“Hello?” I asked nervously through the phone. Who can possibly have my number? I just bought the pay/min phone this morning. God please don’t tell me uncle Chen tracked me down already…please…I beg.

“Listen to me and don’t say anything. After I’m done talking, the phone will automatically self-destruct in about 10 seconds. I booked a room for you at the Westin Chosen hotel under the name Jennifer Lee. Your passport and ID’s are already at the post office and I left the key in Choi Subin’s suite.” There was a pause……I automatically knew it was Adam’s voice. Deep and husky, just like Seunghyun oppa’s.

Then he started to talk again “ …..and I just wanted to say that. I’m sorry for telling you off that day. I know your apology was sincere and I just wanted to let you know that I accept.” With that, he hung up the phone.

FLASHBACK:

“Uncle Chen made me an offer last night.”

I paused before turning away from my computer to look at him. Deep down I knew what he was going to say and I saw this coming. I didn’t want to hear him say what he was about to say and I just didn’t think it would happen so soon. That he would leave me just like that.

I looked at Adam and asked, “What’s your decision then?”

We stared at each other in silence; waiting for the other to break the silence. Something did change I thought. His once sparkling eyes filled with energy and compassion is now flooded by darkness and gloom. He looked like a mess in fact. He haven’t shaved for a few days; his once well groomed hair now looks like a tornado just went through it and his lips were dry. Somehow I wanted to run to him and pull him into a hug so that I can tell him how sorry I am for everything. Unfortunately the prideful side of me got the better of me.

“I already finished packing, just thought I say good-bye before I leave.” He muttered and with that he turned around and left without waiting for me to say good-bye.

I’m not sad, but shocked. Another piece of my life have just left me. Left me incomplete.

I threw the phone in the recycle bin and walked off to see haraboji, but in my mind I can’t help but doubt whether I should take Adam’s instructions. He used to work under me and I know I can trust him with my life, but ever since our incident….he went to Uncle Chen’s side. I hate to not be able to trust him but at the same time I knew I couldn’t. I can’t bring him into this too.

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I walked back to the sleeping haraboji. He looks so peaceful and at rest on the hospital bed. I pulled up a chair next to him and started to read Macbeth aloud. It was haraboji’s favorite play by Shakespeare because he felt bad for the weak Macbeth. He told me sometimes weakness isn’t just a flaw. It’s a reminder to those that are not as capable to not reach too far and create too much trouble. Macbeth was the mastermind behind his own demise. He got more than he asked for, but he was too weak to handle it all. Sometimes I wonder if I’m like Macbeth. I’m not as competent as Star, not as Smart as Adam, and not as agile as Seunghyun. I’m just me, just simple, innocent, Dao Mingxin.

I held onto Haraboji’s hand and asked him with tears in my eyes. Please wake up, even if it’s for a little while and I know that’s selfish to ask but I just need to know. I need to know the truth. The truth behind all the lies so I can save the people around me. People that I love so dearly and cannot bear to lose. I have only but this small request. Please fulfill it, I will be grateful till the day I die.

My train of thought was suddenly broken by a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” I asked while wiping my tears.

“Miss Choi, sorry to interrupt but it’s time for Mr. Choi’s daily checkup and IV change.” The nurse said.

“Um yes of course, it’s not a problem.” I replied.

“Then I’m going to have to ask you to leave for a little while, it’ll be really quick. Just wait outside.” She reminded me.

“Right, I’ll be outside if you need me.” I quietly said.

“Thank you.” She smiled.

Instead of waiting for the nurses to be done, I grabbed my bag and left. Yet as I walked towards the elevator; I couldn’t bring myself to leave haraboji by himself in his room. I looked back at the hallway I just walked here from and sighed. Today I won’t leave him alone. I’m going to stay by his side and keep him company.

“Ah, Miss Choi, you’re still here? I thought you had left already since you grabbed you bag when you left the room.” The nurse asked.

“Haha yea, I decided to stay because I figured that maybe if I’m by his side then he might just wake up. You know?” I replied.

She looked at me with a sympathetic face and said, “I know how it feels to have someone you love so dearly lay unconscious in front of you. There’s so much you want to do yet there isn’t any way for you to help him except to stay with him by his side. It gets tough on the families, I mean I’ve been working here for 8 years now and I see what goes on around here. Each day gets harder and harder to endure and eventually you stop hoping. I guess I just want to tell you that no matter what happens, we can only hope for the best. After all, life goes on doesn’t it?”

I suddenly felt speechless by her comment. I guess what she’s saying is true. Life goes on. There’s not much to do after we give it our all. We just have to move on from the past and keep on going with the future. I gave her a smile and thanked her before she walked away with her cart. I’ve lost so much already. I don’t think losing haraboji would make much of a difference, but he’s my last hope and my only hope. There is no one else in this world that I can go to except for him.