Porridge

Now that I think about it, his temperature since last night was kinda off. Has it been since then? I sighed staring at his sleeping figure longingly. I noticed him shivering and I tried to stand up to go and get more blankets that I could use to warm him up, but even before I could manage to, I felt a tug on the hem of my shirt, and I turned to look at what caused it.

With heavy lidded eyes, Jongin was peering back at me, weak fingers clutching tightly as best as he could not letting go, as he mumbled faintly, "Don't go..." I scoffed teasingly grabbing the hand gripping at my shirt and interlaced it with mine. He's still burning. 

"I'm not going baby. I'm just going to get some blankets to warm you up more, you're shivering nonstop," I explained rubbing the back of his hand with my other free hand. My heart hammered wildly when I felt his grip tightened indicating that he has no intention to let go.

"I don't need blankets. I only need you." And those words were enough to make me shut up and exhaled deeply shaking my head, because of him being all chessy and stuff.

"That's so uncalled for," I sneered, "are you sure you don't need anything?" I asked and I saw how he opened his mouth slightly for a moment, hesitating to say whatever he wanted to say, and he managed to mumble softly, but clear enough to be understood, "you... just... you..." I was stunned for a moment. This guy seriously never fails to amaze me. How can he still act so freakin' y and adorable even though he's sick? He looks so fragile, weak and all. And aren't sick people supposed to look wasted and disgustingly unattractive or whatnot, but why is this guy looking the exact opposite of all those? He's seriously defying the norm.

"If it wasn't for that kiss, you couldn't have caught this you know," Tone of disappointment evident on my voice and I can't help it as I hang my head low, and gaze back at him. Even though he's feeling all weak, he still managed to offer a smile back, and I gasped when he suddenly hauled me towards him, so I ended up on top of him our faces were few inches away from each other, feets dangling at the side of his bed.

"And I told you right after you said it, I don't care if I caught it as long as it came from you," and my face heated up, blushing profuriously in front of him. Am I catching the cold again? I internally groaned.

"Is that why you woke up in the middle of the night last night? and you left early this morning without me..." And I saw him pout and I had to giggle at the sight, leaning my head at the back of my hand pressed on top of his chest.

"I just don't want you to feel guilty about it, I thought you'd get mad at me, that's why the only solution I'd come up with is to stay away from you," he murmured almost whispering and I hissed at him sitting up, "Of course I'd get mad after you'd left without a word earlier today, but if you hadn't done so and you'd just been honest I wouldn't have, and I'd never will, but not because of you being sick alright? I know you don't want me to get worried, but this kind of thing? you have to tell me alright? not just this... but everything that worries you. And when I say everything, I mean everything, everything that involves the two of us. Can you promise me that? Jongin?" Instead of answering back he pulled me into him once again trapping me in his arms, my head rested at the corner between his jaw and shoulder, and I can feel the heat emanating from his body, although suffocating I pressed my head even more at the nook of his neck, pressing my lips into his burning skin and I felt him stiffened, and a smile automatically drew on my face.

"I promise..." turning his head towards me, and our lips met in a chaste kiss, "Hyunjae-ah..." and I hummed in response tugging his fringe aside, "Can you be my blanket?" and I was stunned for a second a bit confused at what he was asking for, finally understanding what he meant so I nodded.

I crawled on top of him, pinning him, the blanket in between us. I saw how he frowned and I looked at him confused, "What? I thought you want me to be your blanket?" 

"Yes..." he said pouting, cheeks painted with crimson red as he mumbled lowly, "but under the blanket... with me..." and my breathing hitch, God how DARE he? how could he seduce me like THIS? please kill me now! I pressed my face on his chest to prevent myself seeing his stupidly freakin' irresistable face, and I heard Jongin mumbled in a muffled sound, "...jae I can't breathe..." that's when I realized I had pressed my hands on his face too hard.

"I--I'm so sorry..." And I chuckled a little and he just pouted. God Jongin could you not?

