Sungjong's mouth fell open-- the bottom of his world fell open. "Don't say that to me."

"I was already in love with you, Sungjong." Myungsoo told him, still keeping a tight grip on the sides of Sungjong’s face, "The doctor told me that I could be in love with anyone I wanted to. I could be happy with anyone I chose. But then I thought, why wouldn't I choose you? That's what I figured out after talking to him. I do have a choice, this biology stuff is just telling me that there's someone made to fit me perfectly."

Carefully, Sungjong lifted his hand to touch Myungsoo's on his face, ready to pull it off. A last ditch effort to get away before Myungsoo told him that he'd come to this whole revelation-- he'd come to love Sungjong and still realized that he could be happy with Sooyeon, because surely, surely this couldn't be what Sungjong had been hoping for all along. He'd made peace with the fact that he wouldn't be getting what he wanted. Myungsoo wasn't having it, though. Quickly, he leaned in, tugging Sungjong's face to him so that their mouths met. It was a hard kiss, Myungsoo's mouth coaxed his open slightly and Sungjong didn't even think to fight it until he'd let himself be kissed, then he was pulling back against Myungsoo's grip. It took him a deep breath to be able to ask "What are you trying to say?"

Myungsoo looked frustrated and scared. He felt like a mess, Sungjong couldn't pick out one coherent emotion from him and he stopped trying. "Damnit," he breathed, "I don't want to marry Sooyeon. I haven't wanted to for a while. I kept meeting her because I used to like her and she's nice and I thought I should and you were this big thing inside of me that I couldn't figure out. Then I finally did figure out what I was really feeling," he paused before continuing quietly, "and I hope that you will choose me now."

For getting exactly what he'd wanted, Sungjong felt irrationally angry. He pushed against Myungsoo violently. Myungsoo looked at him sadly, almost acceptingly, and that almost made Sungjong even angrier. "Well now that you've finally decided I'm worth something, I'm supposed to give in to you?" He was being unfair, really unfair, and he knew it. It didn't change that he was hurt. Maybe he was too immature because he could comprehend Myungsoo's crisis and yet he still felt slighted. He tried to breathe through the mix of hurt and anger and couldn't really understand himself for feeling the way he did. The worst part was that he could tell Myungsoo was feeling it too. When had Myungsoo become so sensitive to what Sungjong was feeling? "It can't just be this easy right?" He asked, mostly to himself, "That's not fair." He repeated before he struck out, "Maybe I don't want you this time, huh?"

The look on Myungsoo's face was one Sungjong hadn't ever seen before. His face had dropped, making him look confused and hurt and Sungjong hoped, meanly, that he was. It took a second for Myungsoo to find his voice, "Well. That's fine. But you can't leave." He reached out to grab Sungjong's wrist again when Sungjong turned.

"I want to stay at my grandpa's house tonight." Sungjong tried to tug his hand free again, already annoyed again at this wrist grabbing, "I want to go home."

"No. You can't leave every time something happens. We've gone too long today apart and we'll feel like tomorrow if you leave."

Sungjong curled his upper lip at Myungsoo, "I'm going to feel like staying here with you tonight anyway."

Myungsoo's mouth closed tightly and he became still, but before Sungjong could congratulate himself on the escape, Myungsoo's hand just tightened around his wrist and he was pulling Sungjong towards the bedroom but stopping at the bathroom. "Get ready for bed."

Sungjong laughed a little. "Do you think you can end the conversation like this? That's not how this works."

"Shut up. You said we didn't have to talk about it."

"I said I wanted to go home."

Myungsoo's frown deepened but he didn't let go of Sungjong, instead he turned away from the bathroom and pulled Sungjong into their bedroom. "Then change into your pajamas."

"No!"

In response, Myungsoo's mouth tightened and he tugged Sungjong closer, tugging at the hem of his shirt. Sungjong only struggled briefly, already beginning to give in to Myungsoo. Sungjong's shirt was pulled off but his jeans only ed before Myungsoo pulled his own shirt off and pushed Sungjong onto the bed and climbed in himself. He moved and rearranged Sungjong until they were tucked together the way they usually slept. The light in the hall was still on, but Myungsoo's arms were tight around Sungjong, intent on keeping him where he was. "Just sleep here tonight and tomorrow you can go."

Sungjong sighed and head-butted Myungsoo's collarbone in tired frustration.

"I promise. Just stay with me tonight and I'll let you go where ever you want."

"It won't matter." Sungjong closed his eyes, "I have to come back anyway." The way they were positioned, he could feel Myungsoo's heartbeat, quick under his cheek. Through their bond he could feel fear from Myungsoo that confused him. He felt a flush of anger that Myungsoo felt scared. What would he have to fear? But the anger drained from him easily when Myungsoo's fingers curled into the hair at the nape of his neck.

"I'm sorry." Was all he said.

Sungjong thought it would be difficult for him to get to sleep, still keyed up from their fight and held down by Myungsoo, but it was actually surprisingly easy with Myungsoo's fingers rubbing his head and the exhaust he'd been carrying. He found his eyes beginning to droop, like they hadn't been arguing and everything Sungjong had believed since he'd imprinted on Myungsoo was not what he'd thought. He wouldn't be getting away from Myungsoo and his body knew it.  One thing he noticed before he dropped off to sleep was the quiet sense of affection coming from Myungsoo, tinged with sadness. He'd felt Myungsoo's affection before, but never like this. It felt subtle and entirely overwhelming at the same time and it helped to lull him to sleep faster than he wanted to admit

His dreams felt melancholy but when he woke up, he couldn't remember them.

