Everything was going perfectly fine at the hotel, he arranged the date with his father and they finally decided when to do the press conference in the hotel conference room. It was a hard decision to make because making people enter there as a preview was a bit risky, but in the end, they decided to make them enter directly from the conference room's doors without letting them see not even the hall. They were going to be strict on that because it had to be a surprise for everybody on the day of the real opening party.

He had to call an old family friend for the table clothes the moment he received the sample of the chair covers.

"Hello aunty, I'm Lee Hyukjae do you remember me?" he said that morning on the phone, he was already smiling because that old lady was such a nice and funny person and she was the best in her field. She started with a small artisanal laboratory when she was still a teenager, right after the Korean war, she was pregnant and yet she worked hard to make sure her son was going to have a future. Unfortunately, she was widowed immediately because of the wounds her husband had after the war, so the only thing she could do at that time was put all of herself into work. She made her dreams of having a bigger laboratory come true and now she was definitely the best in Seoul. Her fabrics were always rich in detail and well made, and most important she used the best materials, making sure they always came from a controlled region, even importing them from across the world if it was necessary. He always admired her so much, every time he went to her workplace he was mesmerized by the big machines, all shiny and clean. She loved to tell him the story of her past, every time adding some details, making it look and sound more magical, and showing him pictures of old times. He knew that she probably added things to make it more romantic, because now that he was a grownup he knew that life was hard somehow, not for him, because he had been lucky, but for normal people, there was only hard work to overcome hard times.

"Ohh the young Lee, how are you?" the woman said cheerfully, she was 74 yet her voice sounded so fresh and young. He smiled again.

"I'm fine, and I'm calling because I need your service for an important event" he started to explain because as much as he loved to talk with her he knew that she was always busy working; she was old already and still she wanted to manage her business by herself, only letting her son work under her.

"Ah, well tell me what you need, I'll make time for you for sure" she replied, then she laughed in her usual way.

"Yeah, I need a set of table clothes, and I want them in fine cotton, just like only you can do. I think I need three sets of three round tablecloths and six other sets for large rectangular tables" he started.

"Ah why three? Do you want them in different colors?" he heard a weird sound, she surely had put him on speakerphone and she was writing down what he asked.

"Yes exactly, the upper one is purple, the middle one is a cream white and the other is a light green, I still don't know how they should be…I mean…" he was having a hard time explaining it because he didn't know much about those things and it had been already difficult to decide the colors.

"Ok…ok I understood, but purple on top?" the woman sounded surprised and mostly doubtful. He felt his throat getting dry, damn I'm so bad with these things…and she knows so much.

"Ah…I'm…I thought that those are the colors I choose…and it's light…light purple more like a lilac"

"Hyukjae, dear, putting a dark color on top would look too heavy, why don't we put the light green instead? And then we make the purple clothes longer than the white… what's the concept? You want it to look like a flower?" oh my, aunty you are so smart.

"YES! Exactly I'll have flowers on the tables and around the room" he explained, feeling a bit better, probably she was right putting the green on top looked better.

"What kind of flowers dear?" she asked once more.

"Ah mostly they are bell shaped"

"Perfect then! We'll make it look like that, with the right length it will look like a flower…almost, and the color coming from underneath the white will make it look more lively" she was right, now that he could portray it in his mind it was way better like that "do you have already the codes of the colors you choose?"

"Yes, because I ordered the bows for the chairs and the covers" he looked for them on his tablet and took a picture of the samples he had on his desk, ready to send them to her mail.

"Ok then, please send my son an e-mail, he bought a new machine for colors so now we can make them directly before coloring the fabrics, oh you should come to see it, it's like magic, but it's all computer stuff so I don't really get it…eheh I'm old, you know" she asked him, then she laughed again, and he could almost imagine her expression, her tiny figure bent on the chair of the office, her small eyes getting even smaller as her cheeks went up covering them.

