¢нαρтєя 2: ѕσυℓ мαтєѕ ^^

This dinner is definitely the happiest meal I've ever had in this 7 years.

Although Junsu had burnt the fish, over-fried the egg and added sugar instead of salt to the kimchi, but it really delicious.

Really, really delicious.

Because their honest intension and pure hearts, are the most precious and beautiful things to me.

"Yah, Shim Changmin, what kind of food is it? Did you bribe your assessor for the amateur cooking certificate or something?” Yoochun glared in fake anger at Changmin, gesturing slightly to the food.

"How would I know? At first everything was perfectly awesome, until Junsu hyung ran over after he saw its almost done, so of course the end product is rather ‘Junsu’!”

(A/N: Junsu’s chinese name is俊秀 which means handsome)

"YAH! I’m not that dumb to not know your hidden meaning! I'm telling you this and remember it! I am a genius okay? These food are all the BEST of the BEST okay? If you can’t admire my master piece with admirations or appreciate it properly then shut up, and don’t make wrong comments!”

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, it really is such a ‘best of the best’, Junsu.” I can’t help but tease Junsu slightly.

"Hyung~" Junsu whined and pouted. “How could you be like them as well?”

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” Changmin was utterly ROFL (rolling on floor laughing, in the literal sense in this specific case). “The best of the best, Junsu! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!” This time, even Yoochun had slipped off his chair in his fits of laughter. I gazed laughingly at the dejected Junsu while swallowing a mouthful of food painfully.

Since my dongsaengs made this, I will eat them no matter what.

After dinner, Changmin began to bug us on sleeping together.

"It is just a twin bed, Changminnie. How do you squeeze 4 full grown man on it?” I stated as staring in exasperation at the bed in Yoochun’s room.

"Hyung, you'll see that it is perfectly logical! Normally when I sleep over here we would squeeze together too! If 3 people can fit here, why not 1 more? From one third to one quarter, it is just a loss of one twelfth of the space right? Jaejoong hyung your waistline is 23.59cm, mine is…”

"Goodness, Changmin! STOP right there!!!!” Yoochun had to interfere after Changmin had continued his “reasoning” for 5 minutes and counting. “Hyung, just say 'Neh', else none will us will be able to sleep tonight.”

"But, I'm scared Changmin will 'sleepwalk' and hit me, didn’t he hit Junsu before?” I put on a fake-afraid look, wanting to tease the maknae.

"HYUNG! You are wrong about that! I-”

Seeing Changmin is on the verge of another of his “great speech”, Yoochun quickly cut him off. “Hyung, I promise Changmin can’t hurt you, just agree! Please?”

After gazing at both Yoochun and Changmin for a while, I finally couldn’t hold in the smile anymore. “Okay, sure.”

Changmin's look of pure happiness was then forever embedded into my mind. To him, having our company meant the sky to him.

"AH!!!!!!!! This blanket is so SO so heavy!” Junsu flung the blanket he had painfully dragged into the room onto the bed, collapsing onto the bed, complaining none stop ever since.

"It's only a blanket, Su. Aren’t you exaggerating a bit too much?” Yoochun asked with the ==|| face.

"Then why don't you go take it yourself, huh? You knew I have the energy but not the strength! HEH.”

"And you were the one who insisted on taking it yourself for hyung…” Yoochun complained under his breath.

"DID YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING?”

"Eh… nothing! Come on, its bed time!”

Maybe Junsu really is tired. He fell asleep a while after hitting the sack.

Changmin was soon to follow. OMO, he’s even drooling!

Suddenly reminded of the times when the 5 of us were sleeping in the same room.

That time, we would all gather to drink beer and chatter before getting to sleep reluctantly.

Beer, was bought by him, as forced by us, using the coins he had saved up.

Changmin was always the first to fall asleep, then we would take advantage of his semi-consciousness to ask him awkward questions.

Aigoo, Changminnie is so cute. He still hasn’t changed.

But, we can never sleep together as 5 again, or  force him to buy beer anymore.

I sighed softly.

"Hey hyung, can't sleep?"

