I have to remind myself to breathe. Leaving? What? 

I get it, he's famous, but for a year?

My knees nearly buckle at the thought. Right now, I feel like a could spend a lifetime with him. The four months we've known each other isn't nearly enough. 

I wish I could get angry, yell at him for leaving me behind, but I just feel sad. "Let's...go home." I whisper, and turn away from him. I don't want him to see my tears. He walks behind me to the bus stop, and we get on. He sits beside me, but already i'm starting to feel as if he isn't there. 

"Jae Hwa," he holds my hand. I just stare down at it, trying to remember how it feels. A tear falls onto the top of his hand, and he looka up at me in shock. It's the first time he's seen me cry. Honestly, I'm not really a cryer. Every once in a while, if I see a really sad movie, or hurt myself really bad I might shed a tear or two. But I don't really cry.

He doesn't say anything after that, and neither do I. It's so ironic because we now know how much time we have left, yet why does it feel like he's already gone?

We arrive at my house after some walking, we stop at the gate. "Jae Hwa, I'm leaving, but that doesn't mean it's over."

I can't contain it anymore, "What do you it's not over! Of course it is! You are going for a year, Myungsoo, not a day!"

He looks slightly taken back by my anger. He tries to take my hand, and as much as I want to hold his, I pull away. "I know it isn't your fault," I say quietly, unable to look him in the eye, "It's you're job, you have to." 

I raise my eyes, "I just wish you weren't." I turn around and walk inside, leaving him in the gateway. Was I wrong to say that? I'm not asking him to quit his job and stay for me, I just want him to know. "Don't go," I whimper, wiping my tears on my sleeve, "Don't go."

----

I look at my calendar, the day Myungsoo leaves. He's called me nonstop, texted me, done anything and everything he could to get my attention, but I don't answer. Why don't I? Why can't I let down my foolish pride before it's too late?

My phone buzzes and I pick it up. 

From: Myungsoo

To: JJ

Hyun Jae Hwa. My flight is at 12:00

You don't have to see me off. I'd say

goodbye, but that would be too sad, so..

See you soon.

No way. This can't possibly be happening. He'll just leave? What am I even talking about, it's my fault in the first place. I cared and pretended I didn't. I look at the clock. It's only 9. 

"How is son-in-law doing these days?" Omma asks, pulling on pink rubber gloves to wash the dishes. "Omma," I sigh, out of energy, "I told you not to call Sungjong that."

"Oh whatever," she grumbles, "I asked how he's doing."

"He's..." going to Japan too, I'll be entirely alone. What do I do? Help. "He's fine," I smile brightly, and Omma smiles back, "that's good to hear," she says. 

After doing the dishes, Omma comes over to where I'm sitting and staring out the window. "Jae-ah," she calls sweetly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "He's not going to come, you know."

"What?" I look over my shoulder, into her old, wise, eyes. 

"Half the nation knows those boys are going to Japan, you think I wouldn't? I haven't gone senile yet!" Omma barks. 

"Go get him," she insists, squinting her eyes, "You don't have to force him to stay, but you definitely can't just let him go."

I look at my watch. 11:32. There's time. 

"Omma, I'll be right back!" I grab my bag and run to the door, pulling on my shoes. 

"Wait just a moment!" Omma waddles over and hands me a couple bucks, "Get yourself a cab," she winks at me, "It'll be faster."

"mm!" I nod and dash out the door. When I get to a bigger street I flag down a cab. "Take me to the airport please!"

I arrive at the big glass doors, people from everywhere seem to flood in and out. How am I supposed to find him in this? 

I delve in, trotting through the airport looking this way and that. I spot a girl with a banner that reads INFINITE. Bingo.

I follow her through the airport, and soon she joins a herd of girls with similar banners, fans, holding gifts and etc. I guess Myungsoo is bigger than I thought. I try to push through the crowd, girls scream at me and shove me back and throw me on the ground. I have to get in there. 

"Yah!" I shout, "I'm Myungsoo's girlfriend!" half the girls turn to look at me. "Liar!" calls one girl, "If you're L's girlfriend than I'm the president!"

I purse my lips and dig through my bag. I storm up to the girl and stop in front of her. I'm twice the size of this chubby middleschooler. I shove my favorite picture and Myungsoo and I into her hand. She looks at it, the one where he's kissing me on the bike. Her eyes widen.

I pull my hair out of my face and run it over my shoulder, "recognize me?" I shout, so all the fans can hear, "I'm Hyun Jae Hwa, I'm not 20, I'm not a model, and I haven't known Myungsoo for more than a year!" I scream at the top of my lungs, and in my mind pray this works. 

"It's her!" one girl screeches, recognizing me from the newspaper articles. The fans part for me and I shove my way through them, just on time, because INFINITE comes walking through the doors. The first one out is Sunggyu. He sees me, stops for a minute, nods ever so slightly, and keeps going. Behind him Woohyun waves, Dongwoo salutes me. Hoya, Sungyeol, they all pass, where is Myungsoo? 

Then, I see him. Walking towards the terminal, Myungsoo struggling to zip up his bag, and Sungjong behind him, shuffling through his bag for something. Sungjong looks up from his bag, and his round eyes meet mine. I smile weakly, because after all I've done to him, he's still this bright. Sungjong smiles widly, and waves to me, "Noona! I'll miss you!" He shouts over the screams. Sungjong fans all turn and glare at me. Myungsoo hears the commotion and stops to see what's going on. 

In one leap I bound over the bar fencing around the terminal, screw the law, who needs it. I run and wrap my arms around him. The crowd screams in protest.

"I'll wait," I whisper, he probably didn't even hear me.

"What?" he shouts, pulling me back to look at me. 

"I'll wait!" I yell as loudly as I can, all my energy into two words. "I might not be great now, but just wait! When you come back I'll have reached my dreams too!"

He smiles and laughs, and I try to remember what it looks like. I'll save it for a rainy day. 

"See you later," I say, and it's almost like saying 'I love you'.

"See you later," he whispers, and kisses me. 

----

Sorry it's so short and updates have been taking waaaayy too long! This story really was/is a work in progress and I thank you to all my subscribers who have loved it and followed it. 

Next week will be the last chapter, Thank you for everything!

I love you!