*LynZy_G  |  I Love You Too Late    

   Title   

Your title catches our attention! It also makes a reader curious to actually click on your story.

  Foreword/Description  

Nice description that you' ve got there. 

Foreword is too long. The definition of foreword is a short introduction to the story so instead of putting their personality and their life story there, you can do a short chapter like the wedding of the OCxSiwon or maybe even how they meet. 

  Plot  

There were a lot of things happening at one go and sometimes it can be confusing for the readers due to the changing of POV. However, we really like how you let us know what each character is thinking. It was nice on how you build up the different events like when He Ran was leaving Siwon and the wedding scenes because it allow us to understand how the story is progressing as a whole.

    Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation   

(Chapter One)

" Oppa! Always remember that for me their is only YOU. Fighting! "

" Oppa! Always remember that for me there is only YOU. Fighting!"

(Chapter Two)

" Siwon shook his head and beamed that gorgeous smile of him as he said"

" Siwon shook his head and beamed that gorgeous smile of his as he said"

" It took you by surprise, you scratch the back of your head and said "Thanks!..."

"It took you by surprise, you scratched the back of your head and said, "Thanks! "

(Do take note of your tenses usage. If you are using past tense then do continue to use past tense, so always do a quick check before you upload a new chapter!)

" eventhough both of you were just briefly introduced..."

" even though both of you were just briefly introduced..."

(Do check so that there won't be any simple mistake like the above.)

(Chapter 3)

" Donghae giddily hum a "Yes" then chuckling lightly."

" Donghae giddily hummed a "Yes" before chuckling lightly. "

"Ha Na!" My good friend Ailee is running to my direction, I walk forward to meet her and said "Hi..."

"Ha Na!" My good friend Ailee was running to my direction and I walked forward to meet her. "Hi..."

(Chapter 5)

You were really cracking you're brain to come up with something funny, when you're stomach suddenly growl.

You were really cracking your brain to come up with something funny, when your stomach suddenly growl.

(Just something to note: "You're" actually means "you are" whereas, "your" shows that something belongs to you or is related to you.)

(Chapter 6)

She whaled loudly and violently threw the things around her, she shouted "Wae?!! Oppa! You're my dream; I'm tying so hard for you! Wae?!!"

She wailed loudly and while violently throwing the things around her, she shouted, "Wae?!! Oppa! You're my dream; I'm tying so hard for you! Wae?!!"

(Just a heads up; whenever you have a dialogue, you have to start a new paragraph as shown above.)

The graduation ceremony was successful and everybody are now gathered outside of the hall, some are chatting about their future plans with friends or parents while the others are taking pictures.

The graduation ceremony was successful and everybody were now gathered outside of the hall; some were chatting about their future plans with friends or parents while the others were taking pictures.

(We didn't point out all of your mistakes here because most of them are repetitive, so do take note and make sure you do a quick check before you update a new chapter.)

   Writing Style  

(Sentence Structure)

He Ran backhugged Siwon, tears are streaming down as she burry her face at his back "Oppa...I need to do this , for my dream..."

He Ran hugged Siwon from the back with tears streaming down her face. She tightened her hold on him, "Oppa...I need to do this, it is for my dream!"

(Do note that when you start a dialogue after a sentence, you have to put a comma or full stop before you start the dialogue. Also, do end your dialogue with a full stop.)

 “The Choi’s really went all out for this wedding! Everything looks exquisite, and I heard that all the flowers were imported from Europe!” Mr. Kim nodded in approval “Well what do you expect? Siwon-sshi and Ha Na-sshi are only child. Of course they’d go all out in this wedding.”

"The Choi's really went all out for this wedding! Everything looks exquisite and I heard that all the flowers were imported from Europe!” 

The pictures and gifs are distracting the readers from the story. It is interesting, but since you are writing a fic, describing would be a better alternative rather than showing all pictures and gifs.

  Character Development   

Due to the changing POV, it was hard to keep up at times. However, we also managed to understand more of each characters since you make it really detailed. 

The interaction between Hana and Siwon is really cute and it's believable as well. They did not progress too fast or too slow. Siwon's character was kind of dull at first but we got to see how much he grew as a person whenever he was with Hana. We can feel that he really do likes Hana and cherishes her a lot. 

Also, we felt bad for Donghae since he still have feelings for Hana despite her being Siwon's wife. We could really feel how he is often in a dilemma since he knows that he is not supposed to feel this way towards his best friend's wife but he can't help himself.

  Flow  

The story flows nicely; it wasn't too rushed or too slow. So GOOD JOB!

  Ending 

Since you have yet to complete the story, we can't say much on this segment. Do not hesitate to come to us once you managed to complete your story.

  Additional Comments 

Chapter 3: I think you got the POV wrong for the third chapter as well as the fourth.
Chapter 4: If it's Narrator POV, why is there a "you" then?

Please remember that you should not put a comma before the word "and".

Both the reviewers had enjoyed reading your story. You have the potential to do better, so continue writting and do not stop. 

P.S: You have awesome photoshop skills!