Chapter 4

Can she forget him? She wanted to forget him but why it’s very difficult. She tried to throw all the memories of him as far as possible. She didn’t want to call back all memories, she convinced herself to hate him and will never forgive him. But why she could feel his presence once again as she felt when she was still with him. She could feel it and was silent locked in her place. She still remember everything about him, her breath caught for a moment and concentrated on her car.

"Miss Yoona are you alright?". Donghae’s question interrupted her thoughts and she smiled. Did she look very pale and anxious? She tried to smile.

"I'm alright Mr. Donghae." Yoona glanced at him and refused to make eye contact with him. She didn’t want what she felt to read by him. Donghae is another person, not a friend but her client.

Yoona took Donghae to meet Yonghwa and she leaned forward when she came out from the Yonghwa’s room. Her body trembled and her legs felt very heavy to move. Hyoyoen patted her shoulder. "hi Yoona"

"hi". Yoona replied her greeting quietly. She needed confirmation, but it was impossible she broke into Yonghwa’s room to interrogated him.

"your face look pale". Hyoyoen noticed her face and saw it carefully.

"hmm, I'm going to the cafetaria," said Yoona took her wallet and walked out from Hyoyoen.

"she’s very strange," Hyoyoen muttered to herself. She walked to her desk and took some files needed by Yonghwa.

"You want to come to my house?", Jessica asked him, she gave him a warm smile. They stopped in front of a big house.

Jonghyun shook his head. "I need rest, maybe next time"

"okay, see you Jonghyun in the office tomorrow. " Jessica out from the taxi and Jonghyun followed her. He helped Jessica out her suitcases from the trunk. When Jessica went to the gate of her house, he waving his hand with funny. "bye bye Jessica"

"hmm, bye bye Jonghyun". Jessica laughed at Jonghyun. "go rest Jonghyun and stop showing your aegyo"

"hhh". Jonghyun snorted and grinned to hear her sentence. He entered into a taxi and leaned his back into the car seat, once again he thought of Yoona. He knew Yoona definitely hate him, because the decision he took had hurt some people. Yoona probably would blame him for Soo Jin died after his departure to Paris.

Jonghyun stared at the scene outside the car and closed his eyes, he couldn’t forget about Yoona. Only her who is in his heart, though she would never give him a chance. What should he do to get her love? He felt to reach her heart was closed with a big wall.

Her gaze are very empty and in her mind only Jonghyun. Why he have to come back when she tried to forget him? She had to admit if removed his name very difficult. The pain was still there, the sadness that still marks in her heart and the wound in her heart was still not dry out. She held her drink with a hug. And pressing a number on her phone.

"yoboseyo"

"yoboseyo Hyunnie"

"Yoona?"

"Seohyun, I want to ask you?"

Yoona could hear the silence on her phone. "what's that Yoona?"

"Is that true if Jonghyun is back to Seoul?"

"what? He's back?"

"I saw him in the airport. You don’t know about that? Yonghwa didn’t say anything?"

"No, he didn’t say anything"

"Hyun, I'm afraid to meet with him"

Seohyun paused to hear that, "you still hate him?"

"too many wounds in my heart Seohyun"

"I'll call Yonghwa to ask about Jonghyun"

"Hyun .... I'm probably going to hurt him again if I meet him"

"Yoona, he was also hurt"

Yoona silence and tears slowly running down in her cheeks.

Jonghyun put his bags in one corner of his room. He sighed and looked around his apartment. Still the same as when he left that place. His eyes caught the photo on the table, his eyes very tired but he could see it clearly. He approached the photo and reached it, saw it with a look of longing.

"Yoona", he muttered quietly.

He was pressing a number on his phone and tentatively stuck in his ear. He heard voice on the phone. Jonghyun waiting until his call will pick up by someone.

"yoboseyo"

"yoboseyo"

"Jonghyun?"

"de"

"where are you?"

"In Paris"

"Paris?"

"de, Yonghwa"

"Jonghyun, why do you make a decision like this?!". He could hear his sighed. He was quiet and just listen. He didn’t want to talk much, he just wanted to hear news from Yonghwa.
"I have to make it Yonghwa. I have to choose"

"Jonghyun, you shall know that Soo Jin had died 2 days ago and if you know what happened to Yoona? She locked herself in her apartment. She felt so guilty, she felt that she had caused Soo Jin died"

"She's going to hate me?"

"Jonghyun, you know Yoona so well and I'm sure you'll find the answer"

He already knew the answer. Yoona will hate him, he will not have the opportunity to love her. But he couldn’t choose for his life? It was a big mistake in his life to love her?
Jonghyun decided to return to Seoul because he followed his heart. In Paris he met Jessica, his partner in the office. He established a good friendship with her. There was no love between them, they're just two people who need a best friend because they live so far away from their country.

