“So how was the meeting with the director?” Sungmin asked. “Did you clean here or something because I can’t find the popcorns anywhere,” he added and put his head on closet.
“It went well. I really liked director Go. She was so passionate and knows what she wants. Although it will probably be hard, but I still wanna do this. I can’t wait to work with her! Up left Sungmin,”
“Aa! There they are,” he put them into the microwave and turned to face me. “Guess what Sora! We had a meeting today and they said that we will start working our next album!” he was really excited.
“That’s great Sungmin! I can’t wait to hear that! Wait, how many albums have you already made?”
“Six. This one will be our seventh. You really aren’t an ELF Sora. Every time you amaze me of your lacking knowledge of kpop,” Sungmin laughed. “Sora, can you give me a bowl or something?” he added.
I stuck my tongue out. “Don’t try to get me in your weird music-dance world. I’m fine and I have survived just fine until now. There you go,”
“Thanks. Anyway, I was thinking-” he wasn’t able to finish his sentence when Gomi all of sudden started to bark and jump all around.
“What’s wrong sweetie? Are you hungry?” I asked and tried to hold Gomi. But he didn’t want that. Gomi barked and run to Sungmin. He started to wave his tail and looked happy.
“I think Gomi likes you more than me,” I said and laughed.
“Don’t say that. I’m Gomi’s bro, you’re his omma. Of course he loves you more,”
“Maybe, but he could show it a bit more,” I sighed.
“Come on Gomi. Let’s go play in the living room so that your omma can make you some food,” Sungmin said and took Gomi with him. I sighed again and started to make some food for Gomi. I walked back to living room and put the popcorns on table. I started to play with remote and tried to find the right channel. Sungmin put Gomi down and moved next to me. I have noticed that he has been a lot closer than usually. It didn’t bother me because I really liked Sungmin’s company but yeah it was a bit odd. At least that’s what my make up artist had said to me.
“So what are we watching today?” Sungmin almost whispered in my ear.
“Love actually,”
“A boring love story again? Please Sora! One more and I will probably turn into a woman. I bet I’m already your gay friend,”
“That would be nice. I don’t have any gay friends. But I never asked you to watch this. You asked me what I was doing this night and I said watching a movie and you wanted to join,”
“Yeah I know, but still I never tho-” he couldn’t finish his sentence. It all happened so quickly that I wasn’t even sure what happened. All of sudden Gomi barked and jumped. Sungmin didn’t expect this and he fell right on me. When I opened my eyes I felt heavy Sungmin laying on me and saw Gomi running there and back. Sungmin lifted his head and looked at me.
“Sora are you alright?”
I just nodded. Sungmin sighed and looked relieved. He was laying on me and didn’t make a move to get up. His head was only few inches away from mine. We were just staring each others. Sungmin just stared at me and didn’t say a word. I could almost hear him breathing in and out. I started to feel uncomfortable. I tried to lift my head but then something stopped me. I felt something soft and warm against my lips. I tried to move away after realising that Sungmin’s lips were the one that stopped me. But Sungmin didn’t allow me. He pushed his lips harder on mine and made me reply to it. I was confused. I wanted to scream and stop this. But a small part of me wanted to continue.
I didn’t know how long we kissed. 10 seconds? A minute? Time just totally stopped. There were just him and me. I didn’t feel anything else than his soft lips against mine. It felt like I was flying. The only thing I heard was our lips speaking quietly to each others. Even Gomi had stopped making noise. And suddenly it stopped. When I felt Sungmin’s lips moving away from me the reality hit me. What just happened? Did Sungmin actually kissed me? Is this real? And it wasn’t an accident, right? But what the hell was I doing? I had just kissed Sungmin? How could I?
“Sora...” I heard Sungmin calling my name. I looked at him with fear.
“Sungmin..? What just happened..?” I was still gasping heavily.
“Sora-yah... I... I...” Sungmin tried to find words. He was still laying on me.
“Could you move a little bit? You are kind of heavy,” I asked.
“Ah! I’m so sorry Sora-sshi,” Sora-sshi? Why was he suddenly talking like that?
He quickly got off of me. He still sat on the couch but as far as he could. He didn’t say a word. He was just sitting there and staring at me. I started to feel uncomfortable. Why was he like this? I didn’t like it. We have always been so comfortable that I thought that there was nothing that could make us behave like this. Well apparently I was wrong.
“Sungmin, are you okay? You don’t have to be like this. Clearly it was an accident. So no need to-” I wasn’t able to finish because Sungmin cut off me.
“No! It was not an accident! Don’t you get it Sora-yah?” Sungmin sounded like he was mad and at the same time sad and disappointed.

