Kevin, the Girl-Slash-Boy, No One Knows

While Martina was meeting with T.O.P. for the first time, Simon was eating some ice cream as he skipped down one of he many streetshops of Korea. And yes, skipping is very manly. "Like a man", as he would say (ooh, you so nasteh).

The weird thing was that every time Simon ate half of his vanilla ice cream cone, it regenerated back into a brand new ice cream cone that had never been eaten. Now, doesn't that seem awfully familiar? No, not at all... Sick of his never-ending supply of ice cream, he threw it into a nearby passerby's purse and looked around at his surroundings. In front of him was a hair salon with a big fat "HIRING" poster covering the window.

Interested, Simon kicked the door down and immediately went into he employee's area to put on a BILSA, CONQUEROR OF KITTIES AND DEVOURER OF TEENAGE GIRLS' HEARTS apron and grab a pair of scissors. Once he was ready, he went back out to one of the customers sitting in a chair in front of a mirror. It was a teenage girl with soft-looking goldish-blonde hair, almost past her ears.

"How may I cut your hair today, little girl?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows while opening and closing his pair of really sharp and dangerous scissors.

The girl glared at him in the mirror. "Dude, I'm a guy."

"Sure, sure, little girl." Simon shrugged. "I'll take that as an 'you can do whatever you want, surprise me' sort of answer."

"What?" The so-called-boy-or-girl questioned as Simon drew an imaginary line in the middle of her head and shaved the hair on he right side of her head off (wait, when did his pair of scissors change into an electric shaver?).

"There, all done! Don't you look even prettier now, little girl?" Simon cooed, the hair on her left side.

The girl stood up and started shouting at him. "MY NAME IS KEVIN, I AM A GUY, AND WHAT THE HOLY FUDGE DID YOU DO TO MY PRECIOUS HAIR."

The Canadian just grinned and held out his palm. "That will be $150 dollars, or 140,000 won, whichever's more."

Annoyed, Kevin took off his sneakers and started to beat him in the head. "TAKE THIS, YOU PEDO-BEAR."

"Gladly!" Upon the girl- er, I mean the boy's third smack, Simon caught the shoe in his hands and grinned even more sinisterly than before. The poor boy had no idea what he had gotten himself into.

Simon shoved Kevin back down into the seat and took his other shoe off his foot. "I'll be taking this as well, thank you very much. Please come again and have a nice day!"

Before the poor victim could even think about mustering an answer, Simon had run out of the hair salon after spraying several cans of hairspray-foam-thingy everywhere and climbed up the nearest telephone pole. After a couple seconds, he came back down and looked back up at his beloved masterpiece: Kevin's pair of sneakers were now hanging from the telephone line, the laces tied together with cement glue.

"Oh, no! My carriage has turned back into a pumpkin and I have lost my glass slipper! You must help me find it!" Simon cried and grabbed a random citizen's wrist. Unfortunately, it was an old ahjumma and she had no choice but to be dragged away, down the long street and to the next block.

Meanwhile...

"I'm ready to go kick some ranch-loving !" Martina was now adorning pink pigtails, a glitter-proof vest, boots that weighed as much as your refrigerator, and a belt holding several different deadly weapons.

T.O.P. appeared next to her, also wearing a glitter-proof vest. They both held "orange-juice" water guns in their hands. The reason why the water guns were filled with orange juice instead of water is because the citrus held some sort of special trait that would help calm down Simon from his ranch-rush. That, and spraying him with orange juice would be really fun.

"Alright, let's set off!" T.O.P. said and Martina saluted him. They both walked down the street, looking at everything and everyone with suspicion.

Eyes carefully scanning for an unusually tall person, Martina spotted something odd and pointed it out. "Look at the telephone line above the intersection! It looks like a pair of sneakers has been tied there! It must be Simon's doing!"

The blue-haired idol squinted his eyes in the said direction and nodded. "You're right! He might still be around here!"

The duo entered the nearby hair salon to investigate. "Whoa, it reeks of hair products, desperation, and pine trees." Martina pinched her nose and aimed her orange juice gun at the only person in the salon. "You, little girl! What happened here?"

It was Kevin, who was trying to figure out where his shoes had went. He looked up and threw his arms up into the air in frustration. "I. AM. A. BOY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE."

And with that, the flower boy ran out of the salon with his half-shaved head. T.O.P. gave Martina a weird glance and she returned it with a shrug. "Wow, that kid sure has anger issues."

The rapper nodded and motioned for her to exit the salon. "Since no one's here, let's just keep going and hope we catch your brother."

"Alright, let's go!"

Author's Note: i finally updated! sorry it's so short, i was making a new layout for this story since the last one was bothering me, lol. it's simple and readable...? anyways, hope you liked this chapter! i noticed that a lot more people subscribed to this and i got kinda worried and pressured a bit: what if my material isn't funny enough, what if they don't like it, what if i disgrace simon and martina's name, what if what if what if? it scares me... i hope i can meet your expectations...