Yonghwa heard his phone vibrate when he was talking with Donghae, he took it from the table and saw who is calling.

"Sorry Mr. Donghae. I have to pick up the phone for a minute," said Yonghwa while standing and walking slowly away from Donghae.

"oh it's okay Mr. Yonghwa"

Yonghwa answered his phone. "yoboseyo Hyun. What's it?"

"Yoona called me. She said Jonghyun has returned to Seoul"

Yonghwa shocked and he was clutching his phone tightly. "He has returned to Seoul?"

"de, Yoona saw him at the airport"

Yonghwa lifted his face and glared at Donghae. "at the airport?"

"de, why?"

"I told Yoona to pick Mr. Donghae at 10 am in the airport"

"She saw him Yonghwa-ah. She could feel his presence. She couldn’t lie to her heart if she still keep her love for Jonghyun"

"but do you remember with her words when Soo Jin died? She will not forgive Jonghyun"

"But you must know if the difference of hate and love very thin and I know she still love him"

Yonghwa sighed softly and lowered his face gently. "I know she can’t lie"

"She must throw away her ego Yonghwa~ah. She was still thinking of Soo Jin, and I'm sure she could open her heart to Jonghyun if she wants to try it"

"I'm sure Seohyun"

Yonghwa saw Yoona trying to concentrate work on the report. He couldn’t bear asked her to took Donghae to the hotel. Finally he asked someone else to took Donghae.

"Jinwoon", called Yonghwa when he seeing Jinwoon past him.

"De, Mr. Yonghwa ". Jinwoon stood facing him and Yoona looked to see Yonghwa called his name.

"I want you to accompany Mr. Donghae to the hotel. This is the address." Yonghwa provided a paper to Jinwoon.

"Alright Mr. Yonghwa ". Jinwoon smiled, leaned forward slightly to Yonghwa and directly overlooking to Donghae. Then Donghae followed Jinwoon to the elevator. He could see Yoona was tidying a few files and smiled. Yonghwa approached Yoona’s table and stood nearby her.

"Yoona, I want you to my room now"

"Okay". Yoona stood up and followed Yonghwa to get into the his room. Yonghwa sat in his chair and Yoona stood in front of him.

"Seohyun called me, Is that true if Jonghyun has returned to Seoul?", asked Yonghwa. He saw Yoona turned her face to the side as to avoid the question.

"I think he's back." She felt a rumble in her chest and trying to contain her grief. "Could I go back to my desk?"

"okay Yoona." Yonghwa didn’t want to continue the question. He knew Yoona still save a huge disappointment to Jonghyun. Hearing his name like to hear a thunder that will be grabbed her. Yoona walked out from the Yonghwa’s room. She stood for a moment, pulled her breathing that felt very heavy and holding all the pain that had suddenly hit the entire her body system. She will strong when she meet Jonghyun? Until when she will avoid him, hate him, hurt him? She need a very long time to forget about him? Or she never could forget him? The question was scattered in her mind and she’s confused to answer.

At 7 pm, Jonghyun sitting on the couch and holding a can of beer alone. He set his breath for a moment, closed his eyes and inhaled the air in his apartment. For 3 years he was always thinking, it’s alright if he took that decision? Leaving Soo Jin and Yoona. He's already done it but the question was always came to him, especially after he heard the news that Soo Jin died. Soo Jin aws very kind to him and has given a very big love to him. But he must choose.

Jonghyun woke up from his seat and took the car keys. He came out from his apartment and locked it. He had stopped and wanted to turn his body over to get into his apartment again. But he didn’t, he just stood looking at the door. His heart was beating irregularly.
"I must go". Jonghyun walked to the elevator and pressed the button to go down to the floor below.

Yoona exhaled her breath and stepped slowly to get into the apartment. She wanted to go home to rest, didn’t follow the Hyoyoen and Jinwoon’s invitation to the café. She should forget about Jonghyun, the sentence is always ringing in her ears. Arguing with her mind made her dizzy. Her expression was very tired and her shoulders slumped. Yoona walked and closed her eyes several times. Her eyelids are very heavy and she wanted to throw her body into the bed.

Jonghyun stared at Yoona from the car. He really missed her figure. He wanted to hug her tiny body and inhaled her scent. But he couldn’t do it, he could only imagined and hoped that Yoona will forgive him.

She stopped walking and suddenly her heart was beating fast. Yoona’s body erected at once, she turned to the right and left. She didn’t know why all of a sudden she wanted to stop, stood a moment on where she stood.

"Jonghyun?". That name was gliding smoothly from . Yoona puzzled why she pronounced that name. "is Jonghyun here?". She turned around quickly, looking in all directions, trying to find Jonghyun in the middle of the night. "I'm just hallucinating", she assured herself when she didn’t find Jonghyun.