Yoochun.

"You too?" I asked.

"Neh. Hey hyung," Yoochun asked after a slight pause. “Wanna chat?”

"Sure." We looked at each other and smiled.

We got off the bed carefully, trying our best to not awake Junsu and Changmin.

Our dongsaengs need good sleep!

After tucking them in properly, I followed Yoochun to the balcony.

Wow. This place is good! The city's night view gradually unfolds before us; while the stars sparkled brightly, shining down on this rare peaceful moment.

Yoochun took a jacket and draped it on my shoulders. “Hyung, it’s getting colder and colder now. How’s Canada? Is it cold too?”

"Mhm, much colder than here though.” Or perhaps, it’s just loneliness? Without him, my life had completely lost its color.

"How's business going?"

"Okay, I guess. Sometimes when it gets too hectic I’ll go help.” I rummaged through my pockets for cigarette. “How about you guys?”

"Not really too bad for me, only a bit strained when they are nagging about deadlines. After all, off-stage work is loads easier than on-stage. Junsu ain’t too busy as a teacher for singing at CUBE, the working hours are quite stable and everything. Changmin is starting his own business, plus his workaholic attitude, so he’s way more busy than us, but he always make time to party with us in the weekends.” Glancing at me, Yoochun frowned slightly. “Hyung, why are you smoking again?”

"I got too cooped up at Canada, so I started again.” Liar! You know it’s because you missed him too much! And now, I’m doing it again…

"Don't overdo it hyung. It's bad for your health.” As if mine isn’t bad enough…

“Neh.” Who cares? So long as it keeps my mind off him, I’m fine with anything.

I extinguished the cigarette and asked softly, “Then, what about him?”

No need to say the name. Yoochun will know who I mean by “him”.

"He… we rarely contact nowadays. Just that Junsu likes to send him Christmas cards every year. I heard that he’s starting his own company or something.”

"Oh." I forced myself to stay calm, trying to respond as unconcernedly as possible.

"Hyung, do you miss him?"

Do I miss him?

If I say no, then it’s 100% a lie.

Even though it had been 7 years since we had separated, there has not been one moment when he hasn’t dominated my mind.

I can't not miss him.

Whether I'm awake or asleep, standing or lying, crying or laughing, I am still thinking about him.

Even by every breathe, I’m searching for him by habit.

He is like a poison, deep into my soul, controlling my every move, while I am the willingly victim…

How can I not miss him?

After a long silence, I finally whispered my answer. “Neh.”

"Hyung…"

"I know you would think I'm a pabo. Right, Yoochun?” I smiled bitterly. “Not coming back for 7 years, but still thinking about him every moment of my life.”

Yoochun didn't reply.

A while later, I opened my mouth again. “Never mind. Let’s not talk about the past anymore.”

Yoochun just stared at me, distinctive sorrow in his eyes. His lips twitched a few times, before he finally brought out a sentence that froze me on the spot. “Hyung… this time you’re back… is it your…”

"A-aniya! Wh-what made you think that?” I stammered.

Yoochun… he knew?

"You can't fool me! Jae hyung! I’m begging you, tell me the truth, please!” Yoochun’s slightly red eyes pressed on me, calm but pressuring.

Really can't hide anything from him.

"You know it doesn't have a cure.”

Isn't it so?

In this 7 years, just how many times had I been rushed to the hospital?

I don't dare to imagine anymore. I don’t dare to cling onto hope anymore.

Because of it, I chose to lie, to not harm Yunho.

And this, only Yoochun knows.

"ANIYO! Hyung, you know it is not true! There’s this case in USA, that patient kept fighting and she was fully cured after 20 years!” Yoochun insisted, grabbing me tightly.

He wants me to continue fighting, I know. But this time, it’s different…

"Hyung, you will be okay! Really! ‘Cause you’re a good person! God will protect you!”

His belief in me used to give me strength, but…

"Mhm."

Mianhe, Yoochun-ah.

α/и

YES PPL I FINALLY UPDATED :D HOW WAS IT?? KEKE

wrote this while listening to changmin's a person like tears <3