“You wanna hear something that scared me yesterday?” Alex softly tries to lighten the mood.

YongGuk lets his hands fall and nods “Did something scare you? For real?” He can’t help but smirk slightly looking at the table in front of him

“Yea” Alex nods vigorously.

He looks over his shoulder at her “What?”

“A group of girls who thought I was a guy who said something about putting me in a cage. Oh, and the worst was actually the lady who was like 5 years older than me who pulled me down in the chair when I tried to leave. It was something in her voice... And the other one who wanted me to call her noona” Alex shakes her head and frowns. The mere thought of all that day really gives her the creeps.

YongGuk looks at her stunned for a second before he breaks down laughs “Girls scared you?” He shakes his head trying to contain his laughter “Big nasty guy trying to strangle you doesn’t, erted landlord doesn’t scare you but girls do?” He wipes a happy tear away as his laughter slightly subsides.

“Girls are crazy” Alex mumbles putting pressure on the word girls and crossing her arms making him laugh burst out into another laughing fit. Alex raises a brow and looks at him out the corner of her eye.

“Alex you are a girl!” YongGuk manages to say in between his laughters

“Exactly” She flashes a huge grin and straightens her back “Come on, you already know I’m bloody crazy”

“True” YongGuk nods as his laughter calms down. He breathes out feeling the tension his laughter had caused in his abs loosen and leans back. A relaxing silence spreads in the dorm and YongGuk looks at Alex thinking that she is really something else. He can’t quite figure out what he think of her. He can’t really see her as a girl but he can’t see her as a guy either. She is just somewhere in between but in a good way.

“So why were you with a group of crazy girls?” He smiles genuinely happy that she had changed the subject, even more so that she managed to make him laugh, it feels like it has been ages since he has laughed that hard.

“That was Seungho oppa’s fault, I was doing him a favor” Alex gestures with a hand and rolls her eyes.

YongGuk chuckles and looks down. His arms has wrapped themselves around him so he is slightly hugging himself. He finds that he just feels calmer sitting like that “Sounds like a weird favor”

“It was. It was two idols… Uhm can’t remember their names one from Beast and one from U-Kiss. I wanna find out because I have a bone to pick with them” Alex trails of but then gets back to the point “Well they were trapped because they had been so damn loud that the girls had noticed them. They called Seungho oppa who called me and I had to go act distraction”

YongGuk laughs again “Seriously?”

“You think I’m kidding?”

“Nah but… You are a girl” He grins and frowns a little

“Fooled you didn’t I?” She smirks and tilts her head

“True” YongGuk nods “But that isn’t really the same. How did you distract them?”

Alex gets a mischievous smiles as she leans a bit closer “Well I was dressed to look the part. When I got there I started out by asking them if they could help me because I was lost. Then I stared at them for a bit and when they looked uncomfortable and asked why I was staring I looked down scratching my neck while faking a blush and apologized saying I still wasn’t used to how beautiful Korean girls are” Alex smirks again

YongGuk laughs again. This time so hard he has to hold on to his stomach. He turns a bit towards her “That is ing brilliant”

“I know” She grins “Well that was actually enough to get them to focus on me and not the two idols. Seungho oppa then got them out” She scratches her neck “I think I made an impression and I think it was a too good impression seeing they wouldn’t let me leave afterwards. I finally had it when one wanted to touch my throat and I jumped over the table we were sitting at and ran off” She chuckles thinking back on how strange it must have been to witness “Woman should have kept her hands off me”

YongGuk laughs again and has to wipe a tear from his eye “You are never boring are you?”

Alex crosses her arms and tilts her head “Perhaps not. I’m too much of a mess of things to be boring” She smirks and nods a few time resting her eyes on the table in front of her.

YongGuk smiles softly “How is the apartment hunting going?”

“I found a place. I won’t be available for a while though” Alex shrugs and turns her head towards him

“That’s great” YongGuk smiles big. She just nods softly “Kind of scary really. I couldn’t find an apartment I wanted to rent so I ended up buying a place”

“You bought a place?” YongGuk’s eyes widen and he leans a bit forward.