Jonghyun standing at the front door of Yoona’s apartment. Fear, doubt, guilt haunted him. He put his hand on the door, he just wanted to stand there for a minute. He was glad to know that Yoona in good condition. Although he didn’t see her smile again, maybe he'll get a hard slap on his face, verbal abuse, the hatred that throw to him by her. Jonghyun inhaled his deep breath and turned toward the elevator.

Yoona stopped in her steps when through the door, she stared at the door of her apartment very long. She approached the door and opened it slowly. She didn’t see anyone and stepped out from her apartment. Suddenly she frowned and turned quickly toward the elevator. She shook her head slowly, then with a rush she pressed the elevator button. The elevator opened and her breath wheezing.

"You want to get into the elevator?", asked one middle-aged woman fell silent when she saw Yoona looked into elevator.

"De". Yoona went into the elevator and regulated her breathing. She was unable to say anything and tried to control her feelings. When the elevator was already heading downstairs, Yoona ran out from her apartment building. She saw him, she saw him, she saw him. She ran as tight as possible to approach him.

"JONGHYUN", she cried when she saw him and ran towards him. She saw the man stopped in his steps. "I should hate him, I should hate him." But tears flowed profusely down in her cheeks.

She was breathing heavily as she stood staring at the man's back. "Jonghyun?!". No answer. "Jonghyun, I know it's you"

The man still didn’t turn his body over and just stood like a statue. "Why do you have to go back to Seoul? You should stay in Paris"

Yoona not stepped, she just stared his back. She knew the man is Jonghyun. The man didn’t look to Yoona. After Yoona said that, the man walked away from Yoona.

"WAIT", shouted Yoona so his steps stopped again. "what your purpose back to Seoul? To hurt me? ", Yoona asked with a trembling voice.

"I never want to hurt you Yoona". She really knew that voice. Jonghyun still not turned his body to see Yoona. He couldn’t meet her eyes, he couldn’t see her hatred, he couldn’t see her sadness, he couldn’t see her cry. "You are very aware of my arrival Yoona. Do you still keep your feelings to me?"

Every second that passed by Yoona when staring at his back like a torment in her heart. She wanted to hit him, slap his face, scold him. But she couldn’t do it. She still loves him?

"I just want to see you Yoona, just want to see you." His voice quivered and restrained. Then he stepped left Yoona.

Yoona couldn’t hold back her tears. She didn’t feel strong when she must saw Jonghyun away from her like that. There is no goodbye from him. He just wanted to see her.

"Morning", Jessica greeted Jonghyun when he took a cup of coffee.

"Morning"

"Okay, today ... We have a schedule." Jessica's eyes looked to the file that she was holding. "We will meet with Mr. Jung Yonghwa today"

Jonghyun stopped drinking his coffee. He looked at Jessica who still looked to the file. "I will meet Yoona there?"

"Jessica, when are we going to meet Mr. Jung Yonghwa?"

"At 11 am"

Jonghyun out from the car followed Jessica. They followed Mr. Kim Jae Suk from behind. He covered up his anxiety and tried to calm. He didn’t want Jessica know about his feelings. When he walked into the Yonghwa’s room, he closed his eyes briefly, drew his breath slowly. He knew Yonghwa’s room not far from the Yoona’s desk.

Yoona bring some files in her hand but her eyes stopped when she saw Jonghyun.
"Jonghyun". She saw the woman standing beside him. "That woman?". Then she heard someone calling her name.

"Miss Yoona"

Yoona looked over and saw Donghae stood not far from her with Jinwoon.

"Oh anneyeonghaseyo Mr. Donghae." Yoona bowed politely.

Donghae smiled at her and walked past her to get into the Yonghwa’s room.

Yonghwa quite surprised to see Jonghyun, but he tried not to show it in front of everyone in his office.

"Hello Mr. Kim Jae Suk." He greeted Mr. Kim Jae Suk with politely and friendly. He also saw Jessica standing beside Jonghyun. Then not long after Jinwoon went to his room with Mr. Donghae.

Jonghyun suddenly felt that Jessica held his hand tightly, not a warm grip but the grip of fear. He saw her face pale and her eyes as empty. He followed Jessica's eyes. He saw Jessica looking at a man in front of him.

"Mr. Kim Jae Suk this is Mr. Donghae" said Yonghwa introduced Donghae to Kim Jae Suk.
Mr. Donghae smiled but suddenly his eyes caught Jessica's face.

After the meeting ended, Jessica was very cold and didn’t want looked at Donghae. She followed Mr. Kim Jae Suk and Jonghyun from behind, but she heard her name on the call.

"Jessica". Jessica's footsteps stopped but she didn’t want to turn her body, she stepped again.

"Jessica", he called again.

