He would give up. There was nothing to do now but to collect what was left of his dull life and carry on. Kibum left out of his own will, hadn't he said so? And Kim Kibum was rich. Who knew? Well, Jonghyun guessed it was easier now to see by the way he had always carried himself. A street rat would never have had the same confidence and grace with which he always admired from Kibum. 

But it really didn't matter now. 

And to think he was about to make a fool of himself confessing. Jonghyun should thank the younger boy for saving him from that disgrace; he had shot him down before he could say those ridiculously romantic words he had been preparing. Life was going to be okay, didn't his parents always told him that: no matter what, the world will always continue to spin? 

Regardless, the words sounded so empty to him. His apartment, his once pride and joy, was lifeless and no longer home. He would move. Jonghyun smirked into the silence, no, he would not move. He couldn't let one person uproot him from the one place where he had gotten such a sense of warmth from. His family was always moving when he was a child, when it was just him and his parents. Then they passed away and he had never truly found a home until he found this place - a place that reminded him so much of his mom's kitchen when she was still with him. He wanted this place and had worked for it. He would not let Kim Kibum take this from him, too. 

"You're truly amazing, aren't you?" Jonghyun talked to the darkness. "The only person to change my life from the first moment I met you. And still you're changing it even when you are not here. I am not going to lose to you, Kim Kibum. My life won't fall apart without you." 

Maybe if he channeled his feelings to anger, he would stop feeling the clenching feeling that threatened his life. 
-- 


His past came often now. He did not know why but they came to him unexpectedly, sometimes they rushed at him head-on as if it was a collision, and he would be temporarily defenseless. As a child, he had never felt sorry for himself. It was simply his luck that he was stuck in bed and was not normal. His parents had loved him in their own way, had given up so much that he owed them the very air he breathed. But it was always a tug-o-war; they wanted him to have a normal life, but they didn't want to endanger his fragility. They wanted him to grow up stronger, but they did not want to watch him suffer. They wanted him to live, but they weren't sure what sort of life it was going to be if he was constantly ill. Even when he grew older, they were never sure what to do with him, wasn't sure where he had fitted in. 

When he was foolish, he ran away. He had thought of all possible negative thoughts and had held onto that. He had felt sorry for himself, guilt and burdened knowing he had caused someone else his life. At the time, he felt that he was doing the right thing. Why should the rich and the powerful be able to buy their way to the top of the hospital lists? So he had sold organs underground, and truly believed they were going to more deserving families. It wasn't until he realized the very same people he had trusted were only abusing the system and used him to help the very same people he hated - the people like his family, rich and powerful. The people like him. 

He tried to get away, but there was no way to run from so much blood. So much corruption. Even with his family's help, he had never been able to wash people his doings. Young and foolishness were never good excuses. They were after him. He knew they were after him. He wasn't the top of the organization but he knew everything; knew enough to destroy them if he were to testify. But that would only land him into more trouble, that would only destroy the hard work his family had put into building their empire. 

Now he was about to destroy other lives because he was careless. 

Kim Kibum looked out the window, he was high above the clouds and hundred of miles away from Korea now. But even then, he could feel his past not far behind. 
-------

"I can't run anymore, Taemin." Key lay his head against the younger's boy, his back pressed against the wall facing the outside. They both ignored the cold that permeated through the walls, shivering up their spines. 

"What're you going to do, hyung?" 

"I need my father's company. I need the name and the resources to put those bastards in jail." 

"Hyung..." 

"But until then, I can't stay here," Key held still even as Taemin squirmed to get up. He couldn't face the younger's eyes right now, so he pushed Taemin's head back down. "I have to go away for awhile. But you be good. Take care of Jonghyun for me."

"Hyung...Jonghyun hyung...he..." 

"Hm?" 

"Well," Taemin sighed. "It's not my place to say, but Jonghyun hyung...he loves you." 

-------

Packed and ready, Key stood at the door, dreading the moment it will open and in walks the person he didn't want to face - but he needed to do this. He needed to give Jonghyun's closer so he boy wouldn't run after him. When the door opened and his roommate stepped in with a wide grin, Key felt his world crumbled beneath him. I love you, too, was the single thought that seared through his brain. 

“You…are taking a trip?” 
… 

Was there any way to answer? Was there an easy answer? So he told Jonghyun. It wasn't supposed to happen right then but Key couldn't help himself. His past stumbled out in a whirl of sentences and pained memories all displayed for Jonghyun to see. He owed this much, at least.

