a sunflower who only loves the only one who you  consider your light, Lee Sungmin. I'm still here for you none the less. It hurts but it's ok. To me, you're a rose. And every rose has its thorns. The closer I get to you, the more I'm hurt."

            My back facing him, I could hear everything. It is taking a while for it all to sink in. I don't know why I'm smiling at his confession. Despite the sad things he's proclaiming right now, and I'm at the moment when I'm at my drunkest, I smile. I am more than touched. I feel butterflies in my stomache. Not just butterflies but the whole damn serengeti envaded my stomach. I hugged myself tightly and he started singing. Singing about ramyeon.

"물을 잘 끓인다 스프를 넣는다 면발도 넣는다 팔팔 더 끓인다
이렇게 보글보글 끓여주면 맛있게 먹어 줬으면 좋겠어
계란도 풀어서 파송송 썰어서 치즈도 녹여서 햄도 잘 썰어서
이렇게 보글보글 끓여주면 너는 많이 좋아 할거야
(Boil the water well, insert the soup mix
Insert the noodles and boil it even more
When I make it bubbling like this, I wish you will eat it deliciously
Crack an egg, chop up some scallions, melt some cheese and cut up some ham
When I make it bubbling like this, you will like it a lot.)

"잘할 수 있는게 이것뿐이라
이렇게도 아쉽지만
고급 레스토랑 부럽지 않아
너라면 둘이면 함께 있다면"
(This is the only thing I'm good at
Though I wish I could do more
I'm not jealous of the high-end restaurants
If only we're together, if only we're together.) -Ramyeon King, Milktea

            Hongki stands up making the cylindrical chair screech. His footsteps toward the kitchen. and a while later I can hear the boiling water, the opening of the instant noodles, the cracking of the eggs and the chopping of scallions. He kept on singing, then humming.

            I can smell ramyeon fill the room. My hands reach inside my shirt to caress my stomach as I hear it rumble. I... I would love ramyeon right now. "Boil me some!" I shouted before I could even stop myself. Hongki suddenly dropped a fork down the floor and turned around to face me.

            "You ing scared the out of me!" He hissed holding a huge spoon on the other hand. I sat up straight and see him down the kitchen with a violet apron that seems very fluffy to touch. "Very... very gay apron." I pointed his apron in a circular motion.

            "This is Nana's you know."

            "I know." I brushed off the blankets above me and I stood up. I approached him in the kitchen and grabbed the huge spoon he's holding but he just stares at me.

            "Do you... by any chance-"

            "What?"

            "...Heard me?" His hands trembling

            "Yes."

            "What!" He grabbed the fork that he dropped a while ago and avoided eye contact with me. He pretended to be busy by pretending to stir the noodles inside the pan. He looks anxious and is sweating. "About that-"

            "Nice singing." I cut him off. I hum along melody I remember. "You woke me up."

            "Oh that!" His eyes widened, as well as his mouth. His eyes was twitching weirdly and was pointing his shaking finger in the air. "That- hahahHAHHAHA" He just laughed it off. He tapped my shoulder and grinned at me with eyes barely seen.

            "Uh-huh." I nodded and acted I did not know anything. I whistled to the melody again.

            After the ramyeon is set, we decided to eat it on the couch.

            "Ramyeon seems perfect in this cold weather. Right, Noona?" And he smiled at me with so much glee. "I make the best ramyeon, go ahead try it!" He gestured his hands for me to start eating the ramyeon.

            "Oh god this is good." I had my mouth wide open to clear away the heat. But despite the heat this is the best damn ramyeon I've tasted. He crossed his arms with his chin up and his mouth smiling like he won the olympics but is staying humble.

            We finished "The Hongki Ramyeon Magic" as he names it. I never really liked spicy food but The Hongki Ramyeon Magic is an exemption.

            I managed to tour around the mini garden Nana has been taking care of lately. I've always loved flowers. I see my little favorite flower -sun flower- in one pot, seperated from the other sunflowers. Nana even named it after me. "Kim Soojin" I read out loud. I noticed the sunflower facing down and I looked up the sky. It's almost dusk. "Kim Soojin ah. Better look up now, your sun will soon rise. Another day will come, don't be sad."

            "Noona!" Hongki came out of the garden again with a pink mini comforter, a medicine for hangover and a bottle of water. He asked me to take it and I did so. It's the second time around helping me. I remember the first time he handed me a medicine for hangover, I would want to leave out the embarrassing parts and skip to the part when he was smiling at me. His smile could really light up the whole passive town.

            "Hongki-ya, thanks." I patted his fringe and it disarranged his hair. He blew air upwards from his mouth while his eyes trying to catch a glimpse of his hair. He handed me the mini comforters but I refused to. I'm only wearing shorts, it's really cold but I like it. It feels like the flowers all over, with their cold breaths, are whispering to my skin.

            We sat down the grass and waited for the sunrise. With our  palms facing the ground while our heads are on the clouds, we said nothing. I can see the sun slowly illuminating us, blinding us. I can see on my left sunflowers on my right slowly facing another day. I'm gonna be the sunflower they all say I am, rather than facing the sun, I'm gonna face another day.

            And in that faint little moment I closed my eyes and swore I'm gonna start anew.