"I'll come for sure then! Ah about the tables…" he started, but the woman stopped him immediately.

"Are those the usual ones?" oh my how could she knew?

"Yes, the ones my father bought before for other parties at the company" they didn't want to waste money on new tables since they already had them for those events, it was useless having more, because the restaurant already had its own tables, but they were too small for a buffet, and putting them together would have made them look too cheap. Big tables made with hardwood were definitely better.

"Perfect then, I have the measure in my database, so you don't need to bother sending me those too, make sure to send me the pictures of the flowers too, so that I can work better on the shape, because the rectangular tables may need more than one tablecloth for the top, just to put more movement on them" she was definitely the best, every detail was important to make her customer happy, and he was sure everything was going to be just perfect.

"Thank you aunty" he said grinning "I'll send them to you, you'll have more than a week to do them, but I'm sure with your staff you'll have no problems" he added, hoping he was right.

"Oh, of course of course, for you I'll make them work hard, don't worry…but what are those for?" she was after all an old woman, and curiosity was a character she couldn't miss.

"It's a party, but you'll know more in few days after we'll have a press conference" he said amused.

 "Ok…I'll be patient then. It was nice hearing from you dear, I still remember the young boy that used to run around in the laboratory, making all the women crazy, but now you are a man, and a handsome one, so be good and work hard, understood?" she was just like a real aunt, or probably a grandma, and he liked the fact she somehow always liked to scold him, being concerned and all.

"Yes, and I'll make sure to send an invitation for the event to you. Be healthy and see you soon"

Once he hung up the phone he sighed in relief, he was happy that matter was settled too, plus he was definitely happy he was doing that job. It wasn't something that only made him more responsible, it also helped him look back to old times, all the people that liked and loved him and his family, he really was lucky to have met so many nice people in his life and he was even happier he was able to grab his life with both hands to get it back. It had been hard to live for the last few years, he felt restless and sad, mostly lonely and abandoned, he had closed his world to others since no one wanted to enter with a sincere heart, but from the moment he met Donghae everything started to work again. He had found back his reasons to smile every day, and more than that he was enjoining his life as a privileged man he was, but this time working hard to get what he deserved.

Thank you Donghae, really, you'll never know how much you helped me get back on my feet.

~

The day for the press conference finally arrive, and he felt his stomach closing as the hour for the meeting with the reporters got closer; he wasn't used to going to such events, even when he had to explain something in the past he ended up not going and letting his father clean the mess for him, but this time he definitely needed to go. He was feeling extremely nervous and he wasn't even able to have breakfast that morning, his mother was concerned about his health but he reassured her "I'm going to eat once everything is done" he said, then he left the house and went to the hotel.

His father arrived after him and checked everything to see if it was ok, and it was, luckily, the reporters were arriving soon and the staff had been instructed to guide them from the parking lot directly to the conference room, not letting anyone enter the other rooms of the hotel. The conference room had a big table with microphones and some water bottles, for him and his family members, while the rest of the room had smaller tables for the others, the doors that led to the main hall were locked from the outside and even he and his father had to walk in using the doors from the garden. Once he was inside he felt his heart skipping a beat, it was going to happen, he was going to be revealed as the director of that hotel, and he had mixed feelings, of course, he was ecstatic but he couldn't help being worried for his future.

His mother arrived almost immediately, in one of her elegant dresses. She was there mostly as a moral support because she decided from the start not to say anything if she wasn't asked directly by the reporters. They all sat down waiting for the conference to start and once all the media had set down their instruments and had found a seat they all looked around confused.

"Welcome everybody and thank you for coming. Let's start now because I see you all are curious" his father said with a smile. There was a bit of mumbling till a man finally reached out his hand.

"Why do you make us come to a construction site Mr. Lee? And why were we escorted here as if it was some sort of secret place?" he asked.

The man laughed then he answered "because it's supposed to be a surprise. My son will tell you what's going on…" he said patting his shoulder and making him almost jump in surprise. Why me? No please no…ok!