You mean, you did it on purpose?

“I... I don’t understand. What are you saying Sungmin?” I was really confused.
Sungmin sighed heavily. “Sora-yah... I’m in love with you,”

I’m. in. love. with. you.

My head was totally blank. I think I heard the words, but I’m not sure what it meant. Sungmin said something. Something really important. Something about love. And something about me. Something about him. I think I heard what he said, but small part of me didn’t want to believe in it. I was really confused right now. Was he being serious? Or was he just trying to cheer me up? What was going on?
“Eee! Stop messing around Sungmin!” I tried to laugh and hit his arm. I expected him to laugh and smile and tell me that he was just kidding, but nothing. He was just sitting there and watching me. He looked extremely serious. I had never seen him looking like that. He looked so... manly. He wasn’t my sweet and cute angel. More like a tough and powerful soldier.
“Sora-yah. Can you stop laughing? I’m dead serious. I love you,” he said.
I swallowed. He was serious. He was looking at me. Like waiting. Was he waiting for me to answer? I wasn’t ready for that! Okay, and now I start panicking.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” I said and quickly stood up.
I didn’t wait for Sungmin to answer, I just run to the bathroom and locked the door. I leaned against the door and sighed heavily. Calm down Sora. There’s no need for panicking. Everything is going to be alright. You just heard that your bestfriend is in love with you. In. Love. With. You.
“AAAAARRRGGHHH!” I screamed to the mirror. Shut up Sora! Sungmin will hear you! I hit myself and tried to calm down. How did this even happen? Everything was going so well. I was over Leeteuk and my life was doing just fine. I had my movie and photo shoots and tv shows. My life was in balance. And that was mostly because of Sungmin. Sungmin...
I heard a knock on the door. “Sora-yah? Everything okay?” Sungmin asked. He sounded worried.
“Ne... Just a minute,” I said quickly. Okay great. And now he’s worried again. What’s wrong with me? Why on earth am I hiding in the bathroom? Good move Sora. Just great. I sighed again. This wasn’t going to solve anything. I just had to face Sungmin. I wasn’t sure what was waiting for me, but I had to do it.
I opened the door slowly and peeked. Sungmin wasn’t there. I sighed again and walked back to the living room.  He was sitting on the couch. He heard me coming and turned to see me. There was a smile in his face. I almost melted. That angel smile was too much. I bit my lower lip and sat on the couch, but far away from him. Sungmin realized that and smile disappeared.
“Sora-yah... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry I kissed you without your permission. And I’m sorry I blurted it out like that. I understand why you are shocked. Again, sorry,” he said. He sounded so weak and small. There was a long silence. I didn’t know what to do. Was I supposed to say something?
“I guess I should go...” Sungmin suddenly muttered. What? He was leaving? But Sungmin!
I grabbed his wrist and stopped him. Sungmin was surprised. He looked at me and was waiting for me to say something.

Don’t go.

Was what I wanted to say, but I just couldn’t. So I just sat there quietly and held Sugmin’s wrist.
“Sora...” he said softly and sat next to me.
“How... How long have you been..?” I couldn’t say the whole sentence.
“Ever since I first met you,” he said.
“What?”
“I have always been your fan, so obviously I liked you when we first met. Although at that time I thought that it was just me being a crazy fangirl. But then. After the shootings I started to think about you more and more. I just couldn’t get you out of my mind. You have no idea how happy I was when I heard we would see you again in that concert. And after that I knew. I knew that I wasn’t just a fan anymore. So as you can guess, I volunteered to show in that New Year special or was it a Christmas? Anyway, that time,” Sungmin just kept talking and talking and I wasn’t even sure was he talking to me or himself.
“And then you had that strike. Leeteuk really was sad and so was I. I wanted to see you. I wanted to make sure that you were okay. And then we met on that restaurant. I was so happy to see you and of course I forgot everything I wanted to ask from you...” Sungmin sighed.

