Dara left. My lover of about one year left me. It has been two years since we met at that club. Now, it feels like a part of me just faded away. She was afraid of me. She knew some day I would know the truth behind her secret affair. That day was today. This night was the night that was only filled with anger, fear, hurt, and intense emotions. After being pushed away by Dara when I kissed her roughly, I fell on my back on my apartment kitchen floor. I  just sat there, shocked. I leaned against the kitchen drawers and I banged my head purposely on the flat surface. 

 

"I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid," I thought. 

 

This room was too quiet. All I heard was closets and drawers being opened slowly and stuff being rummaged. She's still angry. Regretful, maybe. Dara is the kind of girl that doesn't show what she feels physically, but she just says so in a blank expression. I don't know what she's thinking right now. Will she ever talk to me? Will I still have the strength to speak up? Will she look at me ever again? 

 

I heard slow, steady steps coming near me. 

 

"I'm leaving. As I said, don't try to find me," she said coldly while carrying her necessities from my apartment. She then left my place, and drove away. 

 

- A few weeks later - 

 

I woke up on my bed. I looked at my clock. 9 AM. I realized I was still on my work clothes: black jeans, and a hoodie. I kept my head rested on the pillow. It's another day. Some say that tomorrows will be better than yesterdays. It's better, I guess, in some way, but not completely superb.  I am not completely healed. 

 

Ding. My phone rang. 

 

Dude, I heard what happened. You okay, bro?

Sent by Taeyang. 2012-09-14 9:03 AM 

 

No. 

 

I'll be fine. There's many fishes in the sea, right? And, man, WTF are you doing texting me in the morning? Aisshh. This bastard. -.-

Sent by Jiyong. 2012-09-14 9:04 AM 

 

It's not cool to joke about your relationship with her. Dude, she's like the first girl that you LEGIT loved!

Sent by Taeyang. 2012-09-14 9:08 AM 

 

Are you drunk or something?You're getting your crayon. 

Sent by Jiyong. 2012-09-14 9:10 AM

 

... I meant "CRAY ON". You know what, forget it. -.- 

Sent by Jiyong. 2012-09-14 9:10 AM

 

It takes a long time for me to get drunk, so it's not fun at all when people invite me to parties with alcohol. ^^ 

Sent by Taeyang. 2012-09-14 9:12 AM 

 

K

Sent by Jiyong. 2012-09-14 9:12 AM 

 

It's fun to annoy some people with one word replies. I know Taeyang tries really hard to keep all the anger inside him and not explode. But, man, I bet he's really frustrated right now. Hahaha! 

 

Hmm. Maybe breaking up wasn't so bad. There are other fishes in the sea, right? I'll be okay. I'll be perfectly fine. Perfecto. I smiled a little to myself. "I'll be fine," I said to myself in front of my bathroom mirror. I sighed then took a quick shower. Afterwards, I changed into casual clothes; dark skinny jeans, and a plaid polo long sleeved shirt. 

 

Ding Dong! 

The doorbell rang. 

I wonder who that is. I looked at the monitor, and it showed Chaerin standing there with her arms crossed. 

 

"Jiyong-ssi!" she said loudly, continuing to ring the doorbell. "Let me talk to you!" 

 

I opened the door slightly. It was wide enough for my face to peek. I looked at her from head to toe. Chaerin looked a little impatient but wanting. "What's there to talk about, CeeCee?" I said playfully. 

 

"You gotta be kidding me," she glared. 

 

"What's the password?" I asked with a childish smile. 

 

"You look pitiful." 

 

"That's not the password." 

 

She stomped her feet and pushed through the door to get in. Darn, she's strong! She looked around with her back facing me. I just stood next to the door.

 

"Yah, Jiyong-ah... I never thought you would actually break up with Dara," she chuckled a little. 

 

"She's your friend. Aren't you suppose to be scolding me or shouting at me right now?" 

 

"You're not worth my breath, Ji," she shook her head. 

 

"That just sounds mean," I pointed out. I walked past her to see her face.

 

"That's because I am mean. Or should I say, I'm just being me," she smirked at me. "Tell me a joke. I wanna smile since I'm with you, Mr. Positive-and-Smiles." 

 

"Pardon me?" 

 

"Just tell me a joke. Geez," she looked at me with a blank face. 

