Kyuhyun     

     The day had started off just like any other.  I had awoken with a start as Ryeowook gently prodded my shoulder. 

     "Kyu, it's time to get up.  Breakfast is ready and we have schedules," Ryeowook said quietly.  That was smart of him.  I was definitely not a morning person and waking me outright was like waking a hungry bear.  Not smart, even I admit that.

     "Yah, I'll be up in a minute, just stop poking me," I grumbled a reply, voice still gruff from the throes of slumber.

     "You say that every morning," Ryeowook chuckled, leaning back on his haunches.

     "I mean it today," I groaned, settling myself back into my blankets.

     "Sure Kyuhyun," he laughed.  His knee popped as he stood and walked toward the door.  "I'll give you 10 minutes, then I'm sending Heechul-hyung in after you."

     "You wouldn't dare," I mumbled, only seconds after realizing that Ryeowook had already left.  I sighed; it was too early to even attempt to be productive.  Not that I had much of a choice though.  With another sigh I raised my body into a sitting position and rubbed at my eyes wearily.  Would it kill SM to schedule me at a reasonable time?  Or, even better, not have me wake up early after keeping me up late the night before?

     Looking around my room I noticed Kibum wasn't in his bed, so Ryeowook must have woken me up last.  I smiled a bit at that; Ryeowook was a good friend to let me sleep in, even if it was only an extra few minutes.  I ran my fingers through my hair quickly to dispel any bed-head I might have had before getting up with a groan.  I was seriously enjoying this 'having a bed' thing.

     The dull rumble of voices from outside my door grew louder as I stepped into the hall and joined the others in the kitchen.  I grabbed the bowl of steam-cooked eggs and rice Ryeowook had set aside for me on the kitchen counter before joining the others to eat in the living room.

     "Kyuhyun, your schedule is taped to the fridge."  Leeteuk informed me, glancing quickly away from his bowl to do so. 

     "Thank you, hyung-nim," I replied respectfully.  Even though I'd been working with him for almost a year I still wasn't entirely comfortable being near him.  Of course, that could be because he wasn't exactly the nicest or most welcoming when I'd first joined, but still.  Either way, I could tell he was still a bit uncomfortable with me as well so it was awkward on both sides.

     I walked toward the fridge with my bowl still in hand and nearly groaned when I saw the size of the paper taped up.

Cho Kyuhyun:

7:40 - 8:00        Transportation

8:00 - 11:30      Free Practice (Dance)

11:30 - 12:00    Lunch

12:00 - 3:00     K.R.Y. Practice

3:00 - 3:20       Transportation

3:20 - 4:40       Dinner

4:40 - 5:00      Transportation

5:00 - 8:30      S.J. Dance Practice

8:30 - 8:50      Transportation

9:00 - 12:30    K.T.R. Broadcast

12:30 - 1:00    Transportation

     I restrained myself from banging my head off the fridge right there.  Another full day of schedules until the early morning, great.  They couldn't give me a single easy day after officially debuting, could they? 

     I glanced over at the clock on the microwave and sighed.  It was already seven and I hadn't done a single thing to get ready.  Knowing that they'd scheduled me for free practice with a focus on choreography yet again I'd have to pack extra clothes too.  I knew I wasn't the greatest dancer but I think they were too concerned with it.  I looked a bit awkward, yes, but I didn't look out of place or anything.  Besides, they always had me dancing in the back.

     I waved goodbye to Ryeowook, Siwon, Donghae and Leeteuk who were headed for some time at the gym.  Laying my head against the cool surface of the fridge I debated whether I should just nap on my free practice or actually try and improve. 

     "Wow, you've got a busy day," Eunhyuk commented beside me.  I glanced over at his schedule and had to hold back a laugh.

     "You have vocal practice for three hours!"  The look of indignation he gave me made me lose all self control.  He just glared at me as I laughed.

     "Hey, don't forget you've been scheduled for three hours of practice for your dancing."  At my huff of annoyance he cracked a smile and shoved my shoulder affectionately.  I shoved him back and looked back at his schedule.  An idea popped into my head and I smiled evilly.

