The days and the nights blurred together.  The gunfire and explosions sounded more constant.  It kept me awake sometimes at night.  I noticed insomnia became a contagious thing.  People would play cards by the moonlight or sit up, whispering conversations to each other.  Lisa and I talked about our students and how we missed working.  She missed home so much.  It was painful to see her so homesick.

                I kept seeing the baby faced soldier and his friends.  He was always around.  He seemed kind, but I wondered how could he always be here?  Most of the other soldiers seemed to be on a rotation.  I’d see them and then I wouldn’t and then they’d be back.  But him.  He was just always here.  He wouldn’t disappear for as long as the others. 

                Lisa got plenty of incoming calls from home like most others.  One day, she got one from her dad and then a few hours later, a soldier came in looking for her.

                “Lisa Danielson?” the soldier asked, standing at attention in front of her cot.  She sat up, stopping mid-sentence in her conversation with me.

                “Yes?”

                “You need to come with me.  They’ve set up transportation for you to go to the Air Force base to be relocated to Japan where you will take a flight from Tokyo back home.  Please, gather your things together.”

                “Yes!” she cried out.  She looked at me, blue eyes wide with excitement.  “Remember that guy in Washington that my dad knows?  He totally came through!”  I smiled and nodded, happy for her.  She jumped off her cot and looked back at the soldier.  “Did he say anything about my friend Nikki?  Nicola Belton?  I asked him to…”  The soldier looked from me and back to her with an apologetic gaze.  “No.  There must be some mistake.  Nicola Belton.”

                “Li, it’s cool.  Just go.  That plane’s not going to wait for you,” I laughed softly.

                She shook her head and kept her eyes on the soldier.  “No.  Go back and talk to whoever you have to talk to.  Please.  I asked him!  He said he would try.”

                The soldier looked sympathetic.  “I’m sorry, Miss Danielson.  It was probably all anyone could do to get you on this flight right now.”

                “Well, then tell them-”  I knew where she was going.

                “Lisa,” I cut her off.  “Just go.  Honest.  Everything is going to be ok.  Look at these soldiers I’ve got keeping their eye on me.  Come on now.”  I scoffed and waved a hand in front of my face.  “Go, girlie.  Go home.  They’re waiting for you.”

                “Nikki…”

                I smiled.  “Just go.  It’s ok.  But I want you to email me when you get home and then, like, every day after that until all this blows over and I can start emailing you back.”

                Tears filled her eyes.  We’d only known each other a few months, but working together every day made us fast, close friends.  She came over and hugged me.

                “I’m sorry, Miss…” the soldier began gently.

                “No, I know.  I’m sorry.  I’m coming,” she said, shoving things into her suitcase and zipping it up hastily.  “Here,” she said to me, pulling an earring out of her ear.  It was a little silver rose hoop.  “Let’s trade earrings.”

                I laughed and pulled out one of my gold dolphin hoops.  “Ok.”

                She hugged me again after putting in my gold hoop.  I felt tears form in my own eyes as I let go of my friend.  I put in her rose hoop earring.  It must have looked ridiculous.  I waved as she let the soldier lead her out of the area.

                I laid in my cot for some amount of time.  Day turned into night, night turned into day or maybe it just went from lunch time to dinner time, I didn’t know when it was.  I hoped Lisa had arrived home safely.  The flight must have been long.  She was from Louisville, Kentucky.

                Half a world away from here.

                I wondered what the Canadian government was doing with its citizens here in Seoul.  I wondered where Heather was taken.  Was she back home by now?  Or was she stuck in a classroom in a different school somewhere else in Korea?

                Explosions sounded.  I still couldn’t tell which direction they were coming from.

                I felt the tears build up again.  I sat up and looked around.  The classroom where my cot was located was half filled with tired looking people and a bunch of soldiers.  I couldn’t cry in front of them.  I jumped up, grabbing my stuffed panda and ran from the room.  I ran up the stairs to the fourth floor.  Some classrooms were already full up there by now.  I ran down the hall until I came to a darkened portion of the hallway.  I threw the door of one classroom open.  Soldiers were in there talking.  I shut the door and ran farther.  Another classroom.

                This one was dark.  I slipped in and sat in the corner where I could cry alone in the blackness.  I hid from the moonlight.  And I sobbed.  I pressed my face into the soft fabric of my poor, old, raggedy panda.  Suddenly, I felt a presence next to me and something touched my arm.  I gasped and shot forward away from whatever was touching me.  I squinted in the dark.

                It was that baby faced soldier.  He had magically appeared next to me.  His arm had brushed mine.  How loud was I crying that I couldn’t even hear him come into the classroom?

                “I’m sorry,” he said in quiet English.  “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

                “It’s ok,” I said, voice cracking.  I wasn’t finished crying yet.  I covered my mouth.

                “I saw you running.  You didn’t look like you were ok.  I-I just wanted to check on you,” he explained softly.

                “I’m ok,” I choked out.  I saw from the thin beam of light from the moon that he smiled a little.  “Thank you…for checking on me,” I added.

                “You don’t look ok,” he whispered after a moment.

                I shook my head.  “I’m not ok,” I sobbed into my hand.

                “It’s ok if you’re scared or homesick or missing your friend.  I saw the girl you were always with leaving.  It’s ok if you’re upset or…well, whatever it is you’re feeling.”

                I shook my head again.  “I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

                “That’s ok, too.”

                “I don’t normally cry.  Ever.”

                “You shouldn’t hold it in.  It’s dark here.  It’s a good place to cry,” he said looking around at the empty classroom.  The desks had been pushed against the walls and toward the front of the room.  “You know, you shouldn’t hang your head like how you were before.  It’s not good for your neck.  You should keep your neck straight.”

                I laughed once, humorlessly.  “Oh?  Ok, thanks.  I’ll be sure to do that,” I said sniffling.

                “I know a good place to cry, too,” he continued.

                “And where’s that?”

                He sat up straight, pressing his back to the wall and patted his shoulder.  “Right here.  It’s soft.  I smell good too.  Look, I won’t even look at you,” he offered, turning his face away from the shoulder he’d patted and closed his eyes.  I managed to clench my teeth temporarily stopping the tears from falling down my face.  I sniffled again.  “Come on, try it.  It’s good.  I swear.”  He kept his face turned away and his eyes closed.

                There was something about him.  Maybe it was his face.  Maybe it was his voice.  His tone.  It was comforting.  Maybe it was because at that very moment, I had no one else in the entire world.

                I slid back next to him on my knees, positioning myself close to his side.  He patted his shoulder again, still not looking at me.  He stretched his arm out, creating a nook for me to curl up against his body.  I lay my head awkwardly on his shoulder.  He inched closer and readjusted himself so that my head was tucked against his neck.

                The tears began to flow again, silently.  I accidentally let a sob escape.

                “It’s ok,” he whispered.  “Cry as long as you need to.  I’m sure you’ll feel better after.”  I felt his stretched out arm coil around my shoulders.  He was right.  He did smell good.  Fully comforted, I cried harder and longer than I’d ever cried in my whole life.  Before this, I’d never cried myself to sleep.

                I woke up before I opened my eyes.  My entire body felt achy and cramped up.  My head slid off something and jolted me fully awake.  I sat up.  My spine cracked.  “Ahh…” I groaned painfully.  Blinking, I remembered where I was. 

               And who was still next to me.