 

"Well... uh... what did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?" I asked. 

 

She raised an eyebrow.

 

"He said, 'Let's walk hand by hand by hand by hand by hand!'" I said with a smile. 

 

"Cheeeesssy!" she laughed. "But cute," she wiped her small tears under her eye because of laughing. 

 

"Yeah, yeah, sure. It wasn't even that funny even though it's super cheesy!" 

 

"It's just the way you said it, Jiyong," Chaerin smiled. "You truly are a cheesy and adorable guy. And that's coming from a friend... that has no interest in you," she smiled widely.

 

"... Aight then," I said while sighing loudly. "I'm bored. Want a drink?" I asked. I sure went off topic. I don't really like being called the nice guy all the time. I just want to be me, you know. Kwon Jiyong. I want that name to be unforgettable. 

 

I saw Chaerin started to walk towards a stool, and she sat on it. "What's good?" she asked. 

 

"Water. Milk. Juice. Coffee. Water. H2O. Oh, did I mention there's water?" I said jokingly. 

 

She glared at me. "Anything stronger than that?" 

 

"Strong Water?" I took out a bottle with that brand name. I knew she was hinting to give alcohol, but I don't owe any just because I don't like the idea of people getting drunk at my place. 

 

 She glared again. 

 

Ding Dong! Ding Dong! Ding Dong!

The doorbell rang again, but this time, it was more furious. 

Chaerin nonchalantly looked at the direction of where the door is. "Stay. I'll get it," I said, walking to the door. I looked at the monitor and it was a young guy. Probably around his early 20s. He looked a lot like Dara. He started pounding on my door really hard. 

 

"JIYONG-AH!" he shouted. 

 

Whatever this is, I want to end it before my neighbors start complaining. 

 

"What is it that you wan--" before I could even finish my sentence, this guy just punches me. 

 

"Jiyong!" Chaerin ran to us to see what happened. I held the affected area of my face. "Urgh..." I groaned. I then saw blood on my hand. 

 

She turned to the guy outside the door. "Cheondung? Cheondung-ssi?" she sounded shocked, looking at me then at the guy back and forth. "YAH! CHEONDUNG!" she grabbed his collar, pulling him in the room.  

 

"AH!" he shouted. "STOP TOUCHING ME!" 

 

"I will once you tell me why you just beat the crazy out of Jiyong!" she shouted back. 

 

I walked to them slowly. I rubbed my eyes. "Who's... that?" I pointed at him. 

 

"Have you got amnesia or something? He's Cheondung! Dara's younger brother!" Chaerin said while pointing at Cheondung. She the. slicked his forehead. "Yah, tell us why you did what you just did." 

 

He just sat there for a minute and looked around, wanting to avoid from responding to the question. 

 

"Cheondung..." I said. 

 

He sighed. "Dara noona told me everything. You hurt her, Jiyong. At home, all she would blabber about was you! She was in love with you. Can't you understand that? Can't you ever understand that she gave you her love? I punched you because you don't open your damn eyes to see the truth!" 

 

"Cheondung, with all due respect, you misunderstood. You don't know the whole story. So don't come to me talking about love," I said, starting to walk away. 

 

"I know everything. From cheating to fighting to the break up. She's still thinking about you," he said. I stopped walking. I looked back. 

 

"Chaerin and I know something you don't," he nudged Chaerin. She was making these facial expressions as if she didn't want to tell me what they know. 

 

"Spill it." I said. 

 

"She's hiding," Chaerin blurted. "Dara's hiding somewhere to get away from you. She broke up with the other guy. She doesn't want to be seen by you."

 

"Dara noona decided to stay there for as long as you don't remember her anymore," Cheondung added. 

 

"Let's go," I said. I grabbed my coat and shoes. 

 

"G-Go where?" Cheondung asked. 

 

"To that place. Where Dara's hiding." 

 

"She won't allow herself to see you!" 

 

"Let's... go." I repeated slowly. 

 

- After 30 minutes of driving -

 

"This is it," Chaerin said. 

 

It was just an average house in the city. A dog barked at us while we stood beside my car and just stared at the windows of the house for a few minutes. It's such a lonely house. It was only filled with dogs' barks, birds chirping, and music and television playing. I wonder what she feels and thinks. Why hide? Why not face your problems? Dara, I'm here. Do you hear my heart beating? My lungs desperate for oxygen? Can you feel my presence? You're just one step away from actually seeing me. If you're mad, come. Get mad at me. Punch me like you've never punched before. Dara... tell me something. Just... one word, at least. 

