The sun was high.

Shinning brightly against the clouds, in complete magnificence.

The birds are flying.

Chirping and whistling happily against the morning light.

The children are running around.

Laughing and smilling together, without a single anxiety about the world.

It was a beautiful day and it was a peaceful morning.

Everything, was calming.

But why...do I feel this way ?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Splash*

'!'

Ryeowook cursed quietly to himself. He had fallen into the water all thanks to his clumsy feet. He grabbed a hold of one of the big rocks near river and lifted himself up. After that, he quickly went to his bagpack to take out his towel and dry off. He was lucky that the current wasn't so strong or he would have been in a huge trouble. Who knew what could have happened. He sighed to himself.

When he was sure to dry off every single part of his body and changed his into his second set of clothing that he had brought along, Ryeowook sat on the grass while leaning against a tree. His eyes were fixed towards the sky. What a day it had been for him yesterday. His schedule were so full that he barely even had any time to rest. He had to run everywhere for this and that it was just ridiculous. He was so tired that he ended up losing his energy and got all wobbly while walking near the river earlier which caused him to fall. Sometimes, he wondered to himself, whether it was worth it.

Being famous and all, was it that worth it?

Ryeowook continued to look at the sky, lost in his own thoughts. His heart was heavy and his head was spinning. He knew very well why. It had been one month since he started coming down to this river. It had been one month since he started losing himself. It had been one month since everything started to turn into a mess. AND it had been one month since he started to feel like everything around him was falling apart. No. In fact, He, was falling apart. He was desperate and he needed a place where he could be all by himself and not care about the world. He needed an escape and he needed a gateway.

AND so this river was the perfect paradise for him.

The sound of his handphone ringing immediately brought him back to the real world. He reached down his hand and grabbed a hold of the device.

'Hello?' 

'Hello ?'

'Ryeowook, where are you??'

It was Leeteuk. Ryeowook found himself sighing heavily.

'I do not need this right now.' He then thought to himself.

'Please come home.'

'Let's talk.'

'I don't feel like to hyung.' 

'I'll go back later.' Painful.

'Ryeowook, what's going on with you lately?'

'Why are you always running off somewhere all by yourself?'

'We need to talk so come home.'

'Hyung please, I..I just need sometime alone to myself right now.' 

'I promise I'll go home before midnight. Okay?' Desperate.

'Wookie...talk to hyung....'

'What happened was not your fault.'

'No one is blaming you for it.'

'I know hyung...'

'I'm okay...I'm just having some time to myself, that's all.' Suffocating.

'Wookie....'

'Hyung I gotta go bye.' Not okay.

'Wook Wai-'

Ryeowook placed his phone back into his bagpack and sighed heavily. He looked down at the grass and before he knew it, tears started to form in his eyes. He was not mad about yesterday. He knew it wasn't his fault. Him messing up a routine is not really that big of a deal compared to what he was dealing with at the moment. AND thou, Leeteuk and the others seemed to worry about him putting too much thoughts into what had happened, in all honesty, he didn't even care about it.

He didn't even bothered.

He just, didn't have the time to.

Because it was not important.

Because it was just nothing.

AND because he was already desperate and because he was already in a mess.

Heavy heart, haunting thoughts, painful things.

He was already suffocating.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, I finally decided to post this story since some of you have been anticipating it ;)

(A short first chapter)

Thanks for reading and subscribing.

Do leave a comment!

Much love,

Haruhi.