     "Eunhyukkie, hyung?" I started.  He looked slightly taken aback by my sudden change but brushed it off.

     "Kyuhyunnie, dongsaeng?" he teased.

     "You do know our practice schedules overlap, right?"  I tried to make myself sound cuter, more like Ryeowook or Sungmin who could get what they wanted with only a single glance.  He didn't seem to notice and looked down at my recorded schedule, then his.  Finally, he looked back up to me with confusion clear in his eyes.

     "Your point?" 

     I internally sighed.

     "We should help each other out a bit, don't you think?"  I smirked.  "After all, you are the best dancer and I'm the best singer.  We should be able to help each other improve more than working alone would, right?"

     "Sure, I guess."

     I finished eating and got dressed in some baggy track pants and a thin t-shirt, packing an extra few shirts in case I managed to sweat through them during dance practice.  After washing everyone's dishes quickly and haphazardly stacking them away, I was herded into the company van with Eunhyuk.  We quickly found a practice room upon arriving at the SM building.  That was where I put my plan into action.  And, after an interesting hour and a half, Eunhyuk had enough.

     "Kyuhyun, you're a jerk, you know that?"  He cursed angrily, sweat streaming from his face. 

     "I may be a jerk, but you've improved leaps and bounds because of me."  He slapped my shoulder in retaliation but I could only laugh.  We had spent the last hour and a half working on his vocals with me as his teacher.  I can honestly say it was one of the most frustrating but fun things I've ever done.  It was amusing to .

     "Oh, my time's up for vocal practice.  Looks like its time to work on your dancing."  He smiled menacingly at me.  I gulped; being too preoccupied in my scheme of making fun of Eunhyuk I had forgotten his love for revenge.  I was going down.

     Needless to say, I barely survived the next hour and a half of unadulterated hell with Eunhyuk as my dance instructor.  However, I have to grudgingly admit I did improve a tiny bit after that lesson.

     After a quick lunch of kimchi-fried rice I grudgingly made my way to another practice room where Yesung and Ryeowook were already warming up.  I bowed at the neck in greeting and joined them in practice.  I would never say it to him, but I admired Yesung hyung's voice and attitude toward singing.  Ryeowook and I, we tended to take it easy.  Sure, we worked our butts off to make the best possible sound, but Yesung was different.  Yesung put his everything into every note of his songs, no matter if it was practice or a performance.  Even though we still weren't exactly friendly with each other I loved practicing with him.  Just listening to him sing inspired me to better my own voice, to be able to be as comfortable and as vocally transparent as he was.

     Ryeowook, on the other hand, was off that day.  It wasn't as though he wasn't hitting the notes, because he was, it just felt wrong.  Almost like he didn't know what he was doing but was going along with it anyway.

     Two hours of practice sped by faster than I'd realized.   We were just restarting "It's Just That", a recent OST we had done, when the door to the practice room opened revealing one of our vocal teachers.

     "Ryeowook, can I see you for a moment?"  He asked.  Ryeowook looked confused but nodded and silently followed the teacher out of the room.  Yesung and I sat there in awkward silence waiting for him to return.

     Half an hour passed without our third member rejoining us.  After a few more minutes we mutually decided it was useless to continue waiting and practiced as much as we could with just the two of us.

     I walked into the dorm for supper and saw Kibum glancing up at me warily from where he was perched on the couch playing a video game with Donghae.  The two of them had a fairly easy day today so I thought I'd see them relaxed, but that wasn't the case.

     "Wookie's got it in for you, Kyu."  Kibum said quietly, eyes scanning the hall where our bedrooms were located before returning his gaze back to me.

     "What do you mean?"  Before he could answer me a call came from down the hall and Donghae unconsciously flinched.

     "Kyuhyun, come in here."  Kibum spared me a look of pity before returning his attention to their game.  I was confused, why did he skip out on the rest of practice just to come to the dorms?  What was he angry about?  I walked over to our room and glanced at him.  His hands were on his slender hips and his eyebrows were furrowed.

