“Sweet Lollipop, oh lollipop oh lollipop oh, you’re my lollipop, oh lollipop oh lollipop oh, sweet lollipop, oh lollipop oh lollipop oh, you’re my lollipop, oh lollipop oh lolli~”

            -f(x) ft. SHINee (Lollipop)

[Taoris on crack. Or maybe just Tao.]

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“What… are you doing…”

It wasn’t every day Kris walked into his kitchen to find the air heavy with flour and Tao in a flowery pink apron hard at work making goodness knows what.

“Kris~!” Tao sang, stopping his work and running to give him a floury hug. “I’m making something for you!”

Kris spluttered. “B-But-what?! Since when do you cook? Since when do you wear pink aprons? Where did we even get that pink apron anyway?!”

“Lay-ge went out and bought a whole bunch of stuff and this apron was in the bags!” Tao said happily.

“T-The kitchen…” Kris whimpered. Tao turned around and scratched his head meekly.

“Uh, yeah, I’ll clean that up when I’m done…”

Everything was covered in flour from top to bottom, ingredients were strewn out all over the counter and table and chairs and Kris did a double-take at how high the sink was piled with dishes when he knew he had just done them half an hour ago.

“Does Lay know what you’ve done with the place?” The EXO-M werewolf, the self-dubbed chef of the pack, absolutely hated it when his kitchen was in any condition other than squeaky clean.

Tao looked down and shuffled his feet.

“Um… not really, but he doesn’t have to…”

Kris heaved a sigh and held up both his hands. “Alright… I don’t even wanna know what happened in there, just make sure it’s clean by the time Lay gets home.” He made to leave for his room.

“Wait, Kris!” Tao grabbed his arm and pulled him to the counter. “Taste one!”

The werewolf looked down at… a blob of… oh goodness could this even be classified as food.

“This is… very… creative, Tao. W-What exactly is… this.”

It… looked like a dumpling. But judging from the blue juices and orange slices and red liquid that looked like blood oozing out of the haphazardly wrapped dumpling, Kris ventured to guess that it was some strange concoction of … actually never mind he didn’t want to guess.

“You know how dogs are given doggy treats when they’re good?” Tao began. “I wanted to make werewolf treats!”

“What the actual fresh fu-”

“That way you can feed me when I’m good~”

“Wait, you actually want to eat this?”

“Yup!”

“Have you tried it before?”

“Nope! I want you to be the first person to try it, because it was specially made for you~”

Tao grabbed one of the dumplings on the counter. “Say ahh~”

Kris later berated himself for not finding a nonverbal means of protest.

He had opened his mouth to say no thank you and Tao had popped it in. Shamelessly.

The poor Alpha was then forced to chew on the abomination this pup called food.

Kris felt tears coming to his eyes as he tried his hardest not to spit it back out in fear of hurting Tao’s feelings.

What could he possibly have done to deserve this punishment…

“Is it good?” Tao asked, watching the leader hopefully. Kris tried to smile, hoping that it didn’t come out as a grimace.

“YOU LIKE IT!” Tao laughed in relief.

Kris fervently prayed that he wouldn’t hurl and swallowed the dumpling.

“Tao… what did you put in that?” he coughed out as soon as he got his voice back.

“Eh? Well, I thought we should make healthy snacks this time around. I started out with a dumpling wrap. Then I put raw meat in there, cuz what werewolf doesn’t love raw meat?

But then I figured if we eat just meat all the time it wouldn’t be healthy for our diets, so I added blueberries for fiber. The carrots I just found in the refrigerator but it’s a vegetable so it can’t hurt. And lastly I threw in some wasabi for that spicy flavor and wrapped it all up.”

“I-It’s…”

“But something’s missing…” Tao frowned. “It doesn’t feel… like anything other than a dumpling.” He made his way over to the pantry and began rummaging through it.

Kris took this chance to pour himself a glass of water and chug it down to get rid of the flavor.

Tao opened a box of Pocky, pulled a breadstick out and stuck it into one of the dumplings.

“There,” he said, satisfied. “Now it’s a werewolf lollipop! Here ya go~”

And before Kris could even protest Tao had shoved a second dumpling into his mouth, stick and all.

And this time he really did cry.

“Do you not like it?” Tao stammered, hurriedly wiping away the tears. Kris staggered over the trashcan and shamelessly spit it all out, coughing and trying really hard not to vomit out the one that was currently sitting in his stomach.

“T-Tao…”

“Oh no, you hate it…” Tao mumbled, looking very much like a kicked puppy.

Kris had to down a second glass of water before he managed to speak.

“I’m sure… that your werewolf lollipops have some sort of nutritional value and that you meant well… but…”

He whirled around and shoved Tao up against the wall. “You need to be punished for this.”

Tao’s eyes widened dramatically. “P-Punished?”

Kris smirked at him. “I have a very nasty flavor in my mouth right now, Tao, and I think you can give me something to help it go away.”

His hand teasingly trailed down Tao’s abdomen and rested on…

“Ah…” Tao’s lips curled up into a grin as he caught where Kris was going with this.

“Oh, just so you know… I don’t like to be kept waiting,” Kris growled, and dived in for the first kiss.

The kitchen ended up getting decorated with more than just flour that afternoon.

And Lay made sure the two of them cleaned it until it was spotless.  

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Because this series needed some Tao cuteness. In the form of a 3 AM crackfic.

I'm sure the EXO-M maknae is a great cook in real life :)