06. Shopping Trip gone Wrong

"Yoong, you know I hate shopping, right?" Kibum complained once again as we walked into the mall.

"No, really? I didn't understand that the other twenty times you told me on the way here," I laughed, rolling my eyes. I interlaced our fingers and began dragging him to the jewelry store. 

"Well, why do I have to be here?" He asked, reluctantly letting me tow him along. He had an adorable pouty face and for a second, I considered going home, but then I regained my senses. 

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because we're shopping for your mother's birthday present. I don't enjoy shopping either, but we'll suffer together," I said, wrapping my arms around his waist. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer, sighing. 

"Fine, only because I love you," he smiled. "And my mom." He added as an afterthought. I laughed and pulled him to the right. He obviously had no idea where the jewelry store was since he kept heading the wrong direction. 


"And I love you," I smiled, pausing for a second to give him a kiss on the cheek. I stood on my tippy toes, and leaned in so I could kiss his cheek, but before my lips reached it, he turned his head and kissed me on the mouth. I laughed and tried to pull away, feeling a little uncomfortable about public displays of affections, but Kibum grabbed my hand and held me in place. He began to make fake sounds and over-exaggerated movements of his head. I laughed into his mouth, imagining how ridiculous we looked as he began to completely dishevel my hair. I was definitely going to have some tangles. 

"Yoona? Kibum?" A voice asked, interrupting our fun. We broke way from each other laughing and looked around for the person who had called us. I instantly spotter her. Walking up to us was Son Eunseo, Donghae's ex-girlfriend, who has pissed me off for as long as I could remember. Probably because she went out with Donghae. 

"It is you!" Eunseo smiled as she came close. Surprisingly, she outstretched her arms and gave me and Kibum a hug. Sure, we had hung out before and watched some movies together, but we weren't like "BFF's" or anything. 


"Hey, Eunseo! Long time no see," Kibum said excitedly. Apparently, we were all closer friends than I remember. I just smiled at her and mumbled a "Hey".


Eunseo laughed. "I know, right?"

I hated it when people said that. I mean, it's like I just said it so obviously I think so too. You're only irritated because she said it. My mind told me. Why would she irritate me though? Other than the fact that she got to be with Donghae the whole time I was in love with him. She hadn't done anything to me. I guess I was just a little bitter.


"So how have you guys been? How's Donghae?" She asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but I could tell she really wanted to know about Donghae. I hoped she hadn't seen my eye twitch when she mentioned her ex-boyfriend. 


"We're good. Donghae's good too, and single." Kibum waggled his eyebrows at her. I clenched my fists. You want that. You want Donghae to be available. I told myself. It didn't really help convince me though. 


Eunseo laughed and blushed. Oh, how precious. 


"I wasn't asking because of that Kibum. I would like to see him again, though. I really miss him," she said shyly. Don't hit her. Don't attack her. I tried to calm myself down. 


"Well, lucky for you I'm his brother so I can make that happen," Kibum smiled, slinging an arm over my shoulder. I smiled at Eunseo too, but only out of politeness. "This Saturday we're throwing a surprise party for my mom. Our place at five. You should come, Donghae'll be there. He needs someone like you around, he's been moping around ever since he got back," he said, making a face. I tried to not look guilty.


Eunseo's eyes lit up at his suggestion and she nodded. "Of course I'll come! I love your mom and I miss hanging out with you guys. I was actually invited to the barbecue last week, but I wasn't back in town so I had to miss it," she said, making a sad face. 


"That's a shame," I commented. 


Luckily, neither of the two noticed my sarcasm, and continued talking for a few more minutes while I zoned off thinking. Would Donghae totally forget about me, and go back to liking Eunseo? Did I want that? Of course. I wanted him to move on and be happy. The two of us couldn't be together, I knew that, even if I want to. I mean, wanted. Past tense. Not anymore though, I couldn't.


"Alright, well I have to go. But I'll see you both Friday," Eunseo said, backing away. 


"See ya," Kibum waved as she left. I just waved. When she was far enough away, Kibum turned to look at me, a frown on his face. "Why were you so quiet?" He asked. 


"I don't know," I shrugged. "Why'd you invite her over?" I asked, feeling a little annoyed that he did. 


Kibum shrugged back with a confused face. "She's our friend. Was I not supposed to?" 


I narrowed my eyes and him and shook my head. "No, she's your friend, not mine. And you shouldn't just invite Donghae's ex over without asking him, it's rude."


"Why are you being so grumpy right now Yoong? Donghae will be fine with it. In fact he'll probably thank us for inviting her. I think he's been a little deprived in the romance area, if you know what I mean," Kibum said, waggling his eyebrows. I think he was trying to lighten the mood. Little did he know that he was just making the matters worse. 