     "Yes?"  I questioned, a bit nervous at that point.

     "Why does our room look like this yet again?"  I almost laughed with nervous relief.  That was it?  He was upset because I had left some clothes out?  He clearly saw the smile working it's way past my lips and interrupted with a growl of "You think this is funny?"

     I was taken aback.  Ryeowook hardly ever got mad, especially over something so little.  He was perfectly fine earlier during practice.

     "What's with you?"  I asked seriously.  What was getting him to act this way?

     "I'm tired of putting up with this.  Your stuff is always thrown everywhere, you never properly clean the kitchen in the mornings, and you just wait for me to come tidy up after you.  We share a room, Kyuhyun, which means we share the responsibility of cleaning it up.  I'm not your maid."

     "Okay, why don't we take turns cleaning then," I said without really thinking.  The fire in Ryeowook's eyes grew to a blazing inferno and I knew I'd made a mistake. 

     "Oh?" His voice dripped with venom.  I had never, in my entire time in Super Junior, seen him pissed off this much.  It was almost scary.

     "I mean.. sharing the cleaning responsibility would put less burden on the both of us.  Right?"  I tried to rectify the situation, but he wasn't having it.  I cursed myself for angering him further, but I was also getting fairly pissed at him too.  It was just clothes and dishes, why was that such a huge problem to him?

     "Because cooking for all the other members isn't already a burden.  Because cleaning up after everyone leaves and still trying to get ready for my schedules isn't a burden."  His fiery gaze never deviated from my wide eyes as he spoke.  Then I said the stupidest thing I possibly could have in that moment.

     "Then just don't do it if it's such a burden to you.  I'm sure we could manage."  I had seemingly, in that instant, forgotten Ryeowook's joy in life; he loved pampering us with food more than almost anything else in the world, other than singing.  By saying that, especially in the cold tone I used, I was essentially saying he wasn't necessary and that we could live without him.  He didn't like that.

     "Oh you could, could you?  Well I'm glad you think so highly of me to not want me doing a single thing for you anymore.  Well congratulations Kyuhyun, you now have the honour of cooking everyone's meals and snacks.  Oh, and while we're at it, you can actually start doing your own laundry instead of pawning it off on me."

     "How is this fair?"  I finally exploded.  "I make one mistake, just one, and you're attacking me like I just burned down your kitchen.  I left my clothes out, so what?  I didn't clean the kitchen to your expectations, so what?  Not everything in this house revolves around you.  If you left right now someone else would pick up the slack.  Hankyung and Kangin hyung can cook, it isn't difficult to clean."

     "Oh, but you wouldn't lift a finger, would you Kyuhyun.  You'd watch the hyungs struggle without a word."

     "As if," I retorted.

     "Isn't that what you do now?  Don't you let me do all the work?  Am I not your hyung?"  he shot back.  I clenched my fist in anger and refrained myself from escalating this into something physical.

     "Am I not your dongsaeng and maknae?" I spit.  "I'm sorry for taking some time to myself once in a while because I'm tired.  I'm sorry for rushing to get the cleaning done so I don't get yelled at by everyone for being late.  I'm sorry for being such a pain to you."

     "Oh, you're sorry.  Well sorry doesn't make up for the mess in the kitchen I had to clean after two hours at the gym, a two hour vocal practice, and an hour of being harassed by company officials for my voice not being up to their expectations.  Oh, and after I finished cleaning up what you were supposed to, I come in here to relax and find this mess."

     "So you're taking your anger out on me?  Very mature Ryeowook."  He took a step closer, his eyebrow twitching in barely restrained fury, before someone stepped between us.

     "That's enough you two.  Ryeowook, you go into my room.  Kyuhyun, you stay here.  We'll discuss this as the mature adults we all are as soon as you two calm down."  Leeteuk stated evenly and lead Ryeowook out the door.  Just as he was leaving he turned back to me and said "Kyuhyun, pick up your clothes."

