*** Three months earlier...

I walked into the Lee house without even knocking. I practically lived there so I didn't find it necessary to ask for permission to enter. Plus, Mrs Lee got genuinely offended when I knocked. She always said that she felt as if I was apart of the family, and if I saw it necessary to knock then she and her family weren't doing their job of making me feel welcome. She could be so sensitive sometime.

"Kibum?" My yell echoed through the house. When no reply came, I started walking around, hoping to find someone. I hadn't told him that I was coming over so I was hoping he was home. I headed towards his room, knowing that's where he would be if he was here. I swear that boy never leaves his room. And when he was in there, all he did was play with his X-Box. He was such a boy sometimes.

I opened the door to his room, only to discover that it was empty. Dang. Where on earth was he? I thought. Since when did he have a life outside of his house? Sighing, I closed his door and headed for the kitchen. That was the second place he'd be. If he wasn't playing video games or sleeping, he was eating. I pushed open the kitchen door, and immediately froze. Kibum wasn't there, but his brother Donghae was. Oh, Donghae.

I had had the biggest crush on Donghae for as long as I could remember. Sure, it was wrong of me to like someone when I had a perfect boyfriend, especially since it was his brother, but I couldn't help it. The heart wants what the heart wants. Plus, it's not like I had a chance with the oh-so-y Lee Donghae anyway. He was a year older, I wasn't very pretty, and he saw me as a younger sister. Not to mention the fact that he had a girlfriend, well, kind of. Those two were on and off again every other week.

Returning back to the present, I realised that Donghae wasn't wearing a shirt, only a blue plaited sleeping pants slung low on his waist while going through the refrigerator. Fantastic, just what I needed, my crush standing in front of me half-. The fact that he had a flawlessly toned body didn't help anything. I blinked when I realised I was staring and immediately looked away.

Donghae realised I was there after a couple of seconds and grinned at me.

"Hey Y, what's up?" He asked nonchalantly. He grabbed the orange juice carton from the fridge and started chugging it. He was such a guy! Even though he looked so y when he did that.

"Nothing really, just looking for Kibum. Do you know where he is?" I asked, looking around as if he was just going to turn up. I looked back at Donghae to see his happy grin gone and replaced by a scowl. I wondered what I had said or if he and Kibum had gotten into some argument or something. I hoped it was the latter because I didn't know what I could've said that would make him react like that.

"He's not home. I think him and his friends were going downtown or something. It's just me. Mom and Dad had work today," he said, putting the juice back in the fridge and closing the door. I suddenly feel really uncomfortable being in a house alone with this boy.

"Oh, dang. Well, later then," I said, disappointed. I walked back out of the kitchen heading for the front door. I stopped instantly and turned when I heard Donghae call my name. He walked out after me, wearing a half smile. Man, it was breathtaking.

"Hey Yoong, why don't you stay? I'm going to be bored out of my mind if you don't," he suggested, walking closer to me. I considered it for a second before deciding, why not? I had nothing better to do and I always had so much fun when I would hang out with Donghae.

"Well, I have nothing better to do, so I guess I can it up and hang out with you," I grinned wickedly. Making fun of him was very entertaining because he always had the best reactions. Seriously, his reactions made everything ten times more funny.

"Oh shut up, loser," he smiled, messing up my hair. I slapped his hand away and acted annoyed as I fixed my hair. In reality though, my heart was beating furiously because of the contact we had just had. I was so pathetic.

Fifteen minutes later, Donghae and I were sitting on the living room floor watching Spongebob Squarepants. It may be a children's show, but it was funny as hell and I loved it. Donghae had complained when I put it on, but I knew deep down he really wanted to watch it.

I had just finished laughing hysterically at Spongebob's explanation of how he draws a circle when Donghae said, "You're such a child."

I playfully punched his arm and shook my head. "You thought that that was funny too! Don't even lie to me Lee Donghae, I know you did."

He laughed and ruffled my hair. I laughed too and quickly fixed my hair before concentrating on the show again.

