It’s way more difficult to meet the guys with a smile on your face after what happened last night.  

Imagine having to meet someone you love with your whole life only to know that you’re going to never see them again in after a month.

Well, you’re avoiding that though because you’re taking the bus that would take you to Kyungwoo and Yumi’s school, a scenario already playing itself over and over again in your head, hoping that A. You don’t break down in front of them and/or B. You manage to become your stupid self and break down in front of them anyway.

You come in accordance to their usual arrival time at school and you stand by the gate, waiting for their familiar selves to make their way through.

You are their sister, because when you thought they’d be coming, they are actually coming.

When they’re close, you stop them with a smile on your face.

“Excuse me, are you two Yoon Yumi and Yoon Kyungwoo?”

They look at each other and reply politely.  “Yes, we are.  Hello,”

Pain shoots up your heart as you notice the gazes they direct at you, the ones that completely doesn’t recognize who you truly are.

“I’m Jungah from Company 201,” You notice the flicker in their eyes.  Company 201 was the one you’re working for as Jihye.  “Your sister had gave me a message; if anything were to happen to her, I am to pass these to you two,” I dig in to take out my wallet and pull out a credit card, the deposit book and an envelope, where you (or, supposedly, Jihye, had put the password in).  “She wanted you two to use the money for college and she said to get proper work.  It has her whole salary,”

Kyungwoo and Yumi stares at the things you gave them, Yumi’s eyes starting to water.

“Thank you, Jungah-ssi,” Kyungwoo speaks up.

“You’re welcome.  Her message was for you two to not overexert yourselves in your part time jobs, to study well, to take care of yourselves and to live your lives to the fullest, happily,” The words escape your lips without permission and you lock your eyes with the two.  “She told me to tell you that she loved you very, very much, and that she was sorry she couldn’t take care of the two of you in a more proper way,”

“We’ll do so, Jungah-ssi, thank you, again,” Kyungwoo guides Yumi into the school, the two clutching at the things you gave them tightly to their chests.

You bow at them until they’re a good distance away before you turn and run away from the school, away, far, far, away, the wind whipping your hair back and blowing your tears away. 

At least they can live a good, long, happy life.

You stumble into a park and flop down on a bench, hugging your knees to cry harder into them. 

You’re never going to see them again.  Your siblings, the people you love the most in the whole universe.  You’re never going to see their smiles, listen to their bickering, watch their laughter fill your head, hold their hands, calm them with your embrace.

You keep crying, on and on until you tire yourself out, ignoring the stares people give you.

“Luhan, they’re going to live longer than me, right?” You ask quietly.

A text comes in and you tap your screen to read it.

Luhan [11:06]: Yes.

You breathe out shakily and lie down on the bench, letting your arms rest on your stomach as you close your eyes, deciding against the walk to school.  You’re skipping it today.  You don’t know what would happen if you have to see the three smile at you like how they used to. 

You scroll through your contacts, stopping at the name ‘Lay’.

Your thumb hovers over it and you quickly lock your phone’s screen, afraid that you’ll be calling him out of habit.

You should at least get Kyungsoo and Kai’s number.  It would be nice to know that they’re just a phone call away.

“I’m wasting my time,” You sit upright, pressing the dial button to call Lay.

It’s lunch, so he picks up quite quickly.

‘Hello?’

“Hi,” You clear your throat.  “Hi, it’s Aeri,”

‘Aeri!—‘ Rustle, rustle, thump, th-thump, crash.

“Hello?” You ask again.

‘Aeri! Where the heck are you?’ You hear Kyungsoo’s voice come through the line. 

‘Did hyung’s food cause you indigestion?’ Kai comes next.

‘Hey!’

‘Guys, calm down please.  Aeri, where are you? Why aren’t you at school? Are you okay?’

Lay.  Always the worry wart.

“I’m fine, guys, and no, your food was exquisite, Kyungsoo,” You smile into the phone.  “I’m, well, just somewhere.  Can you text me your numbers, by the way?”

‘Ours?’

“Yeah, Kyungsoo’s and Kai’s.  I have Lay’s already,”

‘Hey, Lay, you’re giving her your number without asking us!’

‘Slowpokes,’

Thump, thump, crash, crash.

You chuckle.  “I’m hanging up! Hurry and text me,”

You hang up, shaking your head at their vivaciousness.

You text Luhan for assurance, slowly making your way to your destination.

[12:57]: Luhan, can I see myself?

Luhan [12:57]: In the hospital?

[12:58]: Yeah

Luhan [12:58]: Sure.  But no skin contact.

