Even though I’m young, the pain is the same.

Just because I don’t know the world very well.

Doesn’t mean that I don’t know pain.

(2AM – Even If I die, I Can’t Let You Go)

 

It was as if the world had stopped for a moment. The clock stopped ticking. And those memories came, rushed out of his mind. Sandy…

Maybe the poor girl in front of her wasn’t Sandy whom he knew, but even Jiyong didn’t have the slightest idea of why he felt that it was Sandy, there, stood before him, crying and grimacing over her bleeding arm. Sudden contented feelings filled up his mind, jumbled with hatred.

“Perhaps I shouldn’t have helped you…” Jiyong said and left Dara.

And Dara, who had lost plenty amount of blood, fainted.

---

 

Jiyong along with four friends of his were at the school canteen, they sat in the table that was meant only for Big Bang. Yes, they called themselves Big Bang. Jiyong was not sure where that name came from, but as far as he remembered Seungri had something to do with it. It all started because they had been known for making a lot of troubles at school. Their latest mischief was a jerking-off contest that they held while they were in History class, and unfortunately, they got caught. But as stupid as it sounded, that was them, Big Bang.

Every single pair of eyes was on them as they started laughing. Not to mention, Seunghyun’s laugh. He might look all masculine and cold, but you sure didn’t want to let him laugh out loud. His deep and bass-type of voice might startle the whole room. The four of them were laughing at the moronic contest that just made them famous. Except Jiyong, he only gave his flat smile at them.

“Yah, hyung! You should just join us next time!” Seungri slapped Jiyong’s shoulder and snapped the latter out of his reverie.

Jiyong only laughed half-heartedly, “If I join your stupid game, I will surely win every of it. You guys will all be surprised at how mighty this Jiyong’s junior is.”

They started woo-ing at him, and you could say that Seunghyun’s voice was the scariest.

“Ah, by the way, have you heard all those sayings about Dara? Did she really attempt to kill herself?” Daesung asked, diverted them from their previous convo.

Jiyong was taken aback a little when he heard it.

“Ah, that new girl?” asked Youngbae.

“Yeah. People said she was found unconscious in the rest room with her arm full of blood… And you know what?”

Daesung stopped, tried to make the rest of them curious with what he was going to say next.

“She tried to commit suicide in boy rest room!! Isn’t it crazy?!”

“What’s so crazy about it?” asked Jiyong.

“Well, just try to think about it, she tried to kill herself in boy rest room, she must have her own reason. She certainly intended to haunt the guys who often…… y’all know what I mean.”

Jiyong laughed out loud, “Hahahahahahahaha… you’re the one who’s crazy! It’s so impossible for a girl like her to even think about that as her reason.”

Seunghyun started to laugh along and once again startled everyone in the canteen. “That’s why you shouldn’t too much, better save those !”

“Hahaha… but, it makes sense though, it’s just impossible for someone to commit suicide without any certain reason. She must have a reason.” Youngbae agreed with Daesung.

Right. Sandy… but she was hit by a car, not suicide. However, there must be something behind this entire thing. But, what?

Sandy started to roam inside Jiyong’s mind again.

Sandy, why does it have to be this painful? It hurts remembering you, it hurts so much.

***

It came on to rain. The raindrops poured down the earth and let themselves hit Jiyong’s car windshield. He drove his car to his apartment. He hated rain, it reminded him of that accident, Sandy’s death. She was hit by a random bastard, and then after that the rain started pouring, soaking her body as if mocking her.

Jiyong smacked the wheel he was holding, upset with his own thoughts. The memory came to him every time it was raining. All of a sudden, Jiyong hit the brake. A girl stood in front of his car. She was pale and drenched in rain.

“YOU CRAZY!” Jiyong dashed out of his car. “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? AFTER TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF AT SCHOOL NOW YOU WANT TO GET YOURSELF HIT BY A CAR?!”

Dara was all silent, she was soaked by the rain and her tears.

Jiyong pulled Dara’s wrist and dragged her to his car, “Get in. I don’t want you to die right now.”

She stared at him then nodded. She got in Jiyong’s car.

Jiyong also made his way into the car and then drove off.

---

 

They arrived in front of a house with a fairly big gate and the house couldn’t be seen from outside. A moment later, the gate was opened. A minimalist kind of house which was dominated by glass walls came into view, it was Dara’s house.