     I growled and picked up a dirty shirt before throwing towards him only to catch the door as it closed.  I huffed and began to pick up my dirty clothes and toss them into a pile in the corner.  If he wanted me to clean so bad he'd get a spotless room.  That's what he wanted so badly, wasn't it?  I angrily scrubbed the floors, erased every single wrinkle from my bed, and opened the window to let the chilled spring air inside. 

     "Kyu-ah, are you going to-"  Sungmin interrupted, popping his head through a crack in the door, but cut himself off when he saw my glare.  "Uhm.. never mind." He slowly backed out of the room and closed the door.  Seeing him that taken aback by my gaze alone helped anchor me.  I sighed as I sat on my perfectly made bed and lay my head in my hands.  I needed to calm down. 

     "Kyuhyun, the managers are here to drive us to practice."  Kangin called, opening my door to see me sulking on my bed.  He placed a hand on my shoulder and I looked up, confused.  "Ryeowook is just having an off day.  Just give him a bit to cool down and he'll probably apologize first."

     "Uhm, thanks?"  I was flustered by the fact that Kangin, the scariest hyung, was suddenly acting nice to me.  I'd rarely seen him like this.

     "You really should start cleaning more often though.  You are the maknae after all."  There it was.  I shot him a glare and he chuckled.  "Get ready," he said again before leaving.  I could only sigh after him.

     The ride over and subsequent dance practice was awkward, to say the least.  Ryeowook and I didn't dare look at each other and the others were clearly affected by the negative aura surrounding the two of us.  I was almost glad to be heading off to the radio station after practice if only to be separated from him for a while, but Leeteuk was going to be there still.  I knew he was still a little miffed about me and Ryeowook's argument and I wasn't quite ready to laugh and joke with him on broadcast.

     Thankfully, Eunhyuk managed to lift my mood and, by the time we left the building, I was in a much better mood than I had been in previously.  I gripped his arm and laughed as he playfully tried to shove me away.  Shindong was known to be the mood maker, but Eunhyuk was certainly a close second.

     "Well, I don't know about you but I'm ready for a good night's sleep," Eunhyuk whined tiredly.  I just chuckled and rubbed at my own tired eyes.  A good night's sleep sounded amazing.  Eight straight hours of sleep, though, was practically a miracle when you got into the entertainment industry.

     "You first," I said, gesturing to Leeteuk and Shindong who trailed behind us.  They nodded gratefully and climbed into the back of the van.  I followed, sticking my tongue out at Eunhyuk, before settling myself down in the seat directly behind the driver. 

     "If you fall asleep I'm not carrying you in,"  Eunhyuk mumbled.  I laughed weakly and lay my head on his lap beside me.  Even though I thought he would, he didn't complain.  I my MP3 player and allowed myself to relax from a long and frustrating day.  When I got back to the dorm I'd have to wake up Ryeowook and apologize for everything.  I hated having all this negativity around the two of us.

     I was almost asleep when I felt Eunhyuk shift from underneath me.  Then he shifted again.  I was about to open my eyes and tell him that, even if he didn't want to carry me in, he should let me sleep, but then everything went wrong.  Even though I was listening to some Chopin symphony composition I still heard the loud bang outside the car. 

     I felt my heart race and, all of a sudden, we were spinning.  Somehow, I was weightless;  nothing was holding me to Earth.  I felt an unimaginable pain like I'd never experienced before, then...darkness.

     I must have regained consciousness a few minutes later because, with some difficulty, I was able to open my eyes.  The van was laying on its side quite far away from where I was.  I saw flashes of light and heard the distant mumble of voices that I faintly realized  must have been reporters.  But no one was coming to me.

     I tried to open my mouth and speak, but no sound would come out.  Frustrated, I tried to scream but silence was all I received in return.  Deciding to switch tactics, I struggled to prop myself up and instantly regretted it.  Black spots clouded my vision and a searing pain shot straight through my chest and echoed through my body. 

     I don't know exactly what had happened, but all of a sudden I saw my childhood.  I had somehow gone back to my elementary school and was seated behind my best friend of 6 years, Park Woohyun.  He looked back at me and smiled kindly before turning back to the teacher's lesson.