She nods “You’ll be invited when I’m done moving in. The rest as well” a sweet smile plays on her lips.

“I’m looking forward to it” he nods and smiles a little as well.

“Where is your phone?” Alex then looks around as if a thought just her.

“My room I think” YongGuk is about to get up but Alex is already on the way returning shortly after handing it to him “You got my number now and I took the liberty to send myself a text from you”

“Sure” he looks at the phone in his hand.

“Oh yeah and I send your number to MBLAQ from my own” She smirks and sits down. YongGuk stares at her as she makes herself comfortable in her chair.

“How did you manage to do all that? You were hardly gone 5 minutes?”

Alex chuckles and sends him a playful wink “I got skills”

Then texts start pouring in and YongGuk stares at his phone instead. 5 texts to be exact. Alex chuckles “Cheondung told me they wanted your number”

YongGuk opens the text that arrived first

YAHHHHH! Good Alex got to you! I was worried you were sleeping, the others said you were tired. Cheondung

YongGuk raises his brows looking at the text again.

“You should answer them or I’ll be getting a text about giving them the wrong number” Alex smirks

YongGuk looks at her and nods. He is speechless and can’t quite figure out what they would want with his number. He takes a deep breath and starts moving his thump over the phone

I was asleep. YongGuk

He opens the next

Hey YongGuk we haven’t actually met so this is weird but hey nonetheless. Lee Joon

YongGuk chuckles and nods

You aren’t alone feeling that. YongGuk

He checks the next

I’m gonna have you hung if you ever hurt my baby sister! G.O.

YongGuk shows the text to Alex whose eyes turn big “God he is so possessive!” She pouts and shakes her head. YongGuk chuckles

I hear you. YongGuk

He opens the next

Hey Yong Guk. Both Alex and myself has been worried but didn’t want to just show up. Alex was afraid you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with her because of what she might remind you off. Please let her know if that isn’t the case. Seungho

YongGuk looks at Alex who is still pouting over the text ByungHee sent. The phone in his hand lowers and he looks at her for a bit before opening his mouth and when he does his voice is more submissive than he meant to sound “You thought I didn’t want to see you again?”

Alex looks up at him a bit surprised. She rubs her neck and her eyes moves uneasily about “Well yeah”

“That isn’t the case. I uhm…” YongGuk looks down feeling a bit shy suddenly. It’s really awkward telling someone who has seen you at your lowest and who you don’t really know that you like having them around. That she is a girl doesn’t make it easier. He doesn’t want to give her the wrong idea “You… are always welcome to visit us” he frowns bowing his head.

Alex sighs relieved and nods silently.

YongGuk returns his focus to his phone

I never got to probably thank you for that day. I really appreciate the help and understanding I was met with by the three of you. Thank you. YongGuk

He frowns seeing that the last is a mms. He opens it and a picture pops up of Alex and MBLAQ in a happy moment, all smiling big towards the camera. It kind of looks like the guys just rolled out of bed. Alex looks fresh though. He grins. This is the first time he sees MBLAQ all natural it’s pretty different form the chic look they show on camera. Their hair is pretty messed up and they wear no makeup and the clothes is kind of what he is wearing himself right now.

Our family! Welcome! Mir

“When was this taken?” Yong Guk hands the phone to Alex who laughs “Who send you this? Mir? G.O. oppa will be pissed!” She hands the phone back “That is taken the day I came to Korea, or rather the morning. I arrived at 3 in the morning and didn’t really know where to go. I hadn’t told MBLAQ when I was coming. I wanted to surprise them later but I couldn’t wait to see them once I was here so I went right away. 3 of them sleep in boxers that’s all I’m saying” She smirks

YongGuk chuckles “So that’s why they look like they just got out of bed”

“Yeah they literally were”

“So you woke them up in the middle of the night?” YongGuk grins

“Well kind of. I picked the door and entered. Then I went to try and find Seungho and woke him up first. He didn’t believe it was me until I punched him and then he got so happy that I was stuck in a hug for like 15 minutes” She grins

YongGuk chuckles and looks at the smiling faces on his phone “He really cares for you” He looks back at her “What are you gonna do here?”

