Niel sighed and breathed deeply. He had run from the room into the back and hid in the confessional. He wrapped his shawl over him even tighter as he thought. He felt an attraction to the groom, but that should not be. The man was going to get married. Niel clasped his hands and confessed, hoping to relieve his heart.

He sat in the booth for a while, trying to understand his heart. Why was it beating so quickly?

‘I’m not that stupid,’ he thought. ‘I know I find him attractive, but it’s not like I’m going to do anything about it. He’s a good man, and right now, he is being a good friend.’

The door to his booth opened, and he snapped his head up. He watched as the figure came in and sat down. Weather it was the young man that he’s seen so often or the groom, he couldn’t tell, but he was in a confessional. And as the young man sat down, he spoke on reflex.

“Confess your sins and all will be forgiven.” He saw how the figure jumped in surprised, and he had to bit his lip to keep from laughing. Then he thought about how many people he has met came to the church as a refuge without practicing the religion. Whoever it was on the other side, might just need to talk without having the burden of someone close knowing. “Even if it’s not your religion, having a quiet ear to listen will help ease your burden.”  He saw the figure ease back and stare at him.

“I don’t think sharing my worries with a stranger is a good idea.” It was the groom. Niel knew the other’s voice too well from this last week, and the groom’s voice left an impression on him. It was deep, yet gentle. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the fact that it was the groom, as well as how laid back he sounded despite the circumstances.

“You’re right, but I won’t hunt you down.” Niel winced at the sound of his own voice cracking. Even after puberty had passed, his voice would often crack and strain. While he was dressed as a girl, it worked to his advantage, but now it’s just something he gets embarrassed by. “And you may never see me again, so it won’t hurt.” Niel watched as the man shook, thinking that he was contemplating, until he heard a small badly hidden gasp. Niel assumed that he was worried. “In this booth I am vowed to secrecy.” He even made a motion of zipping his mouth, even though the other could not see. The man nodded, and they sat in silence for a minute. Niel thought that maybe the man was going to leave.

“I’m scared.” Niel smiled at his small victory of being able to get the young man to open up.  “I am marrying my best friend today. It’s not for love like how everyone wants it to be,” Niel watched as the man nodded to himself, “but I am doing it to help him. I am trying to protect him, but I’m scared that I will fail.”

“He is male?” Niel spoke without thought. The male nodded. “And he is your best friend?” He nodded once again. “And you are doing this for him?” Another nod. Niel only thought of it for a moment, but all he felt was admiration for the young man. He seemed so selfless and kind. “You are a good man.” They both sat in silence, and as Niel looked at the blurred figure, he saw a row of white. He was smiling, and it made Niel smile as well.

“Changjo!” A yell resonated from outside the room. “Ricky’s here!” The figure, Changjo quickly stood and bowed before Niel.

“Thank you,” he said before quickly running out. Niel sat and smiled at the now empty space.

“Changjo,” he whispered. He shook his fingers through his hair as he laughed. He found the man attractive, and he couldn’t help but to laugh. Maybe it’s because he was never really able to get crushes while he grew up since he was always preoccupied. Maybe it’s because this is so rare to him to have the fluttering and having his breath catch.  Maybe it’s because he didn’t realize that it was perfectly okay to have a crush, or maybe, it’s because he thought he was above having a crush.

He jumped as the door opened, but laughed as his own nerves. It had opened slowly, so he knew that it was his mother. He looked up to her with a smile, and even though she could not see it from beneath his scarf, she knew it was there by the way his eyes curled. She lightly pulled down her scarf before mouthing to him.

“It’s about to begin.” Niel nodded and followed his mother, making sure to tighten his scarf just a little tighter. He didn’t notice how his mother glanced back at the small window at the back of the booth.

Niel and his mother entered the main church area and made their way towards the sides of the Alter. They had been arranged to be witnesses as well and to give their blessings, which they gladly agreed to. Niel kept his head down as well as his eyes, voiding them of emotion, but it didn’t stop him from looking at the bride and groom. They were both beautiful.

He took his place before the groom, Changjo, as his mother took her place in front of the bride. He stared at Changjo through his bangs; he was entranced by his stare. His eyes were on him, and he couldn’t help but to stare into the eyes of the young groom before him. His mind had left him to the point of not noticing the priest right next to him.