[12:58]: Okay

You enter the hospital doors and go through the formality of asking the nurse where the patient under the name Yoon Jihye is resting.  Room 236, she says, and you nod a thank you at her, taking the lift and entering your room without even glancing at the room number.  It was all too familiar.

Sliding the door open, your eyes widen when you see the familiar back figure of an older man, setting flowers on your bedside table.

You’re too slow to escape conversation because he turns right then and recognition flashes in his expression.

“Jung, Aeri-ssi?” He asks.

“Y-yes, hello,” You bow at him.  How you wished that you could wrap your arms around him like you always do.

“What are you doing here?” He asks again.

You admit, it is strange.  “I, err, Junghoon-seonsaeng, you’re an acquaintance?”

“Ah, yes,” He looks at the unconscious Jihye, a melancholic look in his eyes.  “Let’s say that she’s a very dear student to me,”

You bite your lip to hold it back from trembling at the way he looks at you and the way he calls you his dear student.  He doesn’t notice this, though, he was busy staring at Jihye’s (or your) face, as if she would wake up any minute soon.

“Well,” He looks up, smiling at you.  “I’ll be on my way,”

You bow at him and watch him disappear down the corridor before having the room to yourself.  You sit by your own bedside and feel very strange as you look at your own unconscious face. 

Junghoon, Junghoon.  Your happy virus, your personal one-man band. 

Your lips part and you let your voice out, singing the last song you two sang together.

Neomu banjjak banjjak nuni busho
No no no no no
Neomu kkamjjak kkamjjak nollan naneun
Oh oh oh oh oh

You continue without rest, mashing all the songs into one sad melody, changing their courses.

Geubi dalla nam dalla
Tae tae tae taega dalla
I like it, I like it

Pyeonhaetni ne mamsoge
Ije nan deo isang eobneun geoni
Nan neol neol saenggakhamyeon
Neomu apa, apa apa

Joha boyeo ni balgeun moseubgwa
Juwie deullyeo oneun—

“Sorry! I left my guitar!”

You abruptly stop your singing when Junghoon comes into the room again, striding across the floor to grab his guitar.  He stops before exiting, turning his head to ask you.  “Is it just me, or were you singing?”

Before coming up with an answer, he chuckles to himself.  “Nah, it’s probably someone next door,”

He leaves then and a text comes in your phone.

Luhan [13:48]:Much too close, Ji

[13:49]: Shut up, I know.

Just then, another two texts come in.

*** [13:50]: Guess who this is

*** [13:50]: We’ll be checking if you get this right or not

You chuckle, saving the numbers as Kai and Kyungsoo respectively.

Lay [13:52]: You better get it right, Ae, because you’ll be treating us to ice cream if you don’t

“Kids,” You chuckle amusedly, hitching your bag higher up your shoulder and leaving the room after glancing back at your body.  “Exactly 4 weeks to go.  Hang in there,”

As you close the door, sharp pain hits your head, making you stumble onto the ground.  You clutch at your hair tightly, clenching your jaw to hold back a shout.  You have to learn your lesson.  Thinking too much never gets you anywhere nice.

“Miss?” A stranger’s voice says, a hand touching your shoulder.  A nurse comes into your view, a worried look on her face.  “Miss? Are you alright?”

You feel the pain subside and you rest your head on the wall.  “I-I’m okay,” You breathe out.

“You look very pale, miss,”

“It’s okay, a glass of water will do,”

You wait on the floor as she comes back quickly with a glass of water, which you gulped down quickly, feeling slightly better.

“Are you sure that’s enough?”

“Yes, it’s fine, thank you,” You stand up, grabbing her arm for support and managing to steady yourself.

You leave the hospital and carefully eye the traffic light, timing it right and crossing the street when the light turns green.

You drag your feet across the road and keep your head lowered, because it helps with the pain.

“Aeri!”

Lifting your head, you grimace at the pounding headache and manage to make out the familiar faces of Lay, Kai and Kyungsoo.

“H-hi,” You manage to wheeze out before stumbling forward.

“Aeri!”

A pair of strong arms catch you, and you don’t fail to notice it as Lay’s.  A bit of pain doesn’t really matter if it means you get to spend more time close to Lay.

“Aeri?” He calls in worry before he scoops you up, letting your head rest on his shoulder.  “Guys, let’s get her home,”

He doesn’t hear the “I’m okay,” you whisper.

You see Kai and Kyungsoo take your bag and the phone you dropped.

Before drifting to unconsciousness, you almost chuckle when you hear Kai and Kyungsoo say in surprise.

“What the,”

“She got our numbers right,”