Alex sighs and leans back “I don’t know yet. I have some loose ends I need to tie but after that” She looks towards the door “I really have no idea. Kind of frustrating really” She looks back at him and lifts her shoulder “But I’m just taken one day at the time”

“Sounds like a good way to do it”

“Yeah remember that” Alex grins and winks. She jumps up “I almost forgot” YongGuk watches her dash over to her jacket. The clothes look way too big on her. It is a mystery to him that he found her that intimidating to begin with.

She comes back over and hands him a wrapped CD. “Yeah it’s probably not your style but this band actually helped me a lot. Uhm yeah whatever” She drops the cd shaking her head and looks around “I don’t know, I felt like giving it to you” She sighs and walks away.

YongGuk unwraps it “Pay money to my pain” He turns it over “Weird name”

“The singer came up with it” Alex mumbles looking around “He writes about things that pains him, lost love and stuff. He named the band Pay money to my pain because as he saw it the people who pays for his music pays for the pain he writes about. Hence pay money to my pain”

YongGuk stares at her. “That is actually really clever” He looks at the cd “Better thought through than Best, Absolute, Perfect” he mumbles to himself. “How do you know that?”

“P.T.P. is a favorite of mine, it seems like it has been for a long time. I chose the best of their songs for you. It wasn’t easy” She crosses her arms “I don’t know when I found out the meaning of the band name. I just know”

“So you do remember some things from before?”

“Yea” She nods “I remember fact’s about the music I like, my driving is the same, skills like picking locks was from before as well. I have been told that I can be almost as scary… That I don’t get” She frowns and mumbles “I mean I’m not scary” She waves a hand in the air.

YongGuk chuckles “Alex you are kind of scary”

“I am???” She looks at him unhappy and pouting.

“Well not like that you aren’t” YongGuk laughs

Alex rubs her neck blushing slightly “Yah I don’t know” She sighs “I only remember stuff that meant something to me alone. Not the things that involved other people” She smiles a little awkward “Selfish huh”

Yong Guk looks at the cd “I… “ he lifts his head and looks at Alex who looks far off in thought “It’s not your fault Alex”

Alex sighs “I know but it kind of feels like it anyway…” she waves a hand and forces a smile “It doesn’t matter now anyway”

YongGuk gets up and walks over to the stereo putting the cd on a little hesitantly. As the music starts playing he looks out the corner of his eye at Alex who nods with the music as soon as it starts out the speakers.

It starts of soft and somewhat melancholic and then develops into a more forceful track. YongGuk closes his eyes and listens

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9m0nkjmep5k

Oooohh, another day comes
My past breaks into my memory
and it's coming again
With this smells it wakes me up so slow
Another day comes
The same folder lives in my life
It takes me again to where I will still be
I'm trying to fight for me
For my right
For my life !
Ahhhhhh !
As long as you are here
I will sing !
Ahhhhhh !
As long as you stand next to me
I will sing for you ! (Sing for you)

Remember where you came from
Will keep you real it seems so clear
Why was I afraid to go back
To that cold world and I won't forget
Save me, music
Kill me, I say
Raise me, my mind squirms into me
Why do I watch this life
When I don't take time to fill my mind
Ahhhhh !
As long as you are here !
I will sing !
Ahhhhh!
As long as you stand next to me
I will sing this forever

Ahhhhh !
As long as you are here !
I will sing !
Ahhhhh !
As long as you stand next to me
I will sing for you !
The music takes me... Breaks me...
As another day comes
The music brings me to a brand new world
The music takes me... Breaks me...
As another day comes
The music brings me to a brand day...

When the track ends YongGuk presses pause and a silence fills the room. Alex sits motionless and YongGuk looks at the cd case. He is the first one to say something.

“Another day comes…” he turns his head and looks at Alex “Is there some meaning to it?”