“Kibum…”

“Don’t. Don’t use that name." 

Why did Jonghyun always insist on using his real name? No one called him that. He adapted the name "Key" after his success with the gang. It was supposed to be a name meaning he knew how to solve the most difficult problems, always could unlock the answers. It was a perfect fit because he was a damn good asset to the gang with his resourcefulness. 

“You…you know?” Jonghyun stammered. 

“I didn’t want to see it, but, it was so obvious,” Key sneered, his lips twisted into a genuine mocking smile. “Did you think I couldn’t see what I do to you with just one touch? One simple word? One kind gesture?” 

“But you didn’t say anything…” 

“Because you don’t love me, Jonghyun." 

It was better than admitting. Key realized that he needed closer to and if hurting Jonghyun was going to help both of them, then he would just have to be selfish. He would pay for this moment later. 

---- 

“My roommate confessed…well, I left before he could. But he was going to, sooner or later. And I didn’t want to hear it."

“So you packed up and left? My typical Kibum,” she smiled, though not unkindly, but there was a hard look in her eyes; something sad and bitter. “Did appa and I do such a bad job? We raised you to run away from love, to never be happy like this.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Kibum sighed. “You didn’t raise me to be a delinquent, either. But it was my choice. You guys already helped so much. And I am not running away from love. I'm just...running..." 

No one ever felt sorry for the one who had to leave. He was a coward, a typical weakling, unable to stand and face his feelings. But, Key felt that was unfair. He knew his feelings. But, just like he had done for his parents, the best thing he can do for Jonghyun right now was to leave the boy alone. Jonghyun would not have a future with him just as his parents' company would not flourish if he had stayed home. The Lockets would do whatever they can to threaten him because Key held all their secrets.




*** PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS FIVE YEARS AFTER KIBUM'S DEPARTURE!***





{2015 - FIVE YEARS LATER...}

Key threw his bag on the floor, near the door, and stepped into his small apartment. His body ached all over, and he was so tired he only managed to drag himself to the couch. His room and the comfortable bed would have to wait. He wanted nothing but to lay here. A smile lit up his face as he remembered how they had successfully changed the company's tittle from being under his father's name to his today. Everything was going as planned. He glanced around his apartment, it wasn't anything big but at least it was home. He had returned to Korea three months ago to take over the business. There was so much to be learned, to be gone legally. He was utterly exhausted. His parents had offered their home but moving in with them was the last thing Key had in mind. 

He was also working privately with the police force on a side project, one that he was more than happy to take part in. He had wanted to do it from the beginning and had approached the Chief of the Seoul's police department. They knew, through a lot of backtracking and through some of his former comrades that he was part of the Lockets' gang. Key wasn't going to end up in jail and he had another proposition for them. Help them put his former boss in jail and they will look the other day regarding his actions. So he had worked tirelessly at his two jobs and was grateful to be given a second chance to make a difference. 

It still surprised him from time to time when he thought back on it. A skinny kid from a comfortable home, running towards the slumps of underground and managed to worked his way up to be one of the most revered right hand man of a big gang leader. A weary young man who suddenly came to realize that the same excuses he told himself to justify what he did when he was a kid no longer held. A blessed child of loving parents, even if it cost them much more than he could repay to pull of out of that life. A relentless moving target, never was able to stay in one place for fear of harming those around him. So he hid and constantly moved. The money they used to pay off the gang to leave him be only bought him some time, he knew that. Sooner or later, they were going to come for him. But he had turned the table, he was now coming after them.

Then he had stumbled into a completely new world. One that was not dominated by money, one that didn't revolve around guns and backward deals. He had lived with a roommate, occasionally went out with friends, and worked his various jobs. He felt normal. But that illusion was shattered and he had to be on the move again. 

Never again, Key told himself, he would never again have to hide. He was on the other side of the law now, and he was going to do his best to see that all his former gang mates were behind bars, away from society. He didn't particularly like his job, but he wanted this. The other extreme. This was the only way he could pay back his debt to all those whose life he took. 

When his phone vibrated from deep without his pocket, Key sighed, his rest disturbed. 

"Yes? No, I am not busy. Yes, I can get to those documents now," Key pulled out his laptop and cursed inwardly. Damn. That bed really will have to wait. 

**

"He called?" Minho asked, he was leaning against the arm chair, feet propped on top of the coffee table. Jonghyun scowled at the sight but the younger boy just shrugged his shoulders and grinned in response. 

