Silent Night by: GreenGardenPop

Reviewer: Misspanda15

Title: [4/5]

Titles are very important in a story, for the reason of giving an impression on the possible reader. If a title has the right words then that's enough to let the reader know what kind of the story lies ahead. For me, I assumed the title was angsty or maybe even a little supernatural or horror, but my hunch was correct needless to say. For that, your title has done it's job in hooking in a reader, and served it's purpose. I marked a point down, due to the fact that Silent Night is a common name for stories, and most people use it in a different genre. 

Designs: [9/10]

For your designs, I do like the poster and background. It matches well with the story. It's not to bright and colorful misleading the reader, and it's not too dark making it seem like a horror story or tragedy story. For your story font and colors, I loved. Many people just change their fonts and that's it, but you have the whole chapter in this colored box. Most people say they hate having authors do that, making it look like it's a roleplay or giveaway, but to me, It made me like it even more. Some say it's too much, and it distracts people. It's true, so be careful on the colors you choose, but in your case you chose mellow and dark colors that suit your story. 

Forewords/Descriptions: [7/10]

To put it short, your description and foreward were short, but enough to catch some readers attention. Specifically talking about my attention, I didn't think much of it. As I read through both sections, nothing seemed to spark up my interest. I did feel curious after the line 'He was alone. Sleeping during the day, and wandering aimlessly at night, he had no one...until he met her.' After reading this, it did make me want to know what happens, but rereading it again, I thought it might be a little to cliche for me, and I wouldn't go on. Don't be fooled by my opinion though. Your description and foreward are enough to hook in dozens of readers, if the readers like it. It just depends the persons reference really.

Characters and Plot: [15/20]

First off, I reall like how you used an uncommon couple. I mean, from what I see, I haven't see or read any Baekyeon or Myungyeon fanfics yet. It's really unique seeing that coming from your story. As the plot goes, I didn't reall understand what the main problem was besides the odd love triangle that's begining to develop over time, and the forbidden frienship/love type of story. It reminds of Romeo and Juliet, if you might say, excluding the third party in your story. For the characters developing, I find some of them developed too fast in the middle, but they stayed at a regular pace once the other characters caught up. I'll go back to plot now, and I might have to add that this is a very interesting plot. I mean, it seems rather cliche for having a forbidden love triangle, and how the parents interfere in their affairs, but the way you wrote it made it seem like it was all in a class of it's own. 

Originality: [3/5]

As I said before, this plot is used in many, many fanfictions which is why I gave you the score I have, but keep in mind that I did enjoy it far more than most stories I have read with the similar idea and or plot.

Flow: [16/20]

The flow in this story was particulary at the right speed in the begining, but as the story advanced around the middle, I felt that some parts of the chapters were dragging or filler chapters.The chapters were great, but I felt as if the plot's speed was slowing down by every chapter, but towards the end it rushed back to it's normal speed, which surprised me, but nevertheless I was entertained either way. 

Grammer/Spelling: [22/25]

In this specific category, I am what most people refer to as a, 'grammar nazi' and I tend to complain about the smallest details. As a reader myself, it irritates me when I see authors make small mistakes that could have been fixed if they reread the chapter, and edited before posting it. In your case, you said English isn't your first language, and truthfully I was expecting multiple errors, but you just blew me away. I scanned the chapters hoping I would find something to correct, but it was spotless until I really looked. The only thing I do have to complain about is that you did miss some comma's and some misspellings in some of you chapters, but they weren't really noticable. I tend to focus more on the punctuation more on spelling, so I marked you down because I saw that you were missing or overusing commas. When Baekhyun says, 'Dreaming of me,' I assumed that you meant, 'Dream of me', correct? Another example of one of your very few errors was when Baekhyun mentions him being erted. The line goes, 'I am not a ert guy.' If you were to use this sentence, I suggest you add the suffix of 'ed' towards the end making it, 'I am not a erted guy.' I also noticed that instead of using compound words, you chose to use them in sperate words such as I am, and you are. Maybe it's just me, but I felt as if I was reading a shakespear type of play if you might say. They way you worded the scenes and diaglouges were very unique, which is quite rare if you scan through the fanfics on this site. 

Overall Enjoyment: [3/5]

I enjoyed this story, but it was challenging for me to actually get into the story, and have interst in it. I do, however, might add that you have great precison and word choice, which I adore greatly. 

Bonus Points: [2/5]

Bonus points for having a unique style in writing, font/chapter layout, and characters. Keep up the good work, I hope to see you improve, and see you on the featured box in the future. 

Overall grade: 81 out of 100 ; 81% or B-

author's note