"Not everything is about ! God Kibum. Maybe Donghae doesn't want to sleep with just anyone. Maybe he had a little more respect for himself and won't just hook up with his ex because he can. Maybe he's not mopping around because he's having withdrawals! He could actually be hurting or something could actually be wrong in his life! Inviting a girl that he can "get some" from over isn't going to help anything!" I ranted. By the end of my little speech, I had been somewhat yelling and my whole body was tense. Where the hell had that come from? I asked myself. Jealousy is a . Okay, maybe I was a little jealous. Or a lot. 


"Okay... Damn Yoong! What's your problem right now? I was just being friendly, and joking then you flip out," Kibum said loudly, looking irritated. He didn't get mad often, but when he did it was obvious. Right now he was definitely confused and frustrated with this whole conversation. "What are you, on your period or something?" He added. Wrong thing to say to me right then.


I pushed on his chest and he stumbled backwards a little, looking surprised. "Screw you, Kibum." I reached down and grabbed his lanyard with his keys on it from his pocket and began walking away before he could even protest. 


"Yoong! Where the hell are you going?" Kibum yelled after me.  


I didn't even bother looking back when I answered. "Home. Find your own way home, jerk."


"Oh c'mon Yoong!" His voice was fainter now since he wasn't following me and I was walking at a very fast pace. Instead of responding, I flipped him off. 


I may have been over-reacting a little, but I actually was on my period so that could have contributed. It was mostly the whole Eunseo thing though. Her and Donghae just couldn't get back together. That would be stupid of them. The two of them were an awful couple. 


When I reached Kibum's car, I sighed, realizing what I was doing. I was acting like a jealous girlfriend, that's what I was doing. Though, I had some rights to do that since I had loved Donghae for as long as I'd known him and when I'd finally had to chance to be with him, he didn't want to. Now, when he wants to be with me, I'm happy with Kibum. Oh God, it was all so messed up. 


I leaned my head on the steering wheel and took a deep breath before starting the car and driving home. It was best that me and Kibum weren't together right now because I was acting ridiculous and we would both say things that weren't meant to be said. 


Instead of going to my house though, I thought it would be smarter to go to the Lee's house since I was in Kibum's car after all. I would just hang out with Mrs Lee until Kibum came home, then he could take me home. 


I'd be lying if I said a part of me wasn't hoping that Donghae would be there and we could hang out like old times. Though I knew that things could never go back the way they were, I wished that we could talk and laugh the way we used to. He was one of my best friends after all. Until everything happened, I mean. 


I sighed as I pulled into the Lee's driveway and made my way into their house. When did everything get so complicated? I guess when I slept with Donghae. I brought this upon myself. I deserved it. 


Once inside, I looked around to see if any of the Lees were around. None were and I didn't feel like looking around so I decided to just go to the living room and watch some T.V. I was starting to feel bad about leaving Kibum since he didn't really do anything wrong and I had over-reacted. I knew I was over-reacting, but being the stubborn person I was, I didn't just want to back down and admit being wrong. 


As I sat down on the couch and the T.V, I checked my phone to see if Kibum had called me. He hadn't, so I assumed he found a ride home. Or he was just going to continue shopping which was highly unlikely since he made if clear that shopping was his least favourite thing. 


I decided to lay down and watch Spongebob. It may be a kids' show, but it was funny as hell. 


"You really are a child, you know that Yoong?" A voice said when I was about halfway through the episode. I sat up, startled and looked at Donghae who had just entered the room. 


"God, Donghae. You scared me," I breathed with my hand over my racing heart. He just laughed.


"Sorry, but seriously. Spongebob?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes at him. 


"Don't even act like you don't like it. How many times are we going to have to go through this before you admit it?" I laughed, laying back down on the couch. 


"Fine, I guess it's not that bad," Donghae sighed, lifting my legs and sitting down then laying them on his lap. I tried to not feel uncomfortable with him being so close, but it was a little difficult. This situation just felt too familiar. "Where's Kibum?" He asked, changing the subject. 


"I left him at the mall," I sighed, avoiding eye contact. 


"You what? Did you just take his car or something?" Donghae joked. The funny thing was how right he was.


"Yep," I said, popping the 'p'.


Donghae stopped chuckling and I could feel him looking at me, but I refused to look back. I was too embarrassed by my immature actions. 


"Seriously?" He asked. I just nodded and acted like I was super focused on watching Spongebob.  


"What did he do? I swear I'll kill him!" Donghae said angrily, standing up suddenly. My eyes opened wide, and I finally looked at Donghae. He wasn't one to be violent, so this side of him was a little worrisome. 


"Donghae! Calm down. He didn't do anything. I just over-reacted," I told him, trying to sound reassuring. Donghae relaxed a little but still seemed tense as he sat back down with my feet on his lap again. 


"Oh. Well, what happened?" He asked, scratching his hair. He was obviously embarrassed by his outburst. 


"Uh," I started, shifting my body a little. Now it was my turn to feel uncomfortable. "Well, we ran into Eunseo, your ex." I paused, trying to see how he would react. 


"You did? How is she?" Donghae asked. I tried to ignore the part of me that got angry when he asked that question and remain nonchalant when I answered, I failed though. 