"What do you want?"

"Long time no see Jessica"

"Nice to meet you Donghae"

"Me too Jessica"

Jessica walked away left Donghae who still stood staring at her back.

Yoona stretched out her hand and then took her bag. Tonight she hoped would never see Jonghyun. Destiny, that word playing in her mind. Is it true the destiny made her met Jonghyun again?

"Yoona", called Hyoyoen. "Tonight you will come with me to the cafe with Jinwoon?"

"Hmm ...". Yoona didn’t directly answer it, but she needed a friend tonight. "Okay"

"I never thought I would see him again." Jessica took a sip of her drink and Jonghyun just shook his head.

"Who? Donghae?"

"Who else?"

"Why do you hate him Jessica?"

"He never loved me. He always thinking about his ex. I just the second in his heart." Jonghyun saw Jessica's eyes filled with tears. "I was like expecting something impossible"

"Really? Me too Jessica." His laugh was very bitter and made Jessica grinned to hear it.

"I think she still loves you. Don’t give up Jonghyun". She looked at him, her words are very sincere in his ear. Jessica is a good friend.

"She will never forgive me." Jonghyun’s eyes suddenly caught someone. "Yoona", he muttered quietly.

"Who?", Jessica asked when she heard his word.

"She's here"

"The woman you love?"

"De"

Jessica's eyes followed the direction of Jonghyun, she could see Yoona clearly . "She's beautiful"

"She always in my heart"

"Hng?". Jessica grinned hear Jonghyun’s speech. "You really love her." Then she saw Yoona again but her eyes widened in surprise. "Why is he here?"

"Who?", Jonghyun asked confused. He looked into Yoona and the man who intensely disliked by Jessica stood beside her.

Jonghyun followed Jessica from behind, he didn’t know he wanted to meet with her or not. He took her hand and Jessica directly facing Jonghyun.

"You want to avoid him?", He asked, looking for answer in her eyes. Her eyes couldn’t lie to Jonghyun. Disappointment began to read in her face.

"I don’t want to cry anymore"

"Really?"

Jessica silent and turned her face up and walking. They passed Donghae and Yoona. Suddenly Jessica's footsteps stopped. Jonghyun glanced sideways. Donghae called her name, Jessica was encouraged herself to see him.

"Hi Jessica," he said politely.

"Hi". Jessica's voice quivered.

"You come with your boyfriend?". Jessica's eyes narrowed because of that question, but for Yoona that question hit her heart, why she felt that thing?

Jessica didn’t answer it, doubt play in her mind. She didn’t want to answer it.

"Why are you so shy to introduce your boyfriend to me Jessica?". Donghae looked at Jessica and smiled. His smile was not the devil smile that she saw in a movie or drama, but a smile of a friend. Jessica wanted to be angry and yelled that Jonghyun was not her boyfriend, but she didn’t say anything.

"I must go home, sorry Donghae." Jessica smiled. Jonghyun could read the meaning of that smile.

"Oh, okay Jessica"

Jessica smiled at Yoona and Jonghyun just glanced at her. He didn’t talk much and just followed Jessica out from the café.

"I made a mistake". Jessica's voice opened the silence between them. Jonghyun car stopped in front of Jessica’s house.

"No Jessica." Jonghyun could feel the tension in Jessica's voice, but he tried to calm down.

"I have made Jonghyun. Yoona will definitely stay away from you". He breathed a heavy breath and reflected.

"I should be grateful to you, because I could see a change in her face", said Jonghyun and a small smile tugging at his lips.

"Really?". Jessica turned to see his eyes. She wanted to be sure, she didn’t want Jonghyun disappointed because of her.

"Yes, I can see it"

Yoona stopped in front of her apartment building, she looked around and her eyes landed into a car parked not far from her.

"I know it's you Jonghyun", she muttered quietly. She saw the car door open and her eyes glared in shock.

Jonghyun walked over and stood in front of her. He just stood staring at her and didn’t issue a word.

"What do you want Jonghyun?", she asked stammered. She was away from his eyes.

"I don’t know. I just want to meet you and say sorry. Forgive me for my mistake 3 years ago. I know you will never forgive me. But I have to try it. I just want you to know that if I don’t want to hurt anybody but Yoona I have to choose." He didn’t dare meet her eyes. And several times throwing his views in another direction.

"I'm sorry Jonghyun, I have to get into my apartment, I was very tired." She stammered said it and turned her body. But his hand reached her hand and she could feel their bodies close together. His breath blowing in her face and he let go his grasp.

"Sorry". He let go of his hand and turned his body. He walked away from Yoona, she didn’t know how many times he did it. Yoona looked at his back further away from her and her legs stiffed in her place. Why her heart was very sick when she heard the word "sorry" from him?

Note: Sorry for gramatical error