After about a minute, Donghae turned to look at me and spoke seriously.

"I'm nervous Yoong," he suddenly said, ignoring the TV. I looked at him, a little confused then clicked mute on the remote, making the room eerily silent. Donghae and I had always been able to talk, I don't know why, but we just shared things. That's how I knew that I needed all my attention on him, not spongebob.

"About what?" I furrowed my eyebrows, and repositioned myself so I was facing him. I lightly touched his arm, encouraging him to talk to me.

"I don't know...college I guess. I mean I'm leaving in a few days, and I'm worried about how different it's going to be. Everyone expects so much from me and I don't want to disappoint them." He said, looking at his hands. If I hadn't know him for so long I wouldn't have understood how much pressure he felt to be so perfect. He worked his off his whole life to make people proud of him, and he was constantly stressing over it. Poor guy.

I gave him a sympathetic look, and put my hand under his chin, forcing him to look me in the eyes. He had to know I was serious about what I was going to tell him.

"Donghae, you're going to be fine. I promise. You're an amazing person. You're smart, good-looking, funny, and the list just keeps going. Everything in college will be fine. You'll have the time of your life and still manage to make everyone extremely proud of you," I told him, giving him a small smile. I didn't like to think about the fact that he was leaving. He was one of my best friends, and it would be hard for me when he was no longer here to talk.

His face slowly changed from worried to grateful. I knew my words of wisdom had helped get rid of all of his doubts.

"Thanks Yoona. I'm really going to miss you when I'm gone," he smiled, leaning over and giving me a hug. I awkwardly hugged him back, not feeling very comfortable since he was still shirtless. The least he could have done was slip on a T-shirt or something!

"I'll miss you too," I mumbled into his shoulder. I pulled away after a few seconds, but he still held me close to him. I was a little confused as to why he wasn't letting go of me. I worried that he was about to tackle me or something. He was a boy so rough housing was in his nature.

"Donghae...?" I questioned, suspicious about his motives. He suddenly pulled back, and grabbed my face in between his hands. He was looking at me so intently and I could feel myself blushing. There was so much intensity in his eyes that I wanted to look away, but since he was holding me, I couldn't. After a few seconds of silence, he finally spoke.

"You are so beautiful Yoona," he said, his eyes searching my face. My heart rate picked up instantly, and I furrowed my eyebrows at him. What is going on? I thought, wondering why he just randomly said that. Also, I was wondering why he was looking at me like that. He had never looked at me that way before... he looked so lustful.

"Thank you," I whispered, avoiding his eyes. I was starting to feel really self-conscious. I gave him a small smile, trying to make it obvious that I was extremely uncomfortable right now. He didn't get it obviously since he kept a hold of my face. His thumbs lightly ran across my cheeks, and I involuntarily closed my eyes at how amazing it felt.

"I love you," Donghae said suddenly, his voice longing. My eyes instantly snapped up to his face, checking for signs that he was serious. He looked dead serious to me... Then, I considered that I had misheard him.

"What?" I replied, my eyes wide. I was so shocked right now that I had no idea how to react.

"I love you, Yoona," he repeated, brushing a strand of my hair behind my ear. "You understand me. You know everything about me. You're gorgeous and funny and smart. You know what to say when no one else does. Every time I see you, I smile. Every time I see you with Kibum, I want to punch him. I know I shouldn't love my brothers' girl, but I loved you before he did. You were supposed to be mine. You should be mine," he said firmly. Towards the end of his discussion, he seemed to get a little more frustrated, but now his eyes softened as he looked at me.

I had no response. Seriously, I had been taken off guard completely. My brain had just shut off. Never in a million years would I have dreamed this could happen. The boy I had loved forever loved me back? Finally, my brain started working, well partially, as I found the words to say. I had obviously forgotten about my whole boyfried situation because the next words I said definitely shouldn't have been said or else they would kill Kibum.

"I love you too," I whispered, looking at him as if I would never see him again. I hoped this wasn't a dream, because it would kill me.

