It had been a month since he last made friends with Kyungsoo but they hardly get to see each other outside of that one lecture that they shared. Kris was dying to ask Kyungsoo questions that had been burning at the back of his mind. He suspected that Kyungsoo might be suffering some kind of illness. One thing for sure, he would look up the library later. One could assume, but he needed answers. And he wasn't someone who'd jump to conclusions without concrete proof.

"Have you guys seen Kyungsoo lately?" Kris asked while sipping the bubble tea that Joonmyun had bought for them earlier as he had promised to treat them all if he got his crush's number.

"You mean the crazy dude?" Chanyeol chewed on bubble tea pearls. "I haven't seen him much. By the way, Joonmyun, have you got a date with him?" He barked out a laughter when Joonmyun blushed.

"What? I just accidentally got his number because he's my project partner. I still think he's straight though." Joonmyun shrugged, not meeting their eyes.

Kris tried not to probe him but Yixing thought otherwise. "Have you seen the way he looks at your ? No way is he straight."

"Himchan is straight." Joonmyun insisted although the hope of him not being heteroual was evident in his eyes. "Hey, isn't that-"

"The crazy boy." Chanyeol finished for him.

True enough, Kyungsoo was jogging from a distance but he somehow must have heard them from a distance. He stormed towards them, hands over each side of his hips. Something must have ticked him off because his sweaty face was a shade of red, almost in fury. Eyes trained on Chanyeol, he pointed accusingly at the latter.

"Who's crazy?! You're crazy! Dirty! And look at all that! Germs!" Kyungsoo gave a cursory glance over Chanyeol, shuddering as goosebumps forming all over his arms.

Shocked by the outburst, Chanyeol's jaw dropped. Kris just blinked a the scene playing out right in front of him. Before he could even say "hi", Kyungsoo had retraced his steps, disappearing back into the path that led to the school's running tracks.

"I think there's something wrong with him." Kris murmured

"No , Sherlock." Chanyeol replied sarcastically, giving him a pointed look.

"I mean like he's sick sick. Get what I mean?"

Baekhyun who had been busy typing on his smartphone, looked up at him. "I thought so too. He looks like one of those clean freaks. Maybe you can introduce him to us. He loooks lonely."

"Yeah." Yixing nodded. "Joonmyun here can be his doctor."

"Hey, I'm just a medical student. Still a lot of things to learn."Joonmyun looked over at Kris. "But I can help you look it up too."

Kris' smlile broadened. "Thanks, Joonmyun."

✎✎✎

Shelves after shelves of books he went through and found none that he was looking for. Joonmyun had told him that he will be a little late as he some last minute paper work to settle with the school's administration. Most probably regarding his scholarship, since he'd learnt that Joonmyun was top of school cohort during his high school years. And that's saying something since he came from a prestigious private school with parents from middle income family supporting him.

Kris decided to search his desired book via the computer terminals to help narrow down his search. Why didn't he use this mean earlier, boggled his mind. 

Mental illness. He entered.

It brought him about twenty books related to it. He jotted some on his phone's memo app. And attempted another search.

Obsessive disorder.

This time only about five books came up in the search result. Kris took down all of their reference number and went in search for all the books that he had listed in his memo app. It didn't take him to locate all the books. Out of the ten books he got, he dumped five of them into the empty trays meant to collect books that one had browsed.

He was about to scan his student ID to borrow when a hand tapped his shoulder.

"Sorry, I'm late."Joonmyun whispered, eyes darting around to ensure he hadn't spoken too loudly. "But it looks like you've got what you wanted without my help." He pouted a little.

"With the help of those computers that I managed to find these." Kris motioned for him to look at the computers stationed all around the library. "They're very helpful. Anyway, did you get your stuff done."

"Yeah, it took quite a while as they had some problem with their printer." Joonmyun helped Kris carry some of the books as they headed out. "Are you hungry?"

"I'm starving!" Kris checked his watch. It was five in the afternoon. "Let's grab something to bite before we head back."

Fortunately, Joonmyun lived near to where his rented apartment was, so they usually ended up walking home together when the chance arose. He would need a full stomach before going through the books that he'd borrowed. The answers to Kyungsoo's weirdness lies in these books. He only needed to find them.

✎✎✎

The tap water ran over his soapy hands like the tears streaming down his cheeks. He pulled them away from the sink, flipping his palms over, checking it for the nth time.

One more time. Ok, I promise this will be the last time.

Kyungsoo pumped a coin-sized clear ocean blue liquid onto his palm. He rubbed them together until it foams, slipping over each fingers, scrubbing his nails over the opposite palm to ensure nothing was left unclean. He ran them through the tap water again. And repeated it all over. Twice.

Patting his hands over the tissue, he balled them and threw it into rubbish bin. He studied his palms that had looked like dried prunes. The grimace couldn't stop the regret eating up from within him. When will this stop? Will it even stop? He was tired of this routine that he kept on repeating everyday. Taking up most of his time.

It was a waste of time. Yet he couldn't stop himself. He tried. But the need was too strong that he just gave in.  Kyungsoo stared at his relfection throught the bathroom mirror. Will he grow old in this sorry state? He wanted to have friends to talk to but everyone thinks he was crazy. How was he to lead a normal life when all of his time were spent on cleaning his place?

He wiped away the tears. And strolled to the medicine cabinet in the kitchen to get his anti-depressant pills. The doctor told him he would get better with supportive people but how was he to find one when they all shun away from him?

Kyungsoo downed the pills with a glass of plain water then washed them in the sink three times before drying them of the dish rack. There was work to do but staring at the counter top made his skin crawl. 

Time to clean.

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