White is pure.
White means innocence.
That was what I ought to believe.

After the first school day my mind wouldn’t stop thinking about White. I found out his name was Henry Lau. He’s like almost all of us 17 and used to live in Canada, until he was forced to move to Korea because of his dad’s business. I didn’t find out much more. Orange, or Zelo as he introduced himself to me, didn’t want to tell me more. I asked him about his little orange message too, but he denied being the writer of it. Well, I’ve got to look further into him too, but White is my first priority right now. I already had a plan to investigate him, but to implement it will be hard.

/ / / / / / / / / /

Henry Lau. Ah.. He was one of a kind; well, everyone was, but I liked him the most. Everyone saw his perfect, flawless outer being. Everyone thought he was happy, nothing could make him cry, nothing could break him. Everyone believed the words innocence and pureness define his being. But I knew he never was any of this. I saw behind his shell right from the beginning. And what I found out about him, his story, it was unbelievable beautiful.

/ / / / / / / / / /

I wake up every morning at 6am sharp. After I did my daily morning routine consisting of some yoga, putting on my clothes and brushing my teeth, styling my hair, I go downstairs into our kitchen. Usually my dad's already awake, sitting on his chair on the center of the table, reading the daily newspaper and sipping on the coffee my mom made for him. As for the woman who gave birth to me, she wakes up even earlier every day, around 5-ish I guess, just to do some chores and prepare breakfast for dad and me. She's a nice woman, older than other kids my ages moms, but I loved her nevertheless. To be honest, I don’t even know how old exactly she is, I never asked, never cared. My dad is even older then her. He’s a businessman, making good money, while mom lost her job as an underpaid waitress few years ago. As of now she is a full time housewife, making my dad happy with that. He never liked her working, being a over jealous husband and always accusing her of cheating when she had to work overtime.

About my childhood, I can’t say anything bad. I was a happy, nice, good raised kid back then. People used to think I’d be a spoilt brat, always getting everything I wanted by raising my little finger, but I was far from that. Dad never bought me anything I didn’t need, didn’t deserve. If I’m totally honest here, he actually never got me anything. If I wanted to have some toy, some game, whatever I had to work for it. But I never complained. Helping the nice old lady next door with the chores and taking a walk with her dog, I liked doing it. And I was the happiest kid every time I got money, honest earned money, from her. Sadly she died few years ago.

I am grateful to my dad he never spoilt me, that I had to work for my money starting at young age. He was a good father back then, but the older I got and the more responsibilities I finally could take care of, he decided that I will take over his business after college. I don’t want to. I had bigger dreams. I wanted to be a singer, an artist. I wanted to share the happiness I got from it with others. But the one and only time I told him about my inner desires, that I don’t really care about the business and who will be the next CEO, he raised his hand on me. It was the first time he hit me, his face showing nothing but anger, and it wasn’t the last time. After his first slip we didn’t talk for almost a month. Beside the usual good mornings and thank yous, that is.

As soon as we started to talk again, I don’t even know why we did, I wanted to run away, punch him, break down and cry, end everything. My father is pretty famous out there, and he made sure that I’ll never ever be able to achieve my career as a singer. I never asked what he did, I knew that whatever he had done was final. I had no other chance then to take over his damn business. I still don’t even know what it is about. The only thing I know is that his schedule is a beast. Waking up around the same time I do, 6am, everyday and coming home at unbelievable times, between 2 and 3 pm. But that’s only if he’s not abroad for weeks, months. And I obviously don’t want to spent my precious time doing whatnot somewhere far away. But it already has been decided, there’s no way out.

I’ve been raised to be the perfect son. Not greedy, though we have money. Always smiling, even when I feel like crying. Getting straight A’s and being on top of all my classes. Hiding all that’s not perfect inside, and showing my flawless outside to the world. I never wanted any of this, I could care less about money, fame and good grades. I just want to dance, want to sing. And now that my future’s been predicted I don’t have time for doing the things I love anymore.

As soon as I fully comprehended that; that my life was over, I started to plan my self-destruction. I thoroughly planned everything, what, when and how. I made a list, wrote everything down that would finish me off, and followed it point by point. It took me four months to write down everything, to search through the internet and read books about self-destruction. And after I had finished my list I immediately started to put it into action..

A/N: First school week is over, and I've got time to write (: I had so much more in store for this chapter, but it would have gotten too long u.u Anyways, next chapter will be updated sometime next week^^ Leave comments, I like to read what you think about this <3 

Oh and Jaejoong won with 13 votes, look out for him! :D