Unforgettable/Memorized by: Christintran

Reviewer: Krissy_

Title: [4/5]

Firstly, the title. I always emphasize on how important titles are, but this is my personal opinion, don't worry, it did not affect your points in this section. I hope that upon sharing this opinion with you, it might help for future reference. If I were to read the title itself, sorry but won't perk up my interest. I was actually still wondering why did you seperate your title into two parts untill I read the content which I'll talk about it later. I understand that there are two endings, and I personally prefer the 'Unforgettable' one, because the ending does really link to the title and I applaud you for that. Something I'm discontent about is that I do not really enjoy writers seperating their title. I understand, it's your story, your choice.However, why not find a title with the same meaning for the two endings? I do have a title to recommend you, 'Voices Of Love'. Like I said, I did not mark you down because of my own preference instead I want you to give yourself room for improvement when coming to selection of titles.

Designs: [8/10]

I'm not austere when it comes to this section, it's the content that I care about. Let's talk about your writing style first because there's something I want to point out. Nothing's wrong with your font neither the format. It's your style, you'll have to tell yourself not to type in so many exclamation marks. And please, if possible, when 'Eun Mi' is writing, use Bold instead of CAPSLOCK. When you use CAPSLOCK, it seems that she's shouting when in reality, she's not. Let me take an example out for you: You shrugged and wrote "Whatever." on the pad of papers you always keep around you. Realize how I changed your tenses too? I'll talk more about it in that section. Moving to your background and poster, I've nothing much to comment, I love one of the chapter banner, you should put that as the overall banner for all chapter. Overall, your designs and other things are still acceptable.

Forewords/Descriptions: [6/10]

Here's when mistakes come in. In your description, I'm elated with your first sentence, "Can a mute girl and a cute and handsome boy work out together?". Though it did reveal a little of the plot but it's enough to draw the readers attention. You should stop there but you continued adding the characters personalities, it's not that I'm forbidding you to do that but I would recommend you to describe them in the chapters instead of telling straight to the readers. So, you'll open up their imagination and leave them wondering. Regarding the foreword, it's perfect, I'll encourage other readers out there to take yours as an example to follow.

Characters and Plot: [17/20]

Initially, your points in this section was pulled down by the characters part but I really enjoyed reading your plot. Like I said, you should heed my advice on what I said in the forewords/descriptions section and your story might get better. I like the idea of how you put Eun Mi as a mute and how she and Baro started off as enemies, then they slowly progress. It's realistic and of course not forgetting your ending for 'Unforgettable'. You proved to others that love can be shown through silence.

Originality: [4/5]

Although I have read this type of fanfiction before, but I've yet to have come across such an incomparable plot twist. Good one, Christin!

Flow: [14/20]

​It's a little bit too fast. Consider adding more lovey dovey scene in some chapters.

Grammer/Spelling: [15/25]

​I apologize for giving you low marks for this but as a reviewer, I've to be honest in order to help you improve. This has been told by many authors, when writing story, you're advise to write in past tense. Let's take an example from your story and let me change it again. Here's the changes I made: "Your mom dropped you off at school and your best friend came rushing up to you." I can't post all the examples here as it'll take up lots of space but try to change everything to past tense unless the 'present past tense rule' is applied. Okay, I spotted a few internet slang which you must refrain from using, like in chapter 1, Eun Hee said 'OMG' instead of spelling everything out. It's a bad habit to use short form. If you need help to edit out some more examples, feel free to ask, I'm more than willing to help you out.

Overall Enjoyment: [3/5]

I'm entertained by this romance story, I regretted not finding this story beforehand so that I could request for a sequel to 'Unforgettable'. But it's okay, your 'Memorized' left me a good impression too. With more experience, I believe that you'll be a better writer. 

Bonus Points: [3/5]

Hi, Christin! Do you remember me? I was one of your customers in your one-shot shop and once again I would like to thank you for the awesome storyline. And also, I would like to thank you for requesting here for a review! I hope that you'll be happy with this feedback and not feel offended if I'm too harsh/straightforward. I apologize again if I did offend you with my comments but really I've no intention of bashing anyone. My job's here is to help you and strengthen your dedication for writing. I believe with more practice, you'll create a fantastic story that will impress every reader. Keep up the awesome work and never give up, Christin! Fighting!

Overall grade: 74 out of 100 ; 74% or C-

author's note