“We will now begin.” He hoped that they didn’t notice him jump. He closed his eyes as Changjo looked away, and followed along with the priest’s words. They were nothing new to him. He’s seen many weddings throughout his stay at the church, so he preoccupied his mind with following along. Even as the procession came to their vows, he kept his eyes closed.

“I promise to protect you,” he heard Changjo say. It made his heart just a bit and ache, for he heard nothing but protection from his voice.

“I promise to make you happy,” he heard the bride say. It hurt him hearing the resignation and doubt in his voice. He listened to the soft rustling of clothes, the quit sobs, and the priest’s soft voice.

“I now pronounced you married.” Niel opened up his eyes and looked forward to the newlyweds. He watched as Changjo grabbed a hold of the bride’s head and just kissed his forehead before hugging him close. He felt admiration and pain for them. What exactly happened for them to come to this point? He might never know.

They both turned forward and bowed to the priest.

“Thank you Siwon.” Niel was finally able to get a good look at the bride. He noticed that he came in wearing a dress, but as he looked on, he saw just how pretty he was. It made him not want to call him a boy, because it seems as if she left that long ago. Maybe this has something to do with why they are marrying, but he can’t be sure. As Ricky stood, he was able to look at her face.

It was stunning. Smooth skin, angular face, soft lips, and a deep gaze. Both Ricky and Changjo just seemed so beautiful to him. As they turned away and waved off the priest, her movements just seemed so elegant to him. He raised his head and looked at her. She seemed so much prettier than he was.

“You look very pretty.” She turned quickly, and he realized his own voice.

“Thank you,” she said. She bowed deeply to them, and Niel couldn’t help but to feel embarrassed. Niel’s mother smiled as she saw her son’s face redden.

“Yes you are,” she said. Ricky looked up to her with her eyes large and shining, “And you will be taken care of.” She smiled at her words, and Niel had had looked down once more. Changjo had been staring at them him, but the other young man had pulled them away.

“Come on guys, we need to go back and move your stuff to your new apartment!” They followed suit, but not before turning back and waving them a goodbye. It wasn’t until they reached the door did Niel notice another young woman in the church walking out with them. She seemed so familiar, but she left in a hurry so he couldn’t see her that well, but he didn’t miss the sadness in her eyes.

His mother nudged him softly, and it was only then that he realized that he has been staring into space, where Changjo once stood. He looked up to his mother, but she just smiled. They stood looking after where they stood for a while, both calm and at peace. Both of them wished them well.

“We should start cleaning up,” she said. Niel nodded before heading behind the platform, towards the end of the church, to get the cleaning supplies. They always kept everything together and neat, but it always seemed to be so full. It was only reasonable for Niel to freeze when he saw the entirety of the supply closet was empty. There wasn’t a trace of cleaning supplies, candles, ashes, perfumes, scripture…nothing.

“Did we move the supply closet somewhere?” He yelled out. His mother cocked her head to the side before making her way to the back with him. She peaked over his hunched shoulder and furrowed her eyebrows as she stared into the empty room.

“Maybe,” she said. They stood and walked into the other main building of the church. The building was decorated with portraits of saints and art by children. There was gold and silver decoration everywhere as well as toys for the children and stuffed animals for the night. They would always admire how much of a home the church felt, but not right now. Maybe it’s because they have spent so much time that all the beauty had become a background, or maybe it’s because they aren’t paying attention. They were confused and focused. They looked in the classrooms, the shed in the back, the dorm rooms, and Niel even went up to the clock tower, but they were nowhere to be seen. As they were walking back down from the tower, Niel retrieved his phone to try and call the father.

Beep Beep Beep Beep

“It’s busy,” he whispered. He stopped when he didn’t get a response from his mother. She wasn’t behind him anymore. He backed up back into the hallway and ran past the empty walls and the empty rooms. Something was tickling his gut, and he didn’t like it, so he ran faster. He found her at the end of the stairs, just staring forward.

“Mom,” he gasped. He was worried. Her eyes seemed void, and it worried him. “Mom, are you okay?” She didn’t answer. He grabbed her hand lightly, but she didn’t respond. “Mom?”

“We have to get out of here.” He looked at her in curio sty before he turned to see what her eyes were so affixed to.

Empty.