He cleared his throat and drank some water before being able to speak "truth is…we are right now inside of our new luxury hotel" and as he said that there was a series of surprised ohs and ahs coming from all over the room "It's already complete actually, but we are keeping it wrapped like this till the day of the opening ceremony" he finished. Meanwhile, lots of pictures were taken, and the sound of the cameras was making him dizzy, but he couldn't just escape as he wanted to.

"So you are going to open a luxury hotel soon? When is supposed to be the party?" another reporter asked.

"That's exactly why we called all of you here, the party will be next saturday, and you'll receive your invitations soon, to know the exact time" his father replied, seeing that he was feeling nervous, in fact, he had been clenching his fists on his thighs to relieve some stress, of course not finding peace at all.

"It's going to be a big party? Is everything already set?"

"It's going to be an event for the city for sure, that day we'll open it officially so the ones of you who will want to see the rooms probably will be able to book one ahahah" he laughed, he knew the rooms were quite expensive but he was going to make a discount for them, another surprise for the opening. The reporters laughed with him, while Hyukjae was only able to smile awkwardly.

"But mr. Lee you are a busy man, how do you plan to manage the hotel too?" a man asked reaching out his hand and getting the approval of everybody else, it was surely a question everybody wanted to ask.

This time his father didn't reply, he smiled again and touched lightly his shoulder, as to tell him to speak instead. He gulped, and looked at him, probably looking more like a scared cat than he wanted, because the man smiled softly and patted his shoulder warmly. "I'll let my son reply to this question too" he said still looking at him, trying to encourage him. He didn't know what to think, was he doing it for real, or was he acting because they were surrounded by reporters? Still, he didn't care, he liked the feeling he got from his smile and looks, he felt a bit stronger anyway, hoping in his heart he was sincere. Let's do it Hyukjae, smile. He smiled back at him and then he looked at the people that were waiting for his speech.

"Truthfully, I'll be the director, so my father doesn't have to worry about it at all. I'm already managing it and I'm glad to inform you we have a great staff that will be ready to help you with anything you need during your stay here" he found his courage with every word he said, and from that moment on he felt lighter, he had said it and since his father was there he was sure no one would have dared to criticize him. They needed to wait and see his work if they wanted to say something bad; the moment he said he was going to be the director it became more real once again, and he decided that he was going to show everybody that he was worth his father's trust, that he was capable and brave enough to show it.

The rest of the conference went quite well and every reporter seemed satisfied with it. It had been a success and that evening they kept receiving calls from others that didn't have time to go there. One hour later the pictures were already all over the internet, it was strange how time changed it all, in the past they would have waited the day after, but now it was right there already.

That night they had dinner at the restaurant to celebrate, so his father had also the chance to taste their chefs' cuisine and congratulate him for his hard work. He felt happy, it was rare and it was precious.

Ah such a nice day after all.

~

The preparations were going pretty well and he worked hard to make everything perfect for the d-day that was arriving soon. One night he had to work till late because he wanted to finish with some checks on the rooms, he had done it so many times already but he was worried something was misplaced, the party was only a few days away after all. In the end, he felt so tired that he fell on his bed in the office, without even taking off his clothes. He slept well and relaxed but suddenly he heard a wild knocking on the door. What's happening? He frowned but still didn't want to open his eyes, so he hugged the pillow and hid his face in it. The knocking didn't stop and added to it he heard a voice screaming his name "Hyukjae…Hyukjae are you here? I couldn't reach you". It sounded like his mother, but maybe it was just a dream.

Suddenly the door was thrown open and his mother run inside "Hyukjae wake up" she said going near his bed and touching his legs, oh well mostly shaking vigorously them. He groaned once again but this time he decided to sit up on the bed. He had to brush his eyes with both hands because the light hit him hard, and when he finally was able to open them he saw that his mother wasn't alone; in fact, Minyoon was there with her and their expression matched perfectly.  The two women in front of him were staring at him and a worried and agitated expression was all over their faces.

