It was their beginning.
  It was my end.
  I didn't think twice about it.

First school days. People always make a big deal out of it. 'The first impression counts.' I never liked that phrase. I never cared about impressing someone. Why would I. Whom is there to impress. I could care less about kids in High School liking me or not. It's not the world. One doesn't need approval of others, you have to approve yourself. What you think about yourself is what counts. That's why I went down the halls of my new school with no care in the world. At first glance I may seem like a boy, but when you look closer you see the sad eyes of a girl looking into your soul.

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A girl called by the name of Amber Liu. Amber Josephine Liu. She was a transfer student from America. A nice, down to earth girl, so she appeared. But if one would have known her, if one would have cared just a little bit, if one would have tried to see behind her appearance they would have known the truth. Truth. I am the only one who knows the truth about this girl. I know her. I know what happened, why it happened. I know why she said yes to the things one should say no to. I know why the beginning of them was their end. I know who they are. I know what they do. I know what they want. And they always get what they want.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Monday morning. Waking up was hard. I was used to sleeping in. Summer break is far too short. Well, mine wasn't. I don't know if it was a dream or not. Maybe it was. I saw a reflection. A blue reflection. It was really pretty. But it was only pretty until I realized what it was. This blue reflection I started to like, to love, it was the sea. The only thing I am truly scared of. Just think about it. No one really knows it, it's deep and wide, and silent. I always thought it was blue, but now after that dream I am sure it's not. It can't be, for it only is a reflection. By now I am sure that everything was a dream. Why I dreamed it I don't know, but it for sure has it's purpose. In this dream, I was a bird, a really pretty one. I was small, a really small bird. And now that I think about it, the world in which everything took place was really beautiful. It was so colorful. Everything was right, every color perfectly placed. And I was this little bird, flying around this colorful place, admiring everything, breathing this unbelievable fresh air, and then someday I stopped flying. I saw something in the distance. It was a color I haven't seen in this place before. I started flying again, as fast as I could, afraid this newly discovered color would disappear. The nearer I got the bigger the color become. I saw this cliff in front of it and sat down on it, looking down into the wide colorful field. It moved. And when I looked up, I realized that the sky had the same color. A color called blue. In this place there is nothing that had the same color as the sky, I thought it was because the sky is superior everything else. But when I saw this new wide field, that seemed to never end, in the same color, I was mind-blown. Thinking all the time that the color was special, nothing could ever compare to it, and then suddenly finding an area as wide as the sky and never-ending in the same color, it killed me. I felt empty. I didn't want to believe that something special could become ordinary so fast. It made me think about my being. Was I never special. Me, the little bird, in a place full of colors, all alone. What would have happened if another bird came, I wouldn't have been special anymore. Like the sky lost its extra, I would have become ordinary too.

My mom shouting my name brought me out of my thoughts. Oh yeah, right. First School day. Should I wear something special to impress everyone? Make friends based on my looks and my behavior that day, pretend to be someone I'm not? In normal circumstances I would have done exactly that. I've done in back than, when we still lived in America, but it made me always sad. When I slowly started to dress comfy like I always did at home, the people in school started acting weird, saying it's not cool to wear something girls aren't supposed to wear. I didn't want to start any fights back then, saying how it's perfectly normal to wear baggy stuff and jeans and print shirts, but I held my mouth shut. Oh you can't imagine how all my friends started to freak out when I cut my hair. If looks could kill, I would lie five feet under the ground by now. They didn't say anything besides a few side remarks I completely ignored and a few nasty glances. But I won't pretend anymore. Was I special back then because I fit in? I beg to differ, even if all the girls told everyone how special one is if they are in this clique I was in. We were all the same, no one was special. But was I special now, because I gave no about what the others may think about me being not the stereotype version of a girl? And yet again I don't think so. This dream about the bird, the sky and the sea changed my views completely. I'm not special..yet. I have to do something to become special. Thinking about this again made me sad. The sky became ordinary because the sea took its reflection. So simple, so fast someone, something can become ordinary. And with this thought I stepped into my new school.