Escape by: Kpopfan3

Reviewer: Cherrylisa

Title-[3/5]
I got to admit that the title is quite eye-catching. Not really much, though as if it catches my attention once I looked at it, but the more I dwell on the title; it perks up my curiosity more. As I have first notice your title, it’s really good, I thought, but then the title is too common on the use. And when I looked on the title, also, I thought it would contain mild angst and a bit of drama even though it’s a one-shot.

Guess I was wrong. After all, the title ‘Escape’ is a twist title. It may be a bit fluff, cute, angst, sad, drama, melodrama and such. The title could have been better, you know. You emphasized the ‘Escape’ yes, but the feeling of yearning and justification of right and wrong is there. I’m just pleased to see that your title gave its contribution well to the story even though it’s a bit short. 

Design (Poster, font colour/style etc.)- [8/10]
The poster or should I say picture is okay. Well it did give out a great emphasis to the story, but it lacked the main points of design.
 Pictures
 Title
 Hue
 Blending
 Background
You’ve got the background for the poster, but lacked the others. The font is okay and your style of writing is fine, but would be nice if it would be more descriptive. Rather than that, the way how you tell the story is nice.
Foreword/Description (can they hook the reader in?)-[9/10]:
I got to admit that the description did catch my attention. It didn’t give out or throw out the whole plot away, but yeah you got what I mean there right? Even though it’ short and all, it really catches one’s attention yet may be a little disappointing when they read the plot.

Characters and Plot-[15/20]
The characters are vague. Yep, vague. I don’t know anything about them nor any personal background of them. All I know is that they crave for reality, escape and yearn for it every day and that they go to a place where they won’t be caught by reality that is cruel to them. Whispers, murmurs, annoying voices are the once that triggers their crave for escape to stand up and to correct their mistakes, am I right? So they crave for an escape. 

The plot…/sigh/ I wished it would be long and not this short. It would be great to see more words continuing it than short. Oh, right, the place…I’m thinking it is near the beach, or a meadow or something near the sunset. 
Simple and nice to read. 

Originality-[3/5]
Honestly, this story is unique. Yep, unique, because for a short story like this, you were able to turn Escape into a yearning that isn’t really a yearning but an order yet still crave because human’s nature. The originality of this story is 20/50. Really. The escape they craved for is a typical concept and idea of other author’s out there. 

But I liked how you develop the story and how you were able to cramp up the ‘escape’ into a short story when it needs a long one to justify it. 

Flow-[17/20]
The flow was okay for a short story like this but I really wished it could be longer; a bit longer than this. I bet it would be beautiful and the emotions would be delivered out very well. The emotions weren’t delivered out very well due to the flow of the story, but it did spread a little. 

Grammar/Spelling-[23/25]
Your spelling is fine; I don’t have a problem with it. It’s just that I noticed when you are going to use a conjunction; you separate it as if it is another phrase. Well, yeah, it is, but it will be long. Conjunction connects after all the independent and dependent clauses. I just noticed the yet, part. Yep, that’s only the problem you have. Your punctuations are in a good shape. Your words are easy to understand :) 

Overall Enjoyment-[5/5]
Even though it’s a bit short and all, I’m pleased to read your story. It was short yet poetic for me. Even though it’s likely off from being a poem, but the vibe it gives definitely comes from a poem. It’s short like drabble, but it’s not. So I was pleased to read your story, I also craved for an escape of my life in reality. And I could truly relate to the story. 

Bonus-[3/5]

You deserve a bonus ^^ It may be too short for others, but I really liked how you interpreted it. I really wanted it to be long since it would be nice and would be beautiful. Not that I’m saying the story is bad, it would be more beautiful. Yep.

Overall Grade-[86/100]= 86% or B+

Extra Comment: Cherry here ^^ Hello~ Hope you are satisfied with my review :) Thank you for requesting and hope you’ll come back again :D Also please remember to credit!~