watch this if you have time..some part of this fic is in the video

credit to the owner...she made a good video...i'm her video fan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Zld4pk835w

**

my project begin after i talk with yuri unnie...i decide to make a silent approach...i don’t want she look at me like i’m begging for her...

That the last thing or i will never do....i hope so....

I get a lot of help from taeyeon unnie....

Since i cannot talk with her because she doesn’t want me too, i write my sticky note instead....

I don’t make any afford to talk to her...

Today my first word for her...i stick my sticky note at her coffee mug....

I hate you...but i don’t hate you..

Every day i keep give her words...i know that doesn’t mean anything to her....

But at least i try....

I also put sticky note at her lunch box....

Do you know how to open this box? Do it yourself...i’m not beside you anymore

I don’t know what her reaction...cause i stop staring at her from now on...i just did this without knowing the result...

i send her that sticky note everyday....i learn to play guitar from manager oppa and everyday i secretly record myself and send her a video at her phone...

i don’t know if she watch it or not....

today i sing a song by maroon 5 – payphone (a/n : i dont even know if the slow version exist)  but i just sing it in slow version....i know i’m not good like taeyeon unnie in singing but i try my best......

some part inside my heart said that she doesn’t watch my video but i keep doing it until one day i said i tired doing this.....

i wonder when that day will actually happen.....

**

everything really awkward now...

it’s been two weeks since i stay in hotel....i tell manager oppa i need a break and wanna be alone...my company doesn’t concern about that though...

I still doing my schedule but i still can’t face her...she also avoiding me...only taeyeon unnie know all this...i make her keep a secret...i only trust taeyeon unnie....

My other member doesn’t know anything about this...they know i’m not close with yuri unnie anymore...but no one dare to ask me anything....

It’s better to keep it this way....

I sit alone in the balcony...i see the busy city of seoul....nothing attract me though...i only can see people busy with their daily life...

The wind make me feel shiver...i sit on the chair and keep thinking...is it the right decision to do all this crazy thing?...

If it right why i still lose her now? why she stay away from me...? there’s a thousand question in my head....

Why there’s a question when there’s is no answer...? it’s make me more frustrated.....

I let out a huge sigh....i feel tired now...i don’t know if any of this feeling even matter to her...

Should i keep do it? But what if she still the same....