 

"Hyung--" Cheondung started. 

 

"I'm satisfied. I don't need to see her face. As long as she's okay, and I know where she is, I'm satisfied," I said, going back in the driver's seat. I put the ignition on and rolled the window down. "You guys coming?" I asked the two who are still looking at the house from a distance. Oy Chaerin went inside my car. 

 

"I'll be staying behind. I'm gonna look out for noona. Thank you, hyung," he smiled a little at me. "Please take time to understand noona's situation." 

 

I nodded, then Cheondung walked away. I drove away once he safely got inside the house. I drive and played the radio. Song JoongKi's "Really" started playing. Both of us were silent. 

 

"Jiyong," Chaerin said. "It gets better." 

 

"Hm. That's what they all say," I said. "I'll drop you off here. This is where you live, right?" I looked out of my window. "Take care. I'll see you around, Cee."

 

She sighed, and left my car. 

 

- Next Day - 

 

I visited the house again where Dara's staying. I stayed outside. I know if I show my face, things will just get more complicated. There's this sense of comfort and warmness every time I look at the house. Dara's a sweet woman. The kind where you can joke around with, and she'll totally understand you and laugh along. Maybe that's why I feel this comfortable vibe. I have to be honest, but I miss her. Although she betrayed me, I miss her. I'm crazy, right? What kind of a guy would still love a woman who kept such a secret affair? I don't know what to feel. My heart and my mind are fighting. My mind says, "She betrayed you. She acted like she loved you for a long time. Logically, a man would leave a girl who had done such a big impact on one's life. Leave, Jiyong. She's not worth it." My heart screams, "She's the first one you truly loved! No doubt about that! Go after her. I'm firm believer of second chances." 

 

I just... don't know anymore. 

 

For the next few weeks, I visited the house at least once a week. One time, I heard Dara outside the house. There was a gate, so I couldn't really see her face. She was on the phone with someone, I guess. 

 

"I... I miss him. Jiyong. I miss him," she said to the person on the phone. "I know, I know. Crazy, right?" she laughed a little. 

 

I don't know if she's being sarcastic, or she truly meant it but I guess those words made me melt. 

 

"I'll talk to you soon. Bye," she said. Their conversation ended. I quickly opened my car door because I heard someone was opening the gate from inside. It was Dara, I think. I turned the ignition on as fast as I could. 

 

"Jiyong?" a voice called. 

 

I froze. What do I do? I turned my head, and it was Dara who came forward near my car.

 

"Jiyong, is that you?" she asked. I opened my door again to talk to Dara personally. 

 

"Yeah," I nodded. "It's just me." 

 

"Chaerin told you, huh?" Dara asked. 

 

"Chaerin... and Cheondung."

 

She just nodded away. "Ji, you know we're living separate lives now. It's strange to look back and be together again."

 

"I just want to see if you're alright. Nothing more, and nothing less. Are you okay?"

 

She looked at me with almost teary eyes. "Yeah," she said. "Yeah, I'm perfectly fine. By the way, that girl you've been talking to. Minzy? Keep it up.  She's a close friend of mine. She's like my sister. Minzy likes the way you treat her. Like how you treated me. She told me you always say good morning to her, and call her beautiful." 

 

"When I called her, I thought she was you because she lives in your house now," I said. I'm embarrassed. I've been flirting with that girl through the phone because I thought she was Dara. It was my way of wanting to get back together, or at least just be friends. Minzy didn't even bother to say that she's not Dara. She went on. I guess she liked me that much. 

 

"She's there to protect my parents' house for a little while," she smiled a little. "But hey! It's awesome that you've developed a friendship with my brother, Chaerin, and Minzy. Normally, couples who break up never keep contact again. But you," she smiled. "You're such a nice guy. You're a keeper. Find a good woman, Jiyong. The one that's worth your love." 

 

"Thanks, I guess." I said. 

 

What do I do? This life of mine is crazy. 

 

 

[AUTHOR'S NOTE]: This was rushed.BLEHH. :P Comment your thoughts and subscribe!

 

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