Do not for a moment think that she needed you. She needed someone and you happened to be there. It was circumstantial.

How foolish were you? You swore never again to let the flame burn. But it flickered and lit up.

----

I steal brief glances as you leave along with them. Wasn’t it just two nights ago when I lent you my ear? When I disregarded the consequences of staying with you without my parents’ knowledge? When I went along with your wishes because I knew you had to let out?

Now I look at you and I don’t see any glimmer of gratitude or even acknowledgment. It was as if it never happened. You may not look like your old boisterous self, but you certainly looked okay. It was barely two days ago when you had me listen to your long tirade about them; a senseless and irksome tirade that contained nothing but negativity and incising statements.

I certainly feel like an imbecile right now. How ludicrous might it have been? To think that I even felt a sense of pride that you confided in me. Who was I to think that you needed me? Who was I to you? You certainly had many friends. There were a lot who were at your beck and call and a lot more who you’d enjoy the company of.

Mocking laughter rings in my ears as I sit and watch you set me aside. How could you do that to me so easily? How could you play with people’s feelings without a single qualm?

Your jovial laughter and raucous chatter strikes at me like a sharp knife. I am wounded.

To think that there was actually a wee tiny bit of me that relished in the fact that your relations with your closest friends were strained. I admit I was selfish. But then again I was blind. I saw it as an opportunity. I promised not to let you rattle me, but you always had a tight grasp on me. I stayed so that you could pour out all your woes and I deceived myself into thinking I was the only one you could lean on. I fooled myself that I was much more important than what you took me for.

I close my eyes in frustration as I attempt in vain to push you aside-if not in the literal sense, even just out my brain. I bite my lip as I try my utmost to stop a tear that was traveling down my cheek.

“God damn it Jessica! Why must you be that way?” I bang my fist onto the table as I concede to my fate. I may hate you now, but I’ll come running back the moment you call.

----

We mourn over things out of our control, but we are more grief-stricken over those that can be manipulated.

In times of need, you seek me, at any other time, you fail to see.

----

A/N:

Not much but I hope you make do.

I guess you'll be hoping that people hurt me more. Often it is only when I'm sad that I'm able to write.

Bear with me. I've got a lot of academic load and tons of pressure.