"Please...?" And the butterflies around my tummy started to dance wildly once again, as I pulled the blanket off of his body and crawling underneath it, laying on top of him, snuggling closer into his body. And have I mentioned he's not wearing any shirt on? his bare skin touching me, I'm amazed that I can still keep my sanity on guard.

I noticed a smile formed at the corner of his lips and I giggled biting my lip. Are you that happy? I commented mentally. I can still feel his body shivering madly and I had to rub each side of his arm, gaining leverage in one arm. I shuddered when I felt his hand travelled at my back, sliding his fingers up and down at my spine, sending shivers through it.

"You really can't keep your hands off, can you?" And my heart double flipped when his hands laid flat at my back this time, going up and down, up and down ─ way, way down, passing through the hem of my pants, right at my sacrum, and my eyes grew big at the touch. Just when I was about to say something he locked his lips into mine and my mind went blank, catching me off guard. I gasped when I felt him buck his hips upwards creating a mild friction between our lower body.

"J-jongin..." I managed to moan in between our kisses, "you need to rest," even though my mind is frantically screaming right now from ecstasy, I had to. I know he really can't keep himself from doing this, but I don't want to exert himself that could only worsen his situation. Like, this is so wrong, okay?

He dropped his head back in the pillow after I pulled myself away from the kiss, and he sighed covering his eyes with his arm, and can you please tell me why am i the one feeling guilty?

"I'm sorry," I heard him mumbled. 

I shook my head hastily, but after noticing he can't see me since he's hiding himself under his arm, I answered, "No, don't be..." as I pulled his arm down, leaning in to kiss him gently, and he did so in return cupping my face.

"You have to rest for now, you're forcing yourself to move so much and it's not gonna be good for you," And he nod himself hugging me tightly, and I nuzzled my nose and lips at his skin below his jawline.

I didn't notice that I fell asleep as well after I had forced Jongin to sleep. I woke up by the sweating body underneath me, and I had to force myself out of his grasp for a moment so I could wipe him. After I managed to clean him up, without waking him from his deep slumber, I took the chance to take another bath since I drenched myself from sweat as well, because of the heat I had received from Jongin, while I snuggled close to his bare skin. After taking a bath, I had decided to do someting out of character that I thought I'd never, and will ever going to do again ─ to cook. Out of impulse, I went to the kitchen to make something for Jongin to eat ─ but have I mentioned that I don't know how? ─ I tried to dial Kyungsoo to ask for some help, since he's the one who usually cooks for us before, aside from mom.

"What?" Kyungsoo asked in surprise.

"I said I'm not in school, since Jongin got sick, and I had to take care of him. So, can you please help me how to make that porridge, or whatever that thing you cook for sick people..." I said in exasperation browsing my phone for easy know-how-to-cook recipe for sick people.

"You'll what?" I can sense his shock expression reverbrating to my inner soul.

And I sighed deeply, "I said I'm going to cook..." and Kyungsoo was silent. I know what he's actually thinking right at this moment, but he choose not to inquire any further, and to tell you, I'm doubting myself too, but sometimes people have to make a decision and grow up someday, and I choose that someday to be today.

"Okay..." He said skeptically, then he added, "I hate to think that the reason why he got sick is because you guys made a direct contact while you're sick before, which they called 'kiss' or whatnot, but what the heck Hyunjae? you should have restrained yourself," And I froze at the moment. Does he really have to state the obvious? I said internally rolling my eyes.

"Hey! I didn't initiate it okay? what do you even think of me?"

"But you still did it right?" And I became silent out of guilt.

"Are you going to help me or not?" I deadpanned trying to change the subject. In the end, I didn't get a help from him, since I was having a hard time understanding his instructions, because he's in the middle of serving a customer when I called, and so I hung up after telling him that I can manage now, although I have no idea of what actually am I going to do.

Ahjumma Lee has been absent for few days now, since we've heard that his sister from her hometown had died. So my parents had told her to take a month rest to recuperate with all the stress she had suffer during the wake. So right now, all we have to depend on is ourselves.

There won't be really a problem if only one of my original family member were here, but unfortunately both mom and Kyungsoo were out. So that only left me with one choice, that is to depend on my inner talent. Shaking my head when bitter memories kept flashing back.