Jiyong wasn’t surprised to see her huge house, because he knew that his father’s house was way bigger than this. His stepfather, Yang Hyunsuk, one of the great businessmen. A man whom Jiyong hated for he never once be a figure of a father who was always there next to his son whenever he needed it. And those bitter memories made him left his stepfather’s house.

Jiyong parked his car in front of Dara’s garage. Dara got out of the car and was welcomed by an umbrella that was held by her servant.

They walked and went into Dara’s empty house, there was only her and her maid. Jiyong then sat in a sofa with a towel hanging around his shoulders. He waited for Dara who went to change her drenched clothes in her room. Shortly afterwards, Dara went out of her room wearing an oversized tee and legging with her hair tied into a bun. She looked lovely.

The sound of the rain was clear as it turned into heavy rain, breaking the silence. None of them spoke a word. Jiyong leaned his back on the sofa with his arms folded across his chest. Dara sat still across him, hugging her knees and leaned her cheek on them as she stared at the pouring rain.

“Are you here alone?” Jiyong tried to open a conversation, which wasn’t his habit.

She nodded slightly, still keeping shut.

The awkward silence enveloped them once again. He hated that he must be in this situation right now, and he didn’t know why he wanted to get to know more about her.

“Still going to try to kill yourself?”

Dara was surprised at the question and stared at Jiyong with a slight fear. She gave him a weak nod.

“Why?”

“…”

“…”

Dara didn’t open even a slight. She looked scared. As if she was afraid that she had done something wrong to Jiyong.

“Why?” He repeated.

She remained silent. Trembled and scared.

Jiyong sighed. He leaned his head and stared at the ceiling.

“Listen. I’ve ever been in your position, probably worse than this. I was betrayed by many people. My friends, my stepfather, my family, everyone that was around me betrayed me. Even my best friend, her name’s Sandy, she left me here alone. She died.”

Dara who was staring down at nothing lifted her head and looked at Jiyong. Feeling sorry.

“She’s dead, smoe irresponsible jerk hit her and then he just ran away. The thing that I still don’t understand is she suddenly hated me, without any reason. And since then, I can’t put my trust in anyone. I know people around me will leave me someday, just like before. And you need to know this, I tried to kill myself numerous times, got in and out of hospitals, but in the end I’m still breathing. I got tired of those things and I’ve made up my mind that I have to continue my life. I’ve got to prove to everyone that I’m not weak and I can live even after being betrayed by everyone.”

Jiyong finished his talking and found Dara stared at him in disbelief.

“Well, that’s my story. What’s yours?”

Dara diverted her gaze from Jiyong. She hugged her knees tighter.

“Well, I… I’m Sandara. Perhaps you already knew it. I live here alone with my servant. My brother works in other city while I’m here continuing my school. My parents died, two years ago.”

Dara stopped for a while and took a deep breath.

“You probably think I’m crazy for trying to commit suicide. But as long as the rain is still pouring, I will keep on trying. I hate rain. It’s… cold.”

She couldn’t hold back her tears anymore and she cried. Jiyong didn’t say anything and stare at her crying state.

“No one ever understands me. I’m suffering from the coldness of troubles that keep coming over and over again. I’m tired of everything…”

Then she broke down, sobbing. Jiyong remained silent and only look at her bawling her eyes out. The room was filled with silence, except for Dara’s sobbing and the heavy rain that kept on pouring down.

A sudden telephone ring broke the silence. Dara wiped her tears away and walked towards the sound of the phone. Jiyong sat still and remained his gaze upon Dara who was walking to pick the phone.

“Hello…” Dara answered the phone and tried her best not to sound like she was crying.

“Dara…” A girl’s voice replied her from the other line and that girl was crying.

“B-Bom…?” Dara was taken aback hearing the crying sound from the girl, her cousin.

“I’m tired... I’m sorry…”

“…”

“Dara…”

Click. Dara hang up the phone. She fell down, hugging her knees once again and cried. Bawling and wailing. Jiyong who had been sitting quietly, walked towards Dara who looked so fragile. He hugged her. And for the very first time Jiyong felt so safe and peaceful, so did Dara. Jiyong hugged Dara tighter and kissed her forehead. They both felt more safe, calm and secure as every second passed by. Until there was no more wall that separated them.

 

---

 

notes:

I'm sorry for late update, bit busy with exam thingy. Please kindly gimme some comments about this fanfic.

And this isn't a horror fanfic anyway. Its dark, but not horror :)

Thank kiss :*