01. Guilty Pleasure

"Kibum?" I yelled, walking down the hallway. "Kibum, seriously, your mom wants you to come outside for dinner!"

I knocked on his bedroom door, but there was no response. Was he sleeping? I asked myself. Quietly, I slowly turned the knob and opened it so I could just fit my head in. I flipped the lights on. I quicky realized that he wasn't in here, it was only his spotless room with his bed still made. I turned the lights off, and closed the door, confused. Where was he? I walked deeper into the hallway towards his older brother, Donghae's room. I knew he wouldn't be in there, but I couldn't help but go that way. He had to be somewhere around here, and I had already checked the other half of the house.

I decided to skip Donghae's room, and continue to the bathroom. Lately, I've been avoiding Hae at all costs, ever since my mistake. It was just a one time thing. One weak moment, I try to convince myself. It doesn't work too well, though.

"Kibum?" I asked, sticking my head into the bathroom. It was empty. I sighed, and turned around to head back outside. My boyfriend was officially M.I.A (Missing In Action) "Lee Kibum, if you can hear me you bet- Eeeek!"

My sentence was cut off by my surprised yelp. I hadn't been expecting a hand to pop out of a room and pull me inside, engulfing me in darkness. None to gently, might I add. When I finally caught up with what was happening, I laughed, and tried to adjust my eyes to the dark to see Kibum. I couldn't see anything. Suddenly, his lips crashed into mine, kissing me passionately. I closed my eyes, not caring if I could see anything anymore. I wrapped my arms around his neck. This kiss was so full of so much more feeling than our normal ones. I liked it. I stood on my tippy toes, trying to keep the kiss going. His tongue rolled along my bottom lip, trying to find a way inside my mouth. I eagerly opened up, while pushing my body against his even harder. Suddenly, I remembered that people were waiting for us, so I reluctantly pulled away, taking a step back.

"Kibum..." I giggled, reaching out for him. "We have to go outside. Your mom wants us," I whispered. Being in the darkness just made me feel like I need to talk quietly. Plus, I didn't really want to go outside yet. I wanted a moment with my Kibum.

When I felt him about a foot away from me, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer to me, enjoying his body warmth. His chest was right against mine, as was everything below it. He leaned down, his warm breath now at my ear. That's weird, I don't remember Kibum being so tall. I shook the thought away as I closed my eyes, and breathed in his smell, but I was surprised by the scent. Wait a second...

"Guess again." The deep voice breathed in my ear before placing a kiss on my neck. My eyes flew open at the sound of Donghae's voice. I instantly dropped my hands that had been resting on his chest, and tried to step back. Unfortunately, that just pinned me against the wall. Donghae mimicked my step so we were in the same position we were just seconds ago.

"Donghae, no. I thought you were Kibum, this wasn't supposed to happen. I told you before, never again." I continued to whisper, this time in fear of someone hearing my words. Guilt suddenly spread throughout my body. I couldn't believe I had done this to Kibum...again.

"Yoona, please." He pleaded, still breathing in my ear. My heart clenched, and I closed my eyes. Not because I have no self control, but because of his voice. He sounded so sad and broken. It broke my heart. It wasn't his usual 'pass the salt please', or a 'please' that was full of lust. It was a genuinely pleading 'please'.

He set his forehead on my shoulder. "Please," He whispered again, but this time, his voice cracked. I closed my eyes tighter, unable to deal with Donghae hurting so much. I couldn't believe I was causing him this much pain. I felt the tears coming to my eyes. Stop fighting it, a small voice said. I shook my head. I couldn't do this to Kibum. I loved him, and he loved me. You love Donghae too, the voice spoke again. I wanted to tell it to shut the hell up, but a part of me wanted it to keep convincing me. I wanted it to be okay to be with Donghae right now. Think about that kiss. My heart leaped at the mention of the passionate kiss we had shared moments ago. Part of me felt so guilty, but another part wanted it to happen again. Had I really not known it was Donghae? Did I honestly think that Kibum had been kissing me? No. The answer came so instantly to me, that I opened my eyes. Deep down, I had known. And deep down, I knew I liked it.

