The moment you came back with that smile, I knew it.

The moment you told me what happened, I knew it.

The moment he came to our dorm, I knew it.

The moment everything you talked about was him, I knew it.

I just knew... I had to let go.

***

Taeyeon's POV

We were just friends in high school. As we spent more time together, I realized that your place in my heart was more than a friend.

One sided love... it never is easy.

To love someone, knowing that they can never love you back.

Truthfully speaking, I dropped you so many hints... but you never seemed to notice.

You're not deaf or anything. You just couldn't comprehend any hints.

It was the first day of a new year.

Our senior year.

We took our usual seats, in the middle.

This time, a new student came.

The seat next to you was empty.

So he sat next to you.

During lunch, you offered to show him around, when some other guys could do it.

You told me to go back to the dorm first.

I watched television, while waiting for you to come back.

4pm... not back.

5pm... not back.

6pm... not back.

7pm... not back. 

8pm... finally back.

You wore a huge smile on your face.

"Taetae! Did you know that Taecyeon's father is the owner of the Ok Enterprise?"

"Huh? No."

"Well now you do. Did you know that Taecyeon's brother is in 2AM?"

"No."

"HE IS! His brother is Seulong."

"Oh... okay."

"What? That's all? He's your favorite in 2AM!"

"Great."

You looked at me as if I was crazy.

"Fine, I'm sorry. I was just really worried since you usually came home at 4."

"Oh... sorry. Taecyeon took me out to see a movie."

"Oh? That's great."

"Yeah! Kungfu Panda 2 was awesome."

I asked you to watch Kungfu Panda 2 with me, you said it was too childish.

He asked you to watch Kungfu Panda 2 with him, you agreed?

We were friends for 3 years and best friends for 2 and a half years.

You and Taecyeon just met today.

"Hello? Taetae?" she waved her hand in front of me.

"Huh? Oh... I told you it was great."

"You watched it already?"

You don't even remember me asking you to watch it with me.

My life... is a tragic one-sided love story.

Months passed and you always came home late.

You hanged with Taecyeon more than you hanged with me.

God, I don't even know if you still treat me as your best friend.

But today was the worst.

You came home.

"Taetae! He asked me out! Taecyeon asked me out! This is too good to be true!"

"Great. You wanted this right? Congrats." I told you, though I was hurting so badly.

I never told you how I felt.

Why?

You loved him. He loved you. 

Ever since you started dating him, there has been this glow to you.

You were happy. Truly happy.

Which was why I couldn't tell you.

I couldn't spoil it.

I couldn't be the cause of your sadness.

I love you too much to allow that to happen.

People said that things in life happen for a cause.

I beg to differ.

Heartache? 

Letting go?

Those two have no cause.

Maybe they do.

Their cause is to break humans down.

Break humans and kill them.

Yes... I'm breaking down.

Down into the depths of tatarus.

No matter what I do, I can't climb back up.

Why should I in the first place?

Should I climb up and break again?

Or should I just let go?

A few weeks later, he came to our dorm.

I avoided you whenever you guys were together.

I hid in my room.

But I would occassionally come out. 

To get chips or to use the washroom.

Of course, my timing had to go wrong today.

I went out and saw you guys making out.

I didn't need to see that.

I didn't have to come out.

But I did.

Even when I was tearing inside of me, I still held my facade.

Even though I hurt so much inside, I live through it.

I don't care. 

Because you're happy.

"Taetae~!" you said, just like an angel.

"Hmm?" I looked up from the book I was reading.

"We don't seem to hang out very often lately."

Because of him. You've been going on so many dates with him. "Oh? I've been very busy lately."

"Really? All I see you do is read these books."

"Yeah. I don't only read these books. I study and do a lot of homework too."

"Hmm. Okay. You wanna hang out today?"

"Huh? Oh... I can't. Got a lot of homework to do. Going to Yul's house to do." I lied.

"Oh... okay. Another time then." I heard a tint of disappointed in your reply. But I brushed it off anyway.

Then he appeared at the doorstep.

"Fany. Want to go to the movies again today?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

I can no longer live with this.

This pain... it's killing me.

I stayed strong for the past 5 months.

This is my breaking point.

I just can't take it anymore.

I packed my bags and left.

Left the dorm. Left the school. Left you.

_______

Author's Note:

I don't know why. But I just seem to write TaeNy with sadness inside all the time.

Weird...

Since I'm a TaeNy shipper.