Dear nobody,

                I had another interesting conversation with Mr. ? today. It’s strange but now that I’m talking more and more with him, all other things have ceased to be felt. I have not Dreamed in a long time. I have not Remembered either. I have not had Nightmares. I have not had Flashes.

                Life seemed to be normal again.

                “Hello Mr. Kim,” Mr. ? greets me as usual.

                “Hi,” I greet him back. He always greets me with my name but I have yet to discover what to call him. It would seem inappropriate for me to call him Mr. ? as I do when I refer to him here.

                “I heard an interesting thing around the area yesterday,” he starts off the conversation.

                I bite. “And what did you hear?”

                “That we’re bad men, Mr. Kim. That’s what they call us here, you and I: bad men.”

                I did not like that word. Bad. “But that’s not true, right?”

                He shrugged, just a small movement of one shoulder. “What do you think?”

                I ponder for a while. Although I didn’t know anything about Mr. ? I would not think he is bad. In fact, he was very smart. And very knowledgeable. He always greeted me and would tell me things to protect me. No, he was not a bad man. All these traits make him a good man. I tell him this.

                “Why thank you,” he grins, “I haven’t had anybody say something like that to me, well, ever.”

                “Nobody has ever said you were good?”

                “No. But then, I guess it depends on your definition of good and your definition of bad.”

                “My definition? Doesn’t everybody have the same definition? Being good means to be kind and to caring. You are not self-centered and you put the needs of others before you. Being bad is the opposite. It means for you to hurt somebody and to cause pain. ” I wince at my own words. I caused somebody to be hurt and for them to be in pain.

                “That’s in your perspective though. What if this bad man hurt because he feels he is justified to do so? This bad man went to hurt this other person and to cause them pain because that is what happened to himself. All he wants to do is teach the other person what it’s like to be hurt, and hopefully through teaching him that, this other person will not hurt another person ever again. In the man’s eyes, he is doing good. He has put the needs of others before himself. He is not self-centered: he had to suffer before the feeling of pain first in order to teach the other person. Is this man bad then? Or is he good?”

                I find myself being unable to answer his question again.

                “Have you heard of Steve Taylor? He once said, “The ‘fluidity’ of goodness is also recognised by the process of ‘restorative justice’”. When the man teachers the other person, that is restorative justice. He is helping the other man learn then what it felt to be bad. Together, they learn how to be good. They are restored and the man has gotten his justice. The man may have intended to hurt the other person but it was all for this justice. For his good.”

                There are so many words, I cannot comprehend it all. Even now as I’m writing, my mind is wandering and turning and trying to process.

                What did it mean to truly be good then, if being good was in the eyes of the one doing the actions.

                “You told me that I am not a bad man, Mr. Kim. Well how about yourself? Are you bad?”

                I do not know anymore.