With that thought, I slowly raised my hand to the side of Donghae's face. The tears coming from my eyes were slowing when I his face and whispered very quietly, "Okay."

His head shot up, and the little bit of his face that I could see in the dark looked so surprised and happy, that I couldn't help but smile. No doubt he had been anticipating a no. Heck, I had even been expecting a no.

Slowly, he bent back in towards me. I tilted my chin upwards. His lips lightly grazed mine, making me go crazy. He placed his hand on either side on my face, and pressed his lips more firmly against mine. This time was more gentle, more sweet. I closed my eyes, as our lips moved together, bringing my arms around his neck. I moved my hands through his dark hair, making him moan. Our kiss became deeper, and more aggressive, like we were hungry. I pulled his face closer to mine, as his hands made their way through my chocolate brown hair. Our breathing became faster and less rhythmic as our passion increased. He gently bit my bottom lip, and I gasped. He took the opportunity to enter my mouth with his tongue, moving it rhythmically. He lowered his hands to my back, getting lower and lower. He stopped for a second at my lower back, hesitating before going over my . I knew he wasn't sure how far I wanted to go. Heck, I wasn't even sure. But, I was lost in the moment, so I moaned and stood on my tippy toes to send him the message. He received it. His hands trailed over my , and I moved my hands to his chest. I could feel his muscles through his thin cotton shirt. He was probably just wearing a plain t-shirt , like always. Either ways, it was in my way.

I brought my hands to the hem of his shirt, and pulled at it. He understood what I was trying to do, as he reached his hands up to his neck to pull the shirt off, breaking our kiss for a second. In the back of my mind, I realised that he took his shirt off the y way. That thought quickly went away when I put my hands back on his chest, and felt his smooth warm skin. He bent his head down again, but instead of kissing my lips, he began to kiss my neck, and under my chin. I tilted my head in pleasure, letting out another moan. When I moaned, he grabbed my thighs and pulled them up as I jumped a little. My legs were now wrapped around Donghae's waist with my back pressed firmly up against the wall. He began playing with the hem of my shirt, still unsure if I was willing to go that far. I guess at the time I was, because I lifted my arms in response. Being so lost in the moment, I didn't realize what an awful person I was.

He pulled the shirt off of me, and threw it aside, then began to kiss the skin now showing. Along my collar bone, down to my cleavage, pretty much every part above my bra was kissed. Before I knew it, he had brought me over to his bed, and gently laid me down. He put his arms, on either side of my head holding up his own weight as our lips found each others' again. His tongue instantly entered my mouth again, and I wrapped my legs even tighter around him. Running my hands all down his back, I realized how muscular he really was. When had that happened? He shifted his weight onto one of his hands, and with the other hand he began fumbling with my jeans. Just as he ed them, we both froze.

"Yoona? Did you get lost?" Kibum yelled, laughing. Donghae and I instantly stopped upon hearing his voice so close to the room.

We recovered after a second and began scrambling to hide the evidence of what we just did. Oh gosh, what had we just done?! How could I do that to Kibum? Sure, I might feel a little something towards Lee Donghae, I mean who wouldn't be. He was the best looking guy I had ever seen. I don't know how else to describe him. His silky brown hair that always fall into place perfectly; his dark brown eyes,  and his smile, oh gosh his smile. His dimples that girls fall at his feet fall. His tall muscular body. Stop it! You're with Kibum! My mind yelled. I almost wanted to laugh; where was that voice when I almost had with his brother?

The knock at the door snapped me back to the present situation. I ran and grabbed my shirt, before throwing myself underneath Donghae's bed. Keep in mind it was still pitch black in the room, so I couldn't see anything. I ran into a couple things on my way there, and I was pretty positive they were going to leave bruises.

