Dear Diary,

OH MY GOSH DIARY 

IT'S MY TURN TO WRITE ON YOU NOW 8D

Btw, Chanyeol returned to me this other day. I suspected that he stole it from Joonmyun hyung, who I left this notebook to, and when I asked him about it, he just smiled like he was high or something.

Gosh, he creeps me out with his smiles and looks. Seriously, he's a creeper and a child in disguise of a tall and hot man.

. What the hell did I just describe him.

Am I gay or what?

Enough talking about that giant, let us talk about me and my ways of everyday trolling, hm? c:

I shall enlighten you so you better start calling me Master Chendae or Sensei. Bl

Trolling Lessons by Sensei Chendae, START!

Lesson 1:

Be a morning person. It helps with trolling. 

If you're an early bird like me–your Master, Chendae–, then that is good, because I tell you, it's fun to troll when it's the mornings.

Let me give you an example, like, yesterday's morning trolling:

I snuck out of my shared bedroom (which I shared with Minseok hyung) with a roll of strings in my hand. I then proceeded to the small hall that ended to the living room. Magically getting a tape from behind my back, which I will teach you later on on how to make things appear and disappear from your back, I bit off a part of the tape and taped one end of the string to the lower part of the wall, and cut the string to the length of the wall across the wall that I had taped the end of the string earlier.

Do you follow, my dear students?

Yes? Good.

No? Well then, you can go and eat Lay's pink boxers because I ain't repeating and explaining because it was hard enough to write down a description of what I was doing.

And because I am also lazy.

Now that you have cut the string, cut off a piece of tape and tape the other end of the string to the wall, aligning it with the taped end of the string earlier.

Now, watch them trip and fall one by one.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

After that 'incident', I got a big scolding from my parents, a.k.a Suho and Kris.

But I didn't really listen. I am Kim Chendae after all. c;

Being and early riser also gives you many advantages. For example, you can have all the time you need in the bathroom, and even do a mini concert, until someone bangs on the bathroom door and shouts something along the lines of:

"KIM ING JONGDAE STOP DOING YOUR CONCERT AND OPEN THE DOOR NOW! MY JUNK NEEDS TO PEE!"

And guess who said that.

Yes, it is Park Chanyeol.

I'm confused as hell; trying to dechiper whether he's talking about his real junk or his stuffed bunny.

But I bet you know which junk he's talking about. ;)

OTL I'm talking about Chanyeol again, Oh God.

Am I turning gay for him now?!

Hell no. Bo

Lesson 2:

Use Kai's power and teleport everywhere.

Like seriously, you need to pop out everywhere and startle people. I promise you, it's so fun.

Example given:

I was walking in one the halls of the SM building trying to find the new room where my new voice instructor was, when I suddenly passed by a very nervious Sehun and a very serious Suho. I stopped walking and backtracked, hiding behind a wall, peeking. 

I couldn't help but to overhear their conversation, but just a little bit;

"Sehun, I know it was you."

"What was me, hyung?" The younger replied nerviously.

"You stole it."

"I-I-I-," Sehun stuttered and later on sighed, "Okay, I admit that I stole one of your boxers. But I totally have a good reason for it! I was out of boxers and Kyungsoo hyung wouldn't wash them because he said that I was too lazy to even do it and-"

"Wait, you weren't the one who stole Luhan's diary?"

"Luhan's what?"

"Luhan's- WAIT, YOU WHAT?!"

I titled my head and pictured myself looking cute with my head tilt, but then shook my head and strategized my plan. I finally decided to show myself, so I stepped out of the shadows and crept to them, hiding behind Suho, but they didn't seem to notice me because they were busy arguing over Suho hyung's boxers.

I smacked my lips and jumped up from my crouching position, saying 'BOO' in a very deep, and y, if I may add, voice.

I guess that was a wrong move because I could feel my ears being torn off by a high-pitched voice.

Suho, which had his back turned to me, turned around with a shocked expression and wide eyes, while Sehun had his arms around himself, mouth opened and screaming in the most girlish voice ever.

After the three of us died down, I started laughing and stopped my phone which was recording.

Oh, I forgot to tell you, my dear students, I had flipped my phone on into recording mode when I was eavesdropping. In short, I had recorded Sehun's girly scream. o u o;; 

After that, I was chased around the SM building with a very angry Sehun on my tail.

I guess that's all for now, my dear students.

It is sad to announce that your dear Master Chendae is too lazy to finish his whole 36 (was it even thirty-six?) lessons of Trolling.

But do not be saddened!

Because.... uh....

I dunno. ;A;

Anyway, this has been Chen!

Take care and keep trolling.

Oh wait, I forgot to tell you how to make things appear and disappear behind you back.

It's so easy that you don't even need to close your eyes!

Just stick random things at the rim of your pants at the back, and wala!~

:D

Or just stick it into your back pocket.

Just love me,

          Master Sensei Kim Chendae <3

y chapter, i know. ;;