Alex looks back at him “It is just how it is. There will always be a new day, what has happened can never prevent a new day… not even death. Life goes on” she stands up and walks over next to YongGuk looking at the case in his hand “You just need to find that ‘thing’ that gives you strength to face the new day and hang on to it” she looks back at YongGuk “Remember that”

YongGuk lifts the cd “Thank you”

She nods shortly “I’m going now” she pats YongGuk on the shoulder and starts walking towards the door.

YongGuk is a bit disappointed to see her leave if he has to be honest. He runs his hand up and down his arm and looks down dragging his feet towards the door to see her off.

He is shocked when she places her hands on each side of his face and looks him in the eyes “Remember the only thing that defines who you are is in yourself. No one can take that away, remember who you are and what is important to you” She smiles and gives him a hug. He isn’t quite sure what to do and just stands there placing a single hand on her back.

Alex stands back with her hands on his shoulders. “Call me if you feel like talking. Promise me”

“I promise” he smiles and looks down.

She nods and smiles sweetly. With her eyes still on YongGuk Alex opens the door “In the blink of an eye is a beautiful song” She sends him a quick look over her shoulder before exiting the through the door. YongGuk watch her getting on her motorcycle putting her helmet on and drives off. The rain has almost stopped by now. He closes the door and walks back to the living-room scratching his neck. Softly he bites his lip and walks over to the stereo listening to the other songs one by one until he reaches In the blink of an eye. By now he has pulled a chair over to the stereo and is staring at the lyrics as the soft guitar starts playing. He takes a deep breath feeling the calming effect.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUnMyKiwSQQ

I find myself inside of you
It's very sweet to me
I never knew this kind feeling
I cried unconsciously
If we stay together
I will make you smile
and when you're feeling lonely

please remember me
please remember me

When you feel lonely
I will make you smile
you are not alone
you are not alone
cuz I am here for you

YongGuk swallows and frowns.

when I close my eyes I see you smile
It's an ordinary day
and I touch your face so gently
I'm afraid that you might break

If you say you'll leave me
I will try to smile
Does that mean you don't like me

I'm so afraid you're gone
I'm afraid you're gone for good

When you feel lonely
I will make you smile
you are not alone
you are not alone
cuz I am here for you
I'm afraid you're gone for good

It’s a really sad song and it makes him kind of depressed. The lyrics are so simple but express so much hurt, insecurity and love and sung with the raw and very , unrefined voice that is so honest to listen to.

He thinks about what she said about the band’s name. This guy who wrote this song must really have been devastated.

The one think he noticed being consistent throughout the whole album is that the vocal is completely . It’s not improved with technology and the emotions in the singers voice is so profound that even though the gentle soft track isn’t something he would normally listen to it really catches him.

He listens to the last three tracks silently. He is quite surprised how great he thinks the lyrics are. While the cd starts over he walks over to the couch and takes a seat.

Not much later the door opens and Zelo enters closely followed by the others.

“What is that noise?” YoungJae frowns as he comes in. They all walk in where they see YongGuk fast asleep on the couch.

“How can he sleep with that blasting?” Daehyun covers his ears and glares towards the stereo.

“I like it” HimChan grins and walks over kneeling down next to YongGuk. He quietly scans YongGuk’s face and can’t help but smile finding his expression the most peaceful one he has seen on him in a while.

“Don’t wake him hyung” JongUp says in a low voice and looks at YongGuk’s relaxed face.

“I’m not” HimChan says in an equally low voice looking at YongGuk as well. He knows YongGuk hasn’t slept well lately so seeing him so relaxed now is incredible. Now he is happy YongGuk stayed home. It was a bit of a hassle convincing the manager YongGuk wasn’t skipping out because he was lazy.

“Zelo get his covers” He stands up and walks over turning the music a bit down “If he can sleep with that let him sleep with that” He looks at the others who move to their bedrooms. Zelo comes back with the cover placing it over their sleeping leader. HimChan is turning the album cover in his hands “Pay money to my pain” He shrugs “It’s not Korean” He picks of the booklet with the lyrics “Hmm”

“Where did he get that?” Zelo steps over and looks over his shoulder

“I don’t know” HimChan looks at him “Off to bed now” Zelo pout and nods. HimChan puts the cover down on the table and heads to his room turning off the light on the way.