Before I could even react, Donghae's lips were on mine, moving fiercely. After getting over the shock, I gladly tangled my fingers into Donghae's soft dark hair. I had imagined doing this so many times but actually doing it was unbelievable. His lips passionately moved with mine and he pulled my body closer to him. Not even a piece of floss could fit in between us. His tongue ran across my bottom lip asking for entrance that I immediately granted. His tongue moved inside my mouth, allowing me to get the faint taste of his orange juice. He tasted so damn good. I moaned into his mouth as he gently nipped my bottom lip.

I had never wanted someone so badly in my life. I had never even had before, but right now, that was all I wanted. Call me a if you want, but I had loved Donghae all my life, and right now all of those feelings were overwhelming me.

Suddenly, Donghae began to pull me up to a standing position, never breaking the kiss. I went along with it, knowing that Donghae knew what he was doing. Once I was standing, I was in a much better position to kiss him. I ran my hands down his back, feeling him shiver. I pulled myself closer to him, closer than I thought possible. His hands, which had been on my face, let go and moved to my thighs. Knowing what he was about to do, I did a tiny jump and he pulled my legs around his waist. I clenched them tightly so I wouldn't fall, and moved my kisses down his jaw. Once we broke the kiss, I realised how hard we were both breathing. His pants turned into moans as I kissed slowly down his neck.

He grabbed my to keep me up as he walked down the hallway. I assumed we were going to his room, and when he lightly placed me down on his bed, I realised I was right. I resituated myself on the bed as Donghae crawled on top of me, making sure to keep his weight off of me. Grabbing his neck, I pulled his lips back to mine, needing more of him. The kiss didn't last long though since he began to move his kisses down my neck. I arched my back in pleasure as he reached where my shoulder and neck met. I couldn't hold back the moan that escaped me.

Donghae's hands were at the bottom of my shirt suddenly, and I raised my arms as he slipped off my v-neck. He unhooked my bra then and slid it off of me. I suddenly felt very self-conscious being half in front of his boy. I could feel my face heating up, and hoped Donghae couldn't see it. He suddenly pulled away and sat up, straddling me. He looked down at my body in admiration, before looking in my eyes.

"My God, you're beautiful," he whispered earnestly. I smiled widely, not feeling self-conscious anymore. Now I was even more sure of the fact that I wanted him, right here and now.

I reached for his jeans then, and began to undo his button. I could already tell how...excited he was. His hands stopped mine and I looked up at him, fearing that I was being rejected. Instead I saw him looking at me skeptically.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked. I instantly nodded.

"I'm sure Donghae. I want this. I want you," I smiled. He returned it and I undid my jeans as well, and he slowly pulled them off of me. I silently thanked God that I had worn y underwear. As he slid them lower off my legs, he began to kiss down my stomach, once again making me arch my back and I close my eyes in pleasure.

He hooked his fingers on the edge of my underwear, and after a second of hesitation, he slid them off. I could feel myself blush, being totally exposed. Donghae's face was then in front of me, smiling widely before he kissed me again, deeply. He removed his pants during this time. The second he pulled away, I took the opportunity to look at his perfect body. Dang, he was so flawless.

I wasn't nervous as he put on the protection. I was happy and excited. I was ready. I wanted this.

"Ready?" He asked, concerned. I smiled and nodded, pulling his lips down onto mine. Then, he took my ity.

I woke up encircled by a pair of arms. I was a bit confused as to where I was, and I grew even more so when I realised that I was . I rolled over and saw... Donghae? Oh crap. Suddenly, I remembered what I had done, and although I had wanted nothing more my whole life than to be loved by Donghae, I was still confused and guilty. I guess I had gotten caught in the moment, not thinking about Kibum, a boy I did love, just not as much as Donghae. I hadn't thought about the fact that Donghae was leaving on Saturday either. He was leaving me.

