Jiyeon's Point of View

I opened my eyes to find myself leaning on Hyomin's shoulder, and her head leaning on my own. My fingers intertwined with hers, relaxed in her lap. Not wanting to wake her up, I remained in that position listening to the steady beat of her heart, and her deep breathing. We had been close before, we had hugged before, we've even shared a bed before. But it was never like this. There was never this kind of connection, it had never been like this. I enjoyed it though, this new feeling, the need to always hear her heartbeat. To always make sure she's breathing, the need to hear her live. To hear her be. To hear her be so close to me. She seemed at peace at that moment, so serene. I wondered what she was dreaming about. 

"Jiyeonnie..." Hyomin breathed. 

I removed my head from her shoulder, thinking she had awoken. However, once I did so, her own head fell on my lap and our hands released from each others embrace. Clearly, stil asleep.

So that's what she's dreaming about, I thought, smiling to myself.

I her long brown hair from her face and noticed that she too, was smiling. What a perfect girl she was, absolutely flawless, and yet, neck deep in her uncertainties and anxieties. How do I fix you Park Hyomin?

I thought back to last night, what had happened? I read out her deepest thoughts, pretty mean I must say, but necessary. The next thing I know, we're embracing each other. And after that...

A kiss.

I had kissed her.  She kissed me. Was it right of me? Or will I become yet another complicated emotion for her to write about in her notebook. Maybe we should just forget that it happened, after all, it's not like she loves me. 

But I told her I loved her. Did I mean it? Do I mean it? And oh god, how could she just forget that? Jiyeon, you've made a mess of things now haven't you. I come in wanting to solve problems, and then I go and create some more for Hyomin. How foolish was I to think I could help her? Idiot!   

It was 6 A.M according to the alarm clock in Hyomin's room, we had to get ready as we had a flight to catch in a few hours. I looked down at her once more, studying her serene expression, savoring it. Once she woke up, another expression would replace it. One filled with hopelessness, and fear. The thought of  waking her up, and ending her slumber pained me. I sighed and finally gathered the courage to gently shake her shoulder.

"Hyomin-ah, it's time to wake up, we go to Japan today" I whispered softly. Hyomin began to shift, but didn't wake up. 

"Hyoommiiiinnnn, we have to get ready now" I repeated, a bit louder this time. She finally responded by stretching out her arms (almost hitting me in the face) and blinking her eyes multiple times. She sat straight up, legs crossed, and proceeded to rub the sleep from her eyes.

"Mornin' Jiyeonnie" Hyomin said to me with an exhausted smile. I nodded and smiled in reply. I felt so comfortable around her, smiling was so easy with her. I hope that one day she'll feel the same.

I watched Hyomin get up from the bed and begin to walk out her door. Her hair swishing from side to side with every step. She stopped, turned around, and looked at me.

"Uh, Jiyeon?"

"mm?"

"Aren't you coming?"

Oh right, breakfast. I got up from the bed and too, walked out the door. As I passed Hyomin she put her arm around me and pulled me close. My face went pink immediately. Her face turned towards mine, and I could feel her warm breath upon my skin as she exhaled.  

"How did you know about my notebook?" She inquired.

Oh god. The truth was that I had gone into her room  yesterday, while she was washing away the stenches of her drunken venture. I was looking for a jumper to borrow as I hate shopping and thus don't have many of my own. I had noticed something sticking out from under her pillow, a notebook. I began to look through it, out of burning curiosity. She had many stories like the one I had read out to her. In fact, there wasn't just that notebook. I looked through her bedside drawer and another two. Pages and pages filled with similar stories, dating back from our first concert. At first, they were much happier, but with a sad undertone. Progressively though, they became more and more hopeless, her handwritting became more and more desperate. And her stories, more and more devastating. 

"Woman's intuition" I replied playfully, looking into her eyes. 

"Jiyeon, don't kid yourself, you are still a child" she joked back. 

Myself, and all the other T-ara members were sitting around the breakfast table. Soyeon informed us of today's events. We would arrive at the airport and be escorted around by security. There were meant to be a bunch of reporters there considering T-ara had recently been involved in a scandal. We were not meant to answer any questions. When we arrived at Japan, we would then be escorted to our hotel, where we could relax and prepare for tomorrow's concert. 

"Now everyone, work hard!" Soyeon encouraged, clapping her hands together. All the girls nodded in agreement. Except for Hyomin. I looked over and saw that she was staring at her empty plate, lost in thought. Apparently Eunjung noticed too because she headed over to Hyomin and hugged her from behind. 

"Everything o.k?" Eunjung asked, concerned. Hyomin just looked up and smiled in reply.

"Yeah of course, just tired. Been working to hard I guess"

"Haha, haven't we all," Eunjung chuckled and gave her another squeez before joining the other girls on their way out. 

Only Hyomin and I remained in the kitchen. 

The smile she wore for Eunjung had faded, and once more she was staring at her empty plate. 

I wandered over to her and I too gave her a hug. Resting my head on her shoulder, and wrapping my arms tight around her waist. Her hand held onto mine as if to say thank you. I took in her sweet scent, and enjoyed the warmth of her body close to mine. 

"I feel safer in your arms" She said to me, quietly, but urgently. As if, if she didn't say it now, then she may never get the chance to say it again. She got up and held my hand, smiling. 

"We should probably get ready" I mumbled, looking away so she wouldn't see me blush. 

Together, we left the kitchen, our hands locked onto each other's.