Everything was gone. Nothing was hanging on the walls. No toys on the floor. No arts and crafts or the small gold and silver decorations either. It was just empty. His eyes widened. Without a second thought, he grabbed his mother’s hand and ran towards the exit. He reached a hand out to turn it, but it was locked.

“No,” he said. He knit his eyebrows together before lunging himself at the door, but it wouldn’t budge. It was so heavy. He didn’t want to hurt himself and leave his mother to defend him, so he went to the window in the next room, but they have all been boarded up.

“We have to go the other way.” His mother’s voice quivered. They know it’s a trap, but there was no avoiding it.

‘At least everyone else is safe,’ they thought. They held hands once more before sprinting through the building. The skirt bas bothering her, so as they ran, she stripped from her nun outfit to reveal white shorts and a white t-shirt. Niel had long shed the monk’s robe when he ran to find his mother, leaving him in white shorts and a white tank top as well. Their revealed skin was pale, hidden away for so long from the sun that in this now empty and abandoned church, they could be mistaken as spirits. They were slim, for they never stopped their training and their limited diet removed more of the fat that they had stored over the years, but they weren’t deathly. Their things were thick and their biceps were evident. Their breath was steady and their steps, light.

Beep. Beeep. Beeeep. Beeeeep.

They stopped once the reached through the door. There was a faint beeping that resonated from behind the door; the pitch lowered as the sound slowed. They were hesitant, unsure of whether this was the only way or not, but with a firm stance, they pushed open the door.

Darkness. The once bright church was now engulfed in black. The only sources of light were from the various candles displayed around the area. They stared in suspense before turning. They were on the verge of tears and collapse as they saw what was on the wall behind them.

“Father.” Niel’s voice was strangled as he tried to breathe. His chest was constricting to a painful degree as he saw the Father nailed to the crucifix. Blood flowed from his hands and feet as well as the various lashes that adorned his body. He was and vulnerable; all color diminished from his body only leaving a pale body. If it weren’t for the small flicker in his eyes, they would have presumed him to be dead, but at this point, they wish he was in order to save him from the agony.

His eyes flickered to them. His chest rose heavily, frantically as he tried to speak. Niel and his mother rushed forward to try and undo what has been done, but as they came to his side, they saw how he was stapled and nailed onto the wall from head to toe.

“R-un,” he wheezed. His voice rasped and blood spurted from the little force he had. Niel and his mother had their tears falling profusely from their eyes, and a heavy guilt landed on their shoulders. “Pl-ease.” His mother nodded before grabbing Niel and forcing him away from the father.  They reached the front doors, but they were locked. As they looked up, they saw how it had been welded shut.

Panic coursed through their veins as they ran about the room looking for a way out. The secret exits were all closed off and the windows were boarded up. They felt hopeless.

Beeeep. Beeeeeep. Beeeeeeep.

“A-,” wheezed the Father. Niel and his mother looked to him, and they saw the small flicker of his eyes move forward. “A-alter.” It took them a moment to understand before they darted forwards. They jumped and crawled along the floor before Niel looked at the father and how he was staring at one spot. He scrambled to the spot and began pounding before a small gap appeared. He gasped as he signaled his mother, both of them lifting the floor boards together.

They revealed a small metal room, a bomb shelter it seemed. It was big enough for the all the nuns and the children, but it was kept low and compact. It had a suffocating feeling to it, but they scrambled in anyway. They looked back to the Father, tears still streaming down their faces, as they prayed. He smiled at their gesture before closing his eyes.

Beeeeeeeee-

They shut the doorway as the beeping came to a stop, only for the sound of explosions to follow. It shook the ground, and when they stopped, they could feel penetrating the stool door. They cried and held each other close as they waited for this, this hell to pass.

After what seemed to be hours have passed, they heard the voices of men and women, as well as rushed footsteps. Niel made his way to get up, but his mother held him back.

“Let them think he died,” she said. “He’s probably watching.” Niel nodded in understanding before sitting back with his mother. They slept through the noise and they slept through the silence. After an indistinguishable amount of time, they finally surfaced, only to be greeted with darkness.

“They say that when someone dies, their star is added to the sky,” whispered his mother. Niel stared at the sky and focused on two bright stars.

“Do you think that’s theirs?” He pointed at the two stars, and his mother just smiled.

“Yeah.” The stars illuminated the sky, and as they stared off into the sky, they started to move. Neither knew where they were headed, but they just followed the two brightest star.