"Well, she's just swell. Just like she was when you two were dating," I said sarcastically. Donghae raised his eyebrow at me, but I quickly looked away, blushing. Stupid jealousy. "Anyway. We ran into her, then Kibum invited her to your mom's party this Saturday because he thought you had been moping around. It was like he didn't think you have self respect and you would just sleep with your ex for the sake of sleeping with her! How annoying, right? It's like he's trying to hook the two of you up again when he really just needs to mind his own business." I crossed my arms and let out a huff. Donghae was still raising his eyebrow at me so I raised mine back. "What?" I asked when he didn't say anything. 


"Are you jealous of Eunseo?" Donghae asked with a hint of a smile. I could feel my face blushing as I dropped my jaw in surprise. Was I really that obvious. 


"What? No. No I'm not. I just thought that Kibum was being rude, that's all." I lied, shaking my head at him. He suddenly shifted his body and began to move closer to me. Before I knew it, his arms were on either side of my head and his face was inches from mine. My breath was caught in my throat and I tried to calm my heart down. 


"Yoona. Don't lie to me. Are you jealous of Eunseo?" Donghae asked again, his eyes boring into mine. 


I opened my mouth to say "no" but my mouth obviously had a mind of its own. 


"Yes," I whispered, looking down. It was silent for a few seconds before I finally raised my eyes back up to see Donghae with a huge smile on his face. Oh shoot, if I was jealous that meant that I still cared for him that way and he obviously realized that too. "But Donghae, that doesn't mean anything," I quickly added. 


"It doesn't mean anything? Like hell it doesn't mean anything Yoong!" Donghae shouted angrily, before pushing away from me and standing up to pace the room. I frowned at him, not liking him yelling at me. "Why do you keep denying your feelings for me? I know you don't mean it when you say you don't want to be with me. You can't have changed that much since three months ago! Have you seriously forgotten how we felt about each other back then?" He asked, looking hurt. 


My chest clenched as he brought up that night, remembering everything that happened. Remembering him leaving. Tears filled my eyes as I remembered how I felt when I learned that he was gone. 


"How dare you," I whispered angrily, standing up and moving closer to him. "How dare you even act like I'm the one in the wrong here! Have you forgotten, Donghae? Don't act like this is my fault, because it's not! I'm not the one who didn't want us to be together. I gave you my ity. I loved you for as long as I can remember. I wasn't the one who left. I wasn't the one who went away to college without even a goodbye," I yelled, tears spilling down my eyes. Donghae just looked confused. When he didn't respond, I decided to push him in the chest, hoping it would make him say something. Anything. "What's the matter, Donghae? Have you forgotten that part of that night?" I pushed him again. 


"Me? You're saying I left?" He asked incredulously. I closed my eyes, making more tears spill out. 


"No. I'm asking you why. Why did you leave me, Donghae?" My voice cracked when I said his name.


Donghae took a step closer to me but I took a step back. I couldn't be close to him right now, I didn't want to be. He opened his mouth to say something but at that moment, the front door flew open. 


"Yoong?" Kibum's voice yelled as I heard his footsteps getting closer. I looked away from Donghae and quickly wiped my eyes, not wanting Kibum to think something was wrong. It looked like Donghae wanted to say something but I walked away before he got the chance to.  


"In here!" I called back to Kibum. 


"I can't believe you-" Kibum began to say but once he entered my room, he asked suddenly. "Have you been crying?" 


Guess I didn't get rid of the evidence as well as I thought I had. I wiped my cheeks again quickly and smiled at Kibum. 


"We were just watching a sad movie," I lied. 


Kibum looked at the T.V and raised an eyebrow. "But Spongebob's on..?"


"I changed it because Yoong was crying too much and I couldn't handle it," Donghae spoke up from behind me. Good thing he was a way better liar than I was. "Anyway, I'm gonna go to my room, see you guys." 


"Oh Yoong, you and your sad movies," Kibum laughed once Donghae left the room, rolling his eyes. Then his face turned serious. "Okay Yoong, what the hell was that in the mall earlier?" 


I looked at him apologetically, feeling guilty about my actions. "I'm so sorry Bummie, I don't even know what my problem was. I just- I don't know, I just felt like you were getting involved in things you shouldn't have." I shrugged. "But it was dumb and you had every right to invite Eunseo." 


I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his chest. He began to my hair and I could feel him chuckling. 


"I forgive you Yoong. It's not a big deal, I just called Leeteuk to give me a ride home." He shrugged and kissed the top of my head. I squeezed him tighter and closed my eyes. 


"I love you, Kibum. I'm really sorry for acting crazy earlier," I sighed. 


"I love you too babe, and I forgive you," he replied. I smiled up at him and gave him a peck on the lips. He smiled back and pushed my hair behind my ear. "Now, wanna go watch Spongebob?" He asked. 


"Hell yes," I laughed, dragging him over to the couch where we both laid wrapped in each others' arms watching Spongebob for the next few hours.