"Hae? Have you seen Yoona?" Kibum asked, as he slowly opened the door. I could see his shoes from the light he was letting in from the hallway. I looked around for Donghae's shoes but couldn't see them. He must've been laying on the bed. I kind of lost track of what he was doing in my panic to hide the evidence of the awful crime we had just committed. My thoughts on his location were confirmed when he replied to his younger brother.

"Huh? Oh nope." He replied, nonchalantly. My jaw almost dropped at how believable and calm he was. I would be freaking out! Heck, I was freaking out!

Kibum began to close the door, then stopped and opened it again. Oh god, he saw me! We caught! Stupid, stupid me! How could I have done this? I deserved for him to break up with me. I prepared for Kibum to walk over to the bed and get on his knees and look at me. Surprisingly though, he didn't.

"Why are you sitting in the dark without a shirt, dude?" Kibum asked, suddenly. There was an awkward moment of silence before Donghae spoke.

"I was trying to catch up on sleep. I had a long night last night," Donghae answered, and I could just picture him shrugging. Kibum laughed.

"Gotcha," He said, before finally closing the door, and continuing to call my name. I let out a long sigh, and closed my eyes. My heart was about to explode from beating so fast. When it settled down a bit, I rolled out from under the bed, and quickly put my shirt back on, avoiding eye contact with Donghae. Things should never have gone that far, and now everything was screwed up.

"You ever going to look at me again, Yoong?" His deep voice spoke sadly from behind me. I spun around quickly, startled. I hadn't realized he had moved from the bed. He was standing so close to me, that when I turned around, we were touching chests.

I took a quick step back, and reached out to the light switch. Turning it on, I caught a glimpse of his face, looking so sad and hurt. God, I hated doing this to him! Why couldn't he just go after someone else? Why did he have to tell me how he felt three months ago before he left for college? Why couldn't things just go back to normal: when I had a secret crush on him and there was no chance he would ever notice me. Until he did.

"I'm sorry Donghae. I just- I can't." I said quietly, still looking away. With that, I walked to his door, and walked out. Luckily the hallway was empty. It would have looked suspicious if someone saw me coming out of the hot elder son's bedroom, more than likely I had just been in a windstorm. Quickly, I walked to the bathroom and locked the door. I examined my appearance and was appalled by what I saw. My long hair was going every direction, my shirt was on backwards, my lips extra red and extra plump, my eyes were filled with tears. What a great barbecue huh? I had just come over with my family to catch up with the Lee family, and a few others. Instead, I  made a mess of everything.

I quickly splashed my face with water and threw my hair in a ponytail. I twisted my shirt around, and focused on not crying. When I was done, I looked somewhat presentable. Still a little off, but presentable nonetheless.

Leaving the bathroom, I headed back towards where everyone would be. I made sure to leave a wide berth between me and Donghae's room, at least an arm's length away. I didn't want another 'incident'.

"Yoona! There you are." A voice called from behind me. I tensed, knowing it was Kibum. It was going to be extremely difficult to act normal around him now. You've done it before, you can do it again, I reminded myself. Taking a deep breath, I turned to face my boyfriend, smiling.

"No, there you are! Goodness Kibum, I've been looking for you everywhere. Where were you?!" I said, walking up to him and putting my hands on his chest. He circled his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, smiling.

"Well, I was looking for you." He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss. I smiled, but it didn't quite reach my eyes. "And now I found you." He stated. He pressed his lips firmly against mine, just as I heard a door opening. We both turned to see Donghae frozen in the act of leaving his room. His face was blank, but his eyes, which were looking directly at me, looked hurt and angry. It had probably been a stupid idea to kiss Kibum right here. But then again, he was my boyfriend! I should feel worse about kissing Donghae. Oh god! I'm such an awful person.

"Sorry." Donghae muttered before shoving past us towards the backyard. Oh great, I internally groaned. I've ruined everything!

With that thought, I looked sheepishly at Kibum, who also looked slightly flushed. We weren't ones for PDA (Public Display of Affection). I grabbed his hand, and headed in the same direction as Donghae, hoping that the barbecue would clear my mind and bring everything back to normal. Not likely.

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