Dear Gucci,

Wait no, that sounded wrong.

Dear Chanel,

OMFG now THAT sounded right.

Lol, I'm kidding.

I would never ever cheat on my precious gucci. <3 

But wouldn't that count as cheating on Kris hyung? 

Meh, I love gucci more than him anyway.

So, I guess to start off this boring entry, I just want to say that Kris hyung is a diva. Like, seriously, he's more diva-ish than Baekhyun himself! He spends hours– or even years– staring at his own reflection and fixing himself infront of it. One time, I was so sick of watching him admire himself, I threw precious gucci on him.

I know, unbelievable right? I mean, who would have the guts to throw the precious gucci onto Kris' ugly face? Apparently, me.

Anyway, ever since that 'accident', I swore to never ever throw gucci onto his face because it turns and molds into a terrifying monster in the next minute.

Huff.

Right now I'm hating on the demon twins. Let me tell you why.

One day, the one and only handsome-panda-loving heart throb named Huang Zitao strolled around the park. He was just enjoying the day and looking at the clouds with shimmering and glassy eyes, because his Kris hyung refused to buy him another pair of gucci manpurse, when Kris hyung actually bought him one just minutes ago. 

Hey, don't blame me that the manpurse was actually calling out to me when we passed by it inside the gucci store.

It sounded so trapped, like it was placed inside a cage and lions were dangerously circling it. 

If you consider old fat rich ladies circling it like they were lions, eyeing each other, waiting for the other to make the first move, so that the other can pounce on the former.

It gave me shudders to think about those ladies fighting over a manpurse when they can be fighting over someone as handsome as moi.

Wait, that sounded wrong.

Ew.

...

Ergh, why did I have to write that.

Anyway, back to the main point.

Huang Zitao strolled around the park, because someone in the name of Wu Yi Fan ditched him to buy his favorite alpaca a sweater. I swear, Kris hyung loves that plushie more than me!

But that's okay, I love gucci more than him anyway.

Don't tell him I said that, oh gosh. What if he stops buying me gucci and I have to blackmail him?!

I hated blackmailing.

You have to more around and use strength and blackmail other people.

That and just because I'm lazy.

c:

But I'm still dashing right? :D

OMFG why do I keep drifting away from the topic?

Okay, so, after sulking under the sun, Huang Zitao decided to sit and furrow his eyebrows in concentration (because I thought I looked handsome when I furrowed my eyebrows, but that's not the point). After what felt like forever, he felt that he was stared at, he looked up and oh my gosh is that an ahjumma staring him down with a creepy seductive look wtf.

I still shudder and her face scarred me for life!

Like, after we stared at each other, I stood up and ran for my life.

I had a guess that if I didn't think fast enough and ran, she would be walking over to me, swaying her hips side to side to make her look 'seductive', while trying to and trying to get inside my pants. 

The thought of that just- it just- it's so horrifying, like really! D;

After I stopped under a tree just some feet away from her, I heard laughing that awfully sounded like the maknae line, minus me.

The great Huang turned around and BAM! you could see Jong and Sedumb running for their lives with a very raged (and dashing ofc) Zifabulous running after them.

I tied them to a tree with the straps of my gucci manpurse and they confessed that they paid the lady to scare the out of me.

Which had worked, to be very honest because who would've not been scarred?!

So then, I smirked at then and started walking back with the same smirk on my face while the stared at me with horror.

I went back to where the old lady was, who looked like she was scratching her against a lamp post. I didn't bother srunching up my nose in disgust because only one thing clouded my mind: revenge.

I walked up to her and she stopped her -scratching and blinked at me, "Hi."

"You know those guys that told you to scare me earlier? Scare them for me until they pass out. I'll pay you triple of what they paid." I said in the most devious way ever that could make the main girls' hearts thud.

She smiled at me and nodded, putting her hand out in which I stared at it and raised my eyebrow.

No one touches Huang Fab that easily.

Nope.

Except manager hyung when he twists my ear.

Because ouch.

And it's unexpected so yeah.

My day ended with me sipping a cool mango shake, my gucci manpurse on my lap, and sitting cooly on the park bench watching SeKai scream and run away from the woman who had opened arms and looked like she wanted to actually the two.

I feel bad for them.

Scoff, not.

Revenge is sweet, es!

Love,

HuangFabberThanYourLife.

a second update? yes please.