"What happened?" he whispered feeling already uncomfortable. Minyoon went towards his desk first and after switching on his tablet she made a quick research on it, her hands were shaking, so he decided to stand up and reach her. What was she looking for on his tablet? The moment the girl turned it around and let him see the screen he felt his legs shaking.

"This is what happened" she muttered with sad eyes.

There in front of him was a picture and an article. He didn't know if what shook him more was the fact that he recognized perfectly the scene portrayed there or the words of the reporter. It was a picture of him and Donghae, they were looking at each other smiling softly and, in the lower corner of it, there was a macro on their hands, Donghae's fingers were brushing lightly his wrist. He remembered it clearly, it was the moment the other let go of his hand, after their night together. That was his front door, that was him wearing his pajama and him going back to his car. And then the title of the article The young Lees…friends or more than friends? He felt his whole body shaking, what the was that? He had been discovered? Just like that, ruining everything he had achieved with just a sentence. The article went on saying how he had been seen entering with Donghae in his house the night before and then going out the morning after just like that, like a lover that left that house early in the morning not to be seen by anyone. Then they went finding older pictures with them smiling at each other or poking their arms, or even whispering in each other's ears, creating scenes even where there wasn't any; they even had the courage to add one of the first pictures they had took together when he entered in the changing room with him the day they bought the y shirt. It was a disgusting article that made his heart ache so much.

He was petrified, he didn't know what to say or to do, why now? Now that I had announced the opening? They are throwing at me so shamelessly, now that I am weak.

"Hyukjae" his mother said touching his shoulder "what is this about…?" she asked.

"I…I don't know…I only went to his house to chat then I slept there…is just, I don't know" his voice was shaking he didn't know what else to say. He couldn’t tell his mother the truth, not in front of such a scandal.

"There is more director" Minyoon said looking at her phone and then handing it to him. He frowned but still he pressed the play button on the video she was showing him. He widened his eyes the moment he realized what he was looking at. It was Donghae being chased by reporters in front of his office, he was struggling to avoid the cameras till he was basically stuck in front of the main door. At that moment the guy decided to turn around and with an angry face say something to the people in front of him "Can you please leave me alone?" but it didn't help at all because the reporters were still putting pressure on him, pushing their cameras almost on his face, asking him to say something " This is ridiculous and I feel offended by the fact you all believed we could be in such a relationship. Is disgusting how you reporters create fake stories over nothing. Leave me alone or I'll call the police right away" he widened his mouth and eyes the moment he heard him.

More than his angry voice his face scared him the most, he was really annoyed, bothered, and disgusted, plus he looked really tired. What have I done? He felt once again his body weak, he wasn't even able to keep the tablet in his hands, but luckily the moment he let it go Minyoon was ready to catch the device and place it on the desk.

He went trembling towards the armchair and when he was close enough he fell on it, his eyes lost, he couldn’t see anything, he felt his mouth dry and suddenly a tear fell down his cheek. He didn't know what exactly made him more worried. He had worked hard for the hotel, he made sure everything was perfect and then… a scandal, just before the party "why…why now? They had those pics already for days… I…" his voice came out hoarse, and he kept shaking his head, not being able to understand why. He was restless, he felt like every part of his energy had left his body, the article shook him, but Donghae's words killed him.

He was feeling a strong pain in his chest, he kept repeating in his mind those words, ridiculous... offended…disgusting, seeing again and again his friend's face, the pain in his eyes and voice.  Was that the way he saw it? The way he felt? Their relationship was disgusting, no it wasn't true. But yet he had preferred if the other didn't say anything instead of being that harsh.