When Sungjong blinked his eyes open and began to feel aware of everything around him he couldn't feel Myungsoo awake and the thought occurred to slip out before his awareness pulled Myungsoo out of his sleep but he barely had time to consider it before Myungsoo's hand tightened where it was around his hip, one of his fingers hooked through a belt loop.

"I told you you couldn't just leave." Myungsoo rumbled, his voice deep and hoarse from sleep. Goosebumps rose on the back of Sungjong's neck and spread down his arms. The way Sungjong was turned with his back to Myungsoo's front meant he couldn't see Myungsoo's face, but that was fine.

He wet his lips with his tongue as he felt Myungsoo's thumb the skin above the waist of his jeans. They were still ed and felt loose, just pulled down a little from moving in his sleep. "Actually, you said I could do whatever I wanted if I stayed the night."

Myungsoo was quiet for a moment when Sungjong said that, but after his silence, his fingers gently released Sungjong, but he didn't move away. It was up to Sungjong to pull himself out of the curve of Myungsoo's body. "I wish you would stay." Myungsoo said quietly and Sungjong paused.

"I don't wanna stay. It's weird."

"Why?"

"Because I-- it's--" Sungjong was flustered trying to explain how he felt. He couldn't pick out his own emotions, how could he explain them to Myungsoo?

It seemed Myungsoo could though. "You didn't expect for me to ever love you back?"

Sungjong's entire body flushed and his stomach dropped having that said out loud. "Yes!" He spat, spinning to face Myungsoo again. Now, Sungjong was standing beside the bed and Myungsoo was still lying down, propping himself up on his arms. Sungjong had no reason to feel vulnerable, but he did. "You have no right!" He sputtered.

Myungsoo's eyebrows furrowed cutely before his mouth actually curled up into a smile. "I didn't know I wasn't allowed."

"No , you weren't allowed!" Sungjong felt like stomping his foot in frustration. Or crying. "I was getting better at this. Being imprinted but not having you. It's not fair of you to change your mind after all this time."

Myungsoo wasn't smiling anymore. "I'm sorry, Sungjong."

Sungjong straightened his back and ignored Myungsoo's apology. "I'm going to my grandfather's. I know I have to come back tonight, but I think that if we try hard enough I can live at home without giving us touch starvation. That'd probably be best for us, right? We should have tried from the beginning."

Myungsoo put his head in his hands, "I don't want to do that."

Again, Sungjong ignored him and buttoned his pants. He had to push a few of Myungsoo's plain, boring t-shirts aside in their dresser to find one of his own. Moving out was bull; it wouldn't work. Within two days they'd probably make themselves both sick, but it felt vindictively good to say. "If you feel really bad, you can call me and I'll come to the shop."

It was interesting to be able to distinguish the feeling of his own chest aching and also the echoes of Myungsoo's pain. Interesting and weird. Sungjong left their room without looking at Myungsoo again.

He spent the walk to his grandfather's house thinking about Myungsoo's confession and alternating between feeling furious and sick to his stomach. It was like a loop that he couldn't break.

His grandfather's first words to him were "What's wrong?" and when Sungjong looked away and shook his head, his grandfather said "Aw hell."

Sungjong crossed his arms and pushed past his grandfather, into the office. Pop just followed him quietly, obviously waiting for Sungjong to talk, because Sungjong liked to talk and he was used to Sungjong's chatter. Instead Sungjong stubbornly kept his mouth shut. "Nothing's wrong. I wanted to visit you." He explained when his grandfather sat down and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"Don't say 'visit you' like I'm some senile patient in an elderly home."

"I visit when I miss you but this is still my home right?" Sungjong felt a lump in his throat just asking.

"Of course it is, Jongie." His grandfather smiled at him. "It's always going to be your home and I'm always going to be here for you to talk to. Or not." He looked at Sungjong meaningfully and finally Sungjong gave in.

"Myungsoo said he loves me now." He said softly.

His grandfather blinked at him, Sungjong could see his words sinking in, "So why are you upset?"

Sungjong slumped in his chair, "I've spent so long wishing that Myungsoo would want me."

"And now he does."

Sungjong frowned, still feeling the lump in his throat. "I've already given up on Myungsoo, Pop. It's not fair that he gets to decide now for both of us."

To Sungjong's surprise, his grandfather laughed. Long and hard. "Sungjong," he wiped at his eyes, "You are my stubborn boy."

"Everyone needs to stop saying that." Sungjong grumbled.

"Myungsoo loves you." Pop said, like a reminder, but Sungjong rolled his eyes, "Sungjong, are you listening? He wants to be with you."

Sungjong opened his mouth to tell his grandfather that he already knew this, but then it actually hit him. He paused, mouth open. "."

"Language." Pop said happily.

Another chapter delivered half drunk. wOOOo. idk why but this was hard to write. Also, this is almost finished ;____; 2 me guys lets be tumblr frans. i need all the good myungjong things on tumblr.