I slowly slid out of bed, trying not to wake the beautiful boy sleeping next to me. I took a second to admire how peaceful and innocent he looked. Feeling tears fill my eyes, I turned away and began getting dressed again. I had to leave before anyone discovered what happened. I couldn't leave with myself if I hurt Kibum this way. What had I been thinking? Sure, I loved Donghae, but enough to hurt the people in my life? I wasn't sure. I needed to think. I needed time.

With that thought, I rushed out of the room before Donghae woke up. I didn't want to talk about things right now. Tomorrow. I would come talk to him tomorrow.

After a night full of tossing and turning with being able to sleep, it was finally Friday. I was going to go fix this mess today. I had thought about what had happened nonstop since I had left yesterday, and I had come to a decision. I wanted Donghae. I needed him in my life. Kibum was amazing, but he wasn't my Donghae. The boy that I understood better than anyone and vice versa. I would have to break up with Kibum, then wait some time before letting people know about me and Donghae. That was my plan.

Barging into the Lee house that afternoon, I began looking for Donghae. I needed to talk to him about what happened and let him know what I had decided while I was gone. I couldn't keep the smile off y face as I walked down the hallway and into Donghae's room. Surprisingly, he wasn't there. It also looked a lot more empty than normal. He must have been packing for college. He was leaving soon after all. My heart sunk a little when I thought about that. Hopefully after we talked today, we could figure out what to do with the whole distance thing. I hoped that he wouldn't mind waiting for me.

"Yoong?" I heard Kibum's voice ask from behind me. I tried to maintain my composure as I turned around to face my boyfriend, who I had just cheated on with his brother. Oh gosh, I was such a horrible person. I smiled at him, and walked over, giving him a hug. It didn't feel right kissing him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, confused.

"I was looking for Donghae," I said, avoiding eye contact. "I wanted to tell him something." I shrugged.

Kibum's eyes softened, and he put both of his hands on either shoulder. He lowered himself so we were both the same height, and gave me a sad smile.

"Sorry babe, Hae left this morning." He informed me.

"Left?" I asked, feeling my mouth go dry. I had a feeling I knew where this was going, but I prayed I was wrong. Kibum nodded and stood to his full height again.

"Yeah, he left for California about an hour ago. He was supposed to leave tomorrow, but all of the sudden he started packing and telling my parents he needed to leave today. I don't know why, but he was acting weird. I'm sorry Beautiful, I know you wanted to say goodbye," Kibum said. I felt as if I had just been thrown in a pool of ice. I could literally feel my heart breaking. He left? Donghae left? Without saying a goodbye to me? Did he think that what happened was a mistake? He must have since he got so panicked over it. Oh God, this was awful.

I walked past Kibum, ignoring him calling my name and asking if I was okay. It was like I was totally cut off from the world, oblivious to everything around me as I ran home, feeling the tears fill my eyes. Once I arrived at my house, I slammed open the front door and pounded up the stairs to my room. I locked the door and ran to my bed. That's where I collapsed into a ball and began sobbing. I let out everything I felt: the disappointment, heartache, hurt, hatred, guilt. I couldn't believe he was gone. He left me. Donghae left me. I sobbed even harder at that thought and continued to until later that night.

As the months passed, I didn't hurt as badly. I realised it was a mistake, and it was wrong to be with Donghae. I loved Kibum, and I only had a crush on Donghae. It was different. I was different. Donghae had confessed his love for me, he even made love to me, but that was all a lie obviously. Well, I knew a part of me truly felt that way about me, but I just couldn't deal with it. I loved Kibum and I wanted to be with him. End of story.

That's it, peepo!

Nah, just kidding. We're just getting started! :P

Anywhoooooos, I'm really really sorry I took so long to update this! Was so busy I literally didn't have time to myself :/ Even had to go to the extreme of reading stories while in the toilet...doing my lady business. (:

Besides that, I had a serious case of writer's block, so yeah. FORGIVE ME MY PURPLE TURTLES. <3

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Hehe. Oh, it almost slipped my mind. To all Jessica fans! I've decided to write this exact same story, but with HaeSica/JaySica as the main pair. So to all Jessica fans, go check it out! Click here.