After an hour or so, I managed to cook a decent porridge for a first timer, or not. And again, have I mentioned that I have a prob with my taste bud? the main reason why i had never initiated or even make an effort to learn how to cook? Well, i do. I have a problem with my taste bud, particularly the salty part. The only thing I'm good at  is cutting or slicing fruits, which I personally learned from my mother.

I was staring blankly at the bowl in front of me, arms crossed, contemplating whether to let Jongin eat this ty thing I made, or not. And I scoffed at myself shaking my head in disapproval, when I heard a low growl by the kitchen's doorway.

"Hey!" I exclaimed trotting my way towards him, who was covered with a blanket. "Why are you here? You should be resting," I said as I palmed his forehead to compare his temperature to mine, and he's still burning.

With a heavy breathing he uttered, "I thought you're gone..." and I had to chuckle internally for how adorable he is being right now. I rubbed both side of his arms, the blanket in between, to create warmth from the friction, "I told you I'm not going anywhere," I said poking his nose, tiptoeing to press a light kiss on his lips while he nibbled my lower lip. I pulled him to sit down on the high chair in front of the isle, seeing him still looking tired and all

"What were you doing down here?" He asked and I had to glance at the bowl beside me, grabbing it hastily, trying to put it away, when I heard Jongin said, "Don't you dare throw that away," and I halted from my steps.

"This is not edible," I reasoned out as soon as I turned around, which is true in my perspective.

"It looks edible to me." He said seriously.

"It's too plain... I didn't put enough salt" I added.

"That's fine."

"Or maybe too salty? I don't know... becauseitsaidintheinstructionjustuseapinch,butIthinkIhadputmorethanapinchand--" I uttered continuously but was cutted off when Jongin sternly spoke the words, "Here.Now!"

Although he said it weakly, I can feel the seriousness in his voice. And my body reacted even before I could protest, placing the bowl in front of him. If you look at it closely, it looks really edible, and very porridge like, but the taste? I'm not really sure. After I taste-test it during the process, I burned my tongue and that only worsened the problem with my taste bud, that's why I'm not confident about its taste.

Jongin was staring intently at the bowl, not moving an inch and then he looked up at me, and I flinched. Really now, why did I? So I guess he doesn't really feel like eating after looking at it upclose. 

"I told you it isn't edible," I was about to grab the bowl to put it away, but Jongin muttered "I haven't tasted it, I think it's up for me to decide whether it's edible or not, isn't it?" And I looked at him confused.

"Then why..." I was about to ask him, why isn't he moving to eat it then, then I heard him said, "You're not possibly thinking I could feed myself right?" And damn, all the family of red painting my face in every corner and space of my feature when I realized what he meant.

I bit my lip with a frown, preventing myself from wailing to this guy for making me feel this way. And so I did the first scoop. I was really hesitating to shove the spoon in his mouth, but I still did it anyway.

I was waiting for a reaction, anything at all, but nothing came. He just opened his mouth after consuming the first one, and he did it until to the last bit of it. And I was biting my tears back from falling from embarrassment, or was it relief? I don't know how to feel after he finished all the porridge I cooked. Somehow I was scared. Why won't he say something? anything? Is he forcing to eat it or is it really that good? I wanna know... I really wanna know... I don't want things to happen like what happened before, but I didn't put too much in it right? 

"It was good," He answered as if hearing my thoughts, and I looked up at him. "it was really good." He said again, and without second thoughts I pulled him into a hug and tears started to roll down my cheeks.

"To be honest, it's my second time cooking a porridge," I admitted, and I felt Jongin nuzzled at the nook of my neck marking my skin his territory.

"And who's the lucky one who tasted your first?" He asked pulling out his one arm out of the blanket, pulling me towards him, as I stood in between his legs.

"My dad," And more tears came out, and I couldn't stop it. Jongin was a bit surprise when he heard me sobbing, then kept silent by the next second indicating for me to continue.