     Suddenly the vision changed and I was about thirteen, on vacation with my family.  They had decided we should go on a nice outing instead of staying around town so they took me and Ahra to Mokpo.  I could see the waves as they caressed the sand up on the beach and the smile on my sister's face as she playfully pushed me into the freezing water.

     Then I was onstage, a different kind of sea coming to life in front of me.  I was so nervous of messing up; I didn't want the fans to think even more badly of me.  They already didn't want me there.  But, as U finished and we gave our final cheer, I didn't feel nervous anymore.  The sapphire blue sea pulsing and waving in front of me was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.  It was something that would follow me to my grave, I'm sure.

     "Kyuhyun, are you okay.  Please, please be okay."  A voice from above me sounded.  Eunhyuk?  Was this another memory inside a dream?  I didn't remember Eunhyuk sounding this panicked, especially about me.  Was this after Donghae's dad's death?  I opened my eyes and realized I had been alone.  Why had I been alone in this place?

     "Hyung, you came.  I thought I was alone." I surprised to find my voice much fainter and gruff than it usually was.  Had I indeed just woken up?

     "Of course I'd come, idiot.  Of course I would.  I wouldn't dare leave you alone."  When I saw he was crying I was confused.  Why would he be crying?  I was fine, wasn't I?  I mean, yeah, everything felt a little fuzzy and unreal, but I felt okay.

     "Don't cry.  There's no reason to cry.  Everything's perfect, Hyukkie; every little thing is perfect," I said weakly.  It took me another few breaths and the sudden reoccurrence of pain for it to hit me.  The van was on its side in the distance, I was laying on the cold pavement, and Eunhyuk had small cuts over his face and arms.  My life had flashed before my eyes and my body felt woozier every passing second.  "I don't want to die," I whispered after a second, my emotions clearly seeping into the words.

     "You won't die Kyu.  I won't let you die.  I won't," I heard as I bunched my hands up to pray. 

     "I've done so much wrong.  I've wronged so many people." I forced out, my breath becoming harder and harder to take in and expel.  My peripheral vision started blurring and I knew I wasn't going to make it.  I had hurt Ryeowook badly in that argument and now I couldn't even apologize or make up for it.  I'd die without saying goodbye, without telling him he was my best friend, without him knowing I loved him.

     "No, no you haven't.  You've inspired so many people.  You've made so many lives better.  I don't know where we'd be without you."  I felt my strength fading with my blood onto the rough pavement and knew I wouldn't have much time left to make amends.

     "Tell.. tell Wookie I'm sorry."  I whispered, but it was barely audible.  Somehow, though, Eunhyuk managed to hear me.

     "You can tell him yourself, you're going to be okay," I know he was trying to keep it together and I felt bad for making him feel this way.  I didn't want the last thing I saw to be him crying over me.

     "I'm sorry."

     "Don't be.  Don't apologize.  Please, please just hold on a little longer.  The paramedics will be here soon and they'll fix you right up."  His voice was growing fainter with every passing second and my eyes refused to stay open no matter how hard I tried.  I needed to let him know.. "No, don't sleep Kyu.  Don't sleep!"

     "I love you Hyukkie.  Tell everyone I love them."  I mumbled, managing to open one eye just enough so that I could look at him.  I needed him to know; I needed them to know.  I didn't blame them for what they did to me when I was a new addition.  I loved every single one of them despite all that because they helped me reach my dreams and, along the way, began to support me in their own unique ways.

     "I love you too."  I'm not sure if he actually said it, but I couldn't help but use the last bit of energy I had to smile at him.  He deserved that much.  My tired eyes finally slipped closed and my body succumbed to numbness.

      At least, it did until I felt a harsh pain explode through my chest.  I would have screamed but I didn't have the energy.  An itch on my face alerted me to a portable oxygen mask just as another breath was pushed into my aching lungs.  I felt my back arch in utter agony and I groaned deep in my throat before the pain finally pushed me into the welcoming darkness.

Hey guys.  I know this chapter may not be the best thing ever but, from what I've written, the next two chapters are going to be amazing.  I'll update when I can.

Thanks for reading!