He had felt that those words were true the moment he heard them. Then reality hit him hard once more, he was putting his life and career in danger, Donghae had just started to have a good business and he needed all the luck to continue with his work. He didn't need him creating problems like that. Him, that had caused so many scandals in the past that made his family suffer so much, him, that was dragging the man he loved more than his own life into the darkness. He perfectly knew that in a country like theirs, there was no space for their love, it was already hard being homoual, but being a public figure was even harder. If they kept their relationship like that he knew that he was going to harm him even more. He saw it in his eyes, the anger for such a world he didn't belong to. Donghae never had problems in the past, he always had such an exemplary life and he was nobody to ruin it. He didn't like the image of him being bothered by reporters, all those cameras and flashes and the voices surrounding him.

What have I done? Putting you in such a hard situation.

"Hyukjae" his mother said touching his shoulder "it's ok…Donghae already cleared things for you…they are going to forget about it" she said. But no, it wasn't true.

"We have a party mom, what if people decide not to come? It's a huge scandal don't you get it? They made it to put me in bad light… for once I was doing something good and they needed to find a flaw…and now this…" he replied trying not to cry, even if his eyes were already filled with tears.

"We are going to work things out…don't worry, it's a big event, people won't just miss it for such a thing. You'll clear things up once again by telling them is not true" she added caressing his head. He looked at her, then he looked at Minyoon. The girl was silent, her worried face still there, she knew, she knew it wasn't a lie, she knew they were more than normal friends…she probably knew how much he was suffering. Looking at her he felt his world falling and crashing on the floor into pieces. He wasn't alone anymore, he had to protect people, not only himself, nor his family…nor Donghae, he had to think of all those workers that put all of themselves to make the hotel work, preparing for the huge event, working hard to have a future. With them he had to protect their families, they didn't even start and yet their position was unsure. What if the hotel fails? What if this scandal hit the customers, the suppliers, or even worse what if his own staff didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore? He wasn't a person to trust, they were in his hands and he was dropping them casually like that, letting others find out his true identity.

"I don't know mom…just…let me be alone for a bit…I'll come home once I'll feel like it" he muttered not even being able to look at her.

"Ok dear, just come quickly don't make me worry more…please" she said kissing his head, he only nodded and with her also Minyoon went out, leaving him completely alone.

It's not real, it must be a nightmare, it can't be real…he remembered his phone was switched off, that's why mom wasn't able to call me, and that maybe he needed to check it. He dragged himself towards the bed and fell on it, face down, reaching a hand to grab the phone. The moment it was on he received many messages, so many missed calls from reporters and people he had known once, then there were Donghae's missed calls and messages.

- Hyukjae have you seen the article?-

- Hey why don't you reply?-

- …are you feeling bad about it?-

- What should we do now?-

-Please say something…I'm worried-

- I've tried to call you and saw your phone is off…please call me when you read my messages-

- I replied to the reporters…I was so pissed by them…but I hope now it can be settled down -

He sighed, what could he say to him? Nothing. He didn't even have time to close the messages that he received a phone call…it's him, what should I do? Impulsively he slid the green button.

"Hyukjae finally I was wo…"

"I can't talk now" click. He closed the call immediately. Even hearing his voice was painful. He wasn’t able to talk to him, he didn't know what to say. To him, the person he wanted to call in every moment of his day, to him he didn't know what to say. He only felt pain. His whole body burning.

- Ok…call me when you are free… - that was too much, he could imagine him being all resigned typing that message. He felt his heart collapsing, and hot tears fell out of his eyes uncontrollably.

What should I do? I can't even bring myself to talk to you now. We can't…we can't go on like this, I have to push you away and let you be free, I have to clean your image from me, if I love you I have to let you go. I can't blame you if the moment you saw that article you disliked me a bit, I know you'll never tell me, but it's true, I'm bad for you and because of me you had to appear in such a bad light. If it wasn’t for me no one would have ever dug in your private life. But now…everything is broken and even if you were able to forgive me I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.

I think I need to say goodbye.

~