"So fast..." Jinki mumbled, "poor guy." 

Taemin sighed as he leaned in to put his head on the crook of Jinki's shoulders, "too bad for him. I was going to agree to that date; I didn't know he'd give in already. No fun at all." 

"Are you going to throw him away now?" Minho asked, his face set in a frown. 

The youngest, whose face did not grow out of its "angel" image even with the passing of time, clicked his tongue, "he's not a toy, hyung." 

"Well you treat him like one." 

Jinki hushed them up and turned to Jonghyun, "so you got it?" 

"Yeah..." Jonghyun stared at the receiver in his hand. He got it. He was signed, again, and this time with a big label company! He no longer had to drag his songs from places to places, hoping one would pick it up. He now had a record label company offering him a job. He will get a recording studio, his own equipment where he could work directly with the artists. Albeit it helped that the vice president of the company had been pining away for Taemin ever since their first meeting, thought he assured Jonghyun it had nothing to do with that - well, it didn't mater. He was signed! 

Jonghyun stopped rocketing through the clouds with happiness when he saw Minho's tightly clenched fists, eyes glaring at his feet like they had done him injustice. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Minho hyung doesn't approve of how I got you the job," Taemin waved his hand in the air as a sign of dismissal. "It's not like I sold him my body." 

"You led him on," Minho sneered. 

"And it's my fault he mistook my genuine interests in his work as an interest in him? Did I tell him to send flowers? Granted I asked for this favor for Jonghyun hyung, but...hyung needed it." 

"Taemin," Jinki chimed in. "Minho. Stop bickering." 

"Yes, Saint Minho, it must be tiring to always have a stick up your behind. Calm down," Taemin retorted and stuck out his tongue. 

Jonghyun coughed slightly to hide a bubbling laugh. Over the years, Taemin grew up - and he meant, really grew up. Gone were the innocent days of his love for banana milk, and somewhere along with it, his puppy crush for the Minho. Though Jonghyun never paid much attention since he was always working, and when he finally eased up to join the rest of the world, he was met with a snarky Taemin, an unhappy Minho (where Taemin was concerned), and a...well, Jinki was still Jinki. 

"Oh look! Key hyung is on TV!" Taemin shouted, shattering through any coherent thoughts. 

"Fancy suit," Jinki murmured. 

And there it was. His constant drive, the reason why he worked himself to exhaustion only to end up faced down in bed day after day. 
Kim Kibum came back to Korea a few months ago to inherit his father's company after his two older brothers gave it up to pursuit their own callings in life - though Jonghyun didn't know what. 

"Wow, he looks different," Minho said, "his hair is actually one color and not some crazy streaks...like a Christmas tree." 

Jonghyun nodded. 

Kim Kibum was back. 

Why was that the only thought he could conjure? Kim Jonghyun, you're an idiot.

***

"Did you see the look on his face?" Taemin practically danced down the steps, they had just left Jonghyun's apartment and was heading towards their own cars. The youngest's face was lit up with a beaming smile. "Do you think he will call Key hyung? I slipped him the number."

"Taemin," Jinki sighed, "we can't interfere."

"Why?"

"Because it's meddling," Minho stated.

"Only Jonghyun can decide what is best for him. We love him so we can only watch and hope for the best." Jinki said, his expressions solemn, then quickly brightened. "I KNOW! Let's all get ice cream before we go home. Let's go! I want sundae!"

"How old are you now, hyung?" Minho laughed but he allowed himself to be dragged towards their car.

Jinki grabbed Taemin with his other hand, "you go, too. You've been growing too fast these days! Ice cream will make you younger. Then you won't have to flirt with nasty men in suits and Minho won't go home all sulky." 


AUTHOR'S NOTE: PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU GET YOUR TORCHES!


WHAT THE HELL!?

Okay, okay, I know. Everything in normal font (not italicize) is the "present", so to speak, so everything in italicize is the "past" mixed in with some memories on Key's part (especially the part from previous chapter 4). I was going to go on with Jonghyun's angst but really, who would be interested in reading five years worth of him waiting for Kibum? I promise you are not missing out on anything, so I decided to skip ahead to five years later when Kibum would be back and the angst would start all over again, except with Kibum in the picture this time. The beginning part was supposed to be a transgression. HAHA. Did I fail? x) 

I'll add in tid-bits here and there so you will be caught up from the previous five years, anyways, so no worries. Yeah, I broke up the 2MIN love, for their reason is coming, too. Everything shall be answered so stick with me! (please)