FLASHBACK

I am really pissed off right now. The moment I opened my eyes on this morning, I knew that this day wasn’t going to be great. At first my morning schedules ended two hours late which meant that I had to skip my lunch and me without food ain’t pretty. And all afternoon went by reading screenplays and no breaks. It was around 8PM when I had my first short break. And what did I do? Go on internet and look for your husband, who hasn’t been calling you or texting you. And what did I find? A picture of my hot husband hugging a fan. And another picture where he was hugging some female celebrity. And by the way Leeteuk, that’s more like a girl than a woman. ert old man.
I sighed heavily. I didn’t mean that. I was just hungry and sleepy. Of course I was happy, that he was doing fine and was popular. And I tried to be supportive, but sometimes I wanted be jealous and angry. Why was he only allowed to do that? Why can’t I just for once get mad and throw plates all over the place? First of all, we weren’t living in a 50s movie and plus I wasn’t his actual wife. Of course I loved him. From the bottom of my heart. But I wasn’t sure what he felt. Was this just a show to him? I didn’t get him...
“Sora-sshi! We are here. I know that this screenwriter is very difficult person, but just try to get along with her. Have a nice meal with her and agree in everything she says. Okay?” my manager suddenly said.
I sighed and nodded. I opened the car door and stepped out. So I was going to spent the next two hours on hell. Well at least I can eat. I walked to that small french restaurant where my manager loved to come. There weren’t many people in, but I knew that this place was very popular. I don’t think that many idols came here which was good. I liked peace.
Suddenly I impacted to something. Or someone. I looked up and saw a young handsome man staring at me. He was wearing sunglasses that covered half of his face. The man was looking at me which made me feel really uncomfortable.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered and bowed. I was about to leave when that man suddenly grabbed my wrist.
“Sora-sshi?” he asked. I turned to look at him. How did he know me? A fan?
“I’m sorry, do I know you?” I asked and tried to sound polite.
“It’s me. Sungmin,” he said and took off his glasses. I squinted my eyes.
“Sungmin-sshi! Oh annyong haseyo. How are you? I haven’t seen you for so long!” I said happily. My day was saved.

FLASHBACK END

“You know why I asked if we could have a blind date? I wanted to spend time with you and I knew that the only way was to do it on the show. Sure I had to pretend that I liked that girl, but still I only looked at you. And then there was that weird spin-off. Which by the way wasn’t fun. Hyorin is nice girl and that, but not my type. And the reason why I did it. Well. I wanted to forget you since you already had hyung. But for me it was more like acting than actual feelings,” Sungmin sighed.
I just nodded. I couldn’t say anything.
“And then I heard that the staff members wanted to shoot really jealous Leeteuk. So they contacted me and I automatically said yes. I was so happy to see you again. But at the same time I was sad. I saw how happy and comfortable you were with hyung. It broke my heart. Of course I was happy to see you happy and that was why I didn’t say a thing,” Sungmin took a break and sighed heavily. I was still sitting there quietly and trying to understand what was going on.
“But of course I knew that your happiness was about to become end. Leeteuk was going to enlist soon. We didn’t know when, but it was happening. I thought that we, the fighting Junior would be there, when you end your marriage, but actually none of us knew that you stopped filming until we saw that on tv. Sure I had noticed that hyung was less happier and stuff, but I didn’t understand that it was because of you. I thought that I would call you or something, but Leeteuk forbad me. So I didn’t do anything and I just hoped that you were okay. And then we met about 10 months ago. You have no idea how happy I was back then,” he said and finally smiled.
“Okay...” was all I could say.
“Sora-yah. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do this. I’m sorry. I understand that you are shocked. And I don’t want to push you. I know that you just got over Leeteuk. And relationship probably isn’t what you want right now. So you don’t have to answer me right now. Take your time. I’ll wait,” he said and smiled. I just nodded.
“Well I should probably go now. Again Sora, I’m sorry,” he said and left. I just sat there and couldn’t move. I heard the door closing and Gomi started to bark. The TV was on and that movie was still playing. I didn’t see anything, only light coming from that TV. My head was totally blank. Something big just happened. Right? I had to answer something? What was the question again? And what was the right answer?
My life was about to have a new chapter and I wasn’t sure how it will go.

My whole life waiting for the right time
To tell you how I feel
Know I try to tell you that I need you
Here I am without you
I feel so lost but what can I do?
'Cause I know this love seems real
But I don't know how to feel

Hurt - Stay

I wish I could come to your house and kneel down and beg for your forgiveness. Last week I was working the whole week and I thought that I would have time to write, but apparently I didn't have. But still that's only an excuse... So sorry you guys! I really don't know what to say anymore... From now on I'll try to update once a week. Probably on Mondays.. I have these big tests coming and I try to concentrate, but I will still have time to write.

And thank you all you new subscribers :) me very happy. About the next chapter... what will happen? ;) and you guys, who don't want to read about Sora and Sungmin. The chapter where Leeteuk comes back, is called Rat race. But when will it come... Who knows? And please comment this chapter! I really want to know what you think about this! Because seriously, if you hate this, I have to write something new and I want to know it as soon as possible. I only want to write something that you would like to read. And if you don't like this, please tell me :)