*evilmagnae91  | Miss Straight A' s VS Mr. (Not So) Perfect 

   Title   

Your title is catchy but it's far too long. You may want to change it to something else? 

Some titles we have thought of would be "Mismatch" or maybe even "Polar Opposites" and etc. Do note that it's just a suggestion though so you don't have to take us seriously. (:

  Foreword/Description  

Nice description seeing you started it off with their thought processes. There are some minor tenses mistakes, so do check it again.

When Seohyun, the beauty with brain.......

When Seohyun, the beauty with brains......

As for Yonghwa, let just say....

As for Yonghwa, let's just say...

You should have a short foreword instead of an author's note to briefly introduce your story and let your readers know your writing style. After doing this, you can then put your author's note underneath it.

  Plot  

It was honestly a cliche plot whereby good girl meets bad boy but yours was a little different. The way you described your story had us believing that  your story is more than an overused plot and it keeps us on our toes as well. There were cliffhangers here and there but this was good because we can tell that you want to have your readers crave and anticipate the next chapter. There were not too much POVs going on so it's good in a sense that we don't have much confusion while we read through your story.

    Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation   

(Chapter One)

"I muttered to myself as I started to find a seat for me and Jinwoon."

"I muttered to myself as I started to find a seat for Jinwoon and me."

"Most of the seats at the front are either occupied or already reserved by the students who came....."

"Most of the seats at the front were either occupied or already reserved by the students who came....."

"Then, I glance at my pink wrist watch to check at the time."

"Then, I glanced at my pink wrist watch to check the time."

(We read through the whole chapter but we realize that your tenses are all over the place. Are you writing in present tense or in past tense? Do make a choice and stick with it throughout your story since it can get confusing most of the time. After you have make the changes to your tenses, you may want to PM us again so that we can look through it and correct some of the mistakes that you might missed.)

  Character Development  

Seohyun seems really different when she is with Yonghwa and Jinwoon. That's good because we can have a comparison on how she feels towards the both of them and how each guy seems to be in her eyes.

We liked the one sided jealousy that Yonghwa had towards Jinwoon; it's cute and it shows us that Yonghwa really likes Seohyun. 

We are really curious about Jinwoon's role in this story. We think it will be interesting if you do a Jinwoon's POV.

  Flow  

Awkward phrasings are seen so the flow wasn't too smooth. Also, we have discovered that you are too descriptive in your writing. It's good to be descriptive but too much can be boring and it can turn choppy as well.

Example:

Today I woke up at ten. I switched off my alarm clock and got off the bed. I went to the toilet and took a toothbrush while putting the toothpaste over it...

Do you sense how robotic/choppy it feels? A better way to describe might be...

I woke up in the early morning today and went straight to the toilet to have my morning bath.

It feels so much shorter and has a better flow, right?

So do take note of this point and you might want to change it if you're comfortable with our suggestion :)

  Ending 

Since you have yet to complete the story, we can't say much on this segment. Do not hesitate to come to us once you managed to complete your story. ^^

  Additional Comments 

We really like this story because it features one of our favorite pairings. Anyway, do take note  of what we have stated so far. All the best in your writing! Don't hesitate to come to us should you need further comments! ~