"You see it wasn't as perfect as this one, as I had thought it would be before when i first made it. I was seven then when I did it, and very foolish. Dad was really sick at that time, and I saw my mom cooking at the kitchen, I told her I wanna make something for dad, so Mom taught me how to do it. But I unknowingly made a terrible mistake without Mom noticing it and I had put too much salt in the food. When my dad finished eating it, minutes later, every one was panicking inside the house. I was left alone with Kyungsoo oppa. While my mom brought dad to the hospital.

"When mom brought us to the hospital the next day, because she said dad wanted to see me. My mom explained everything to me before I met dad, she told me that I had made a mistake but they're not blaming me for it. She explained me the mistake I did so I could be aware of it the next time. She apologizes to me as well for it was partially her fault for not checking it beforehand. I cried that time so hard, so much, after seeing dad with ugly straws and equipments attached to his body and face. My mom had told me, that I kept screaming at dad as to why did he ate it all if he knows it's bad for him. And all he just answered was, 'Because my pretty daughter made it for me,' and I cried and cried all night. That's why I didn't try to learn how to cook ever again, especially if it has something to do with salt... I really don't know. Stupid right?" During the moment I was talking, choking in between tears, Jongin was brushing my head softly, and I just held tightly on his body, my fingers boring red marks to his skin, probably from too much pressure.

Jongin let go of the blanket, dropping it to the floor with a quiet thud, as he cupped my face in between his huge hands, peppering me with kisses, brushing away my tears and I calmed down when he pressed his lips into mine. I can taste the porridge in his mouth as he glide his tongue at the slit of my mouth and he gained entrance, ravishing every part of it. The bitter memories I had was slowly being replaced with a new hope that I wouldn't make the same mistake ever again. His hands glided down at my waist, pressing me more into him and I felt him shuddered, that's when I pulled back to get some air even though he's a bit reluctant, and I stared at him, before bending down to pick up the neglected blanket on the floor to drape it back into Jongin's bare body. 

Jongin held my hand interlacing our fingers, as he pressed the back of my hand against his lips, and I did the same at his, making an indirect kiss.

"Thank you..." He said sincerely, "for making this great effort for me, in spite of the bad memories behind it. It must have been hard on your part, but I really do feel thankful and gratified,"

"You'd helped me overcome it. You might not feel it that way, but you really did help me... a lot!" I said stressing the words 'a lot', "You don't know how much I had change, in a good way, because of you..."

Jongin's touches were enough to let me know that everything is going to be alright in the end. And that sometimes people had to learn to let go of the bitter memories and took the chance to change for the better. 

[A/N] To explain more about the salt situation with Hyunjae's father. Hyunjae's father is sick, like terminally ill. And he had a heart disease, and the salt thingy...

Maggie: yes anyone can possibly die from consuming too much salt(sodium), it will clog your arteries which will cause heart disease which will cause you to have a heart attack and and as a result from on of those, death! 

Matthew: Yes you can. Salt causes vasal constriction which leads to elevated blood pressure. Too much salt would raise the blood pressure enough to where the person eating it could be at a high risk for a which can cause death.

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I don't know if I had met your expectation about this chapter, I just feel sad since I'm still stressed with school stuff. Starting tomorrow, I mean later, I have an examination to think about. Eight subjects for the whole week. And I wanna jump off of a cliff to end this misery life I'm having right now. >_<

But I had to think differently, because how my mind is running right now contradicts deeply with my story. I think I'm the one who needs some changing. lol

Please do comment if you find anything strange about the chap and I'll try to answer and correct it at the best of my left sane ability... Orz (since I haven't proofread it...)

EDIT: I tried to proofread it today. And I found multiple errors, I hope somehow I had lessened it.
I made some few changes btw, and added some new parts as well...kk

I feel a bit happy right now, since I finished four exams today, and I'm quite happy about the result...
four more to go, and those four subjects left are really stressful....and ty

As promised, the last chapter for this week, until next week guys!
I'm hoping to receive more comments so I could prepare for the next update sooner!

And please do UPVOTE and COMMENT if possible.

See you guys on the next update!

xoxo