I forced my eyes open.  Sleep blurred my vision, but I could tell it was Seung Ri.  I let out a contented sigh and rubbed my cheek against his arm.  “I’m not drooling,” I argued.  I inhaled deep and let my eyes fall back shut.  Mixed in with the gross smells of a hospital, I could still smell his scent.  “I like these dreams,” I sighed, my lips brushing his arm.

                “I knew you dreamt about me,” he said in a hushed tone laced with laughter, his fingers catching strands of my hair.  “I hope I feel better in your dreams.”  He groaned.  “I hope you make me look better, too.  I can only imagine how terrible I look right now.”

                I frowned and opened my eyes again and lifted my head.  When I dreamt of him, we were never in this hospital.  He was always in uniform, but now he was lying down.  Wearing hospital pajamas.  “Seung Ri…”

                “How long have I been here?” he wondered.

                “Seung Ri!” I gasped, hopping out of my seat.  “You’re awake!  Am I still dreaming?”

                He smiled and stretched his arms above his head.  “Would you like me to pinch you?”

                I touched his face.  Running my fingers over his eyes, nose, cheeks.  He laughed and caught one hand in his.  He blinked drowsily and pressed his lips to my fingertips sending sparks through my whole arm.

                “It’s been weeks.  You’ve been in this weird comatose sleep for weeks,” I explained, voice cracking.  “What’s the last thing you remember?”

                He closed his eyes and laid his head back.  Still holding my hand, he used his free hand to cover his eyes for a second.  “We finally got to the hospital.  It took so long.  The Americans, they…wait, no…you needed blood,” he murmured.  “They told me you needed blood.  You were so pale.  Back at the school, after the explosion, I held you.”  His breathing quickened.  “I held you in my arms.  Your blood…you bled so much.  You were so cold.”

                “They said I lost something like a third of my blood,” I whispered back.

                “We’re incompatible,” he said, touching his dog tags fondly.  A smirk turning one corner of his mouth up.  “We’re both O positive.”  But then he paused, looking thoughtful.  “Are we still in the hospital?”  He frowned and looked at me. 

                I nodded.  “Yes.”

                “You…you’re ok now, aren’t you?” he asked, tilting his head to the side to eye me carefully.  “You look beautiful.”

                I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t stop the smile from forming.  “You’re so stupid.  How could you let this happen?”

                He arched an eyebrow at me and tugged on my hand until my whole body jerked forward.  Until we were almost nose to nose.  Man, he was strong considering his present circumstances.

                “Let what happen?” he pressed.

                “Why would you put your body under such a harsh strain for some stupid girl you barely know?”  I let my head fall to his mattress face first so he couldn’t see the tears.

                I felt him moving around.  I heard him groan painfully.  His muscles must be stiff and sore.  He pushed hair behind my ear.  I felt his breath against my ear for a second before I heard him whisper, “I’ve stopped trying to figure out why I’m stupid enough to fall in love with a stupid girl so quickly.  Just go with it.”  He pressed his lips to a spot below my ear on my jaw.  “I am.”  My breath caught in my throat.  I lifted my face to look at him.

                “So you do think I’m a stupid girl,” I teased, even though my heart was pounding mercilessly in my chest.

                He kissed me again, playfully tugging on my bottom lip with his teeth.  When he pulled away, he pouted.  “How long have I been out?”

                “Weeks,” I answered quietly.

                “My body hurts…”  He nuzzled his nose against mine.  “Can’t you do that magic massage on me again like you did when we first met?”

                The look in his eyes made me blush.  He chuckled softly before kissing me yet again.

                “Dude!  He barely woke up and he’s already getting some action!”

                I shot backwards, almost falling out of my chair.  Regaining my balance, I shot my best glare at Ji Yong.  The four friends now gathered around Seung Ri’s bed.

                “Hey,” Seung Ri gushed looking to his friends.  “You guys are here.”

                “Of course we’re here,” Seung Hyun replied.  “We always stick together.”

                “Seung Ri!” Dae Sung cried out in a high pitched, squeaky voice.  He reached over and pinched Seung Ri’s cheeks.  “You’re back!”

                After the laughter died down, Young Bae patted Seung Ri’s arm.  “I’ll go get a doctor to take a look at you.”

                The doctor gave Seung Ri a good report, but added that he should stay a few days for observation.  These doctors sure like to observe, I thought miserably.

               Seung Ri’s parents came in soon after to see him.  The guys and I gave them some family time to catch up.  It’d been so long since the three of them were together.  When his parents grew tired and went to get some sleep in the visitors’ room, the six of us stayed up for a couple more hours, chatting.  Getting closer, I felt like.

                The next day, I was feeling good.  Seung Ri was awake.  He was eating.  There was no damage.  I had taken a shower and was feeling more alive.  My muscles felt less tense.  It was like when Seung Ri woke up, all the stress I hadn’t even realized built up, released.

                His friends were downstairs in the cafeteria with his parents eating.  I had just used the visitors’ room to finish getting dressed after my shower when I headed into Seung Ri’s room to ask him if he wanted me to sneak in some good food.  Just outside his room, I could see through the window in the door that Yeon Soo was there.

                He was propped up on pillows and they were talking.  Speaking Korean, I assumed, but it wasn’t like I could hear them through the door anyway.  He looked concerned.  Listening intently to whatever it was she was saying.  Her hand was on his shoulder.  I studied her profile and his.  A sigh escaped my lips.

                They looked good together.

                Better than I did with him.  Suddenly, all the insecurities I’d been suppressing came washing over me.  My chest hurt like I was drowning.

                What was I thinking?

                Paralyzed, I couldn’t flee when the door was pushed open and Yeon Soo came out.  She smiled casually at me. 

                “He wanted to see me,” she mentioned as she stopped in front of me.  “We had a lot to talk about actually.”

                I thought she said she was leaving after he woke up.

                “That’s understandable…” I mumbled.

                “Relationships are work, you know.”

                What was that supposed to mean?  I could feel my palms begin to sweat.

                “They are,” was all I could contribute to the conversation.  Thoughts bounced dizzily around in my head.

                “If you truly love someone, you shouldn’t give them up easily.”

                She wasn’t leaving.  “Did Seung Ri…”  Did he say he wanted you to stay?  Did he say he didn’t want me?  No, he just said…I shook my head as my vision blurred.  I touched a finger to my lips. 

                “I’m going to go meet his friends and parents for lunch,” she said, looking past me and smiling coldly.  “Are you going to join us?”  She didn’t wait for me to answer.  “Ah!  Right, you don’t speak Korean.  Perhaps it’s best if you don’t.”

                I could only stand there like the fool I finally realized I was.

                She lifted her chin and walked off in the direction behind me.

                I blinked through the tears.  With one more glance at Seung Ri’s resting form through the window in his door, I hurried back to the visitors’ room where I’d left my backpack in a guest locker.

                Stupid, stupid, stupid, I chanted in my head as I gathered my things.  I barely know this guy and here I am ready to dive into this blindly.  What was I thinking?!

                I strode out of the visitors’ room with my head down.  I’d have to go through the cafeteria to get out of the hospital.  I’m so stupid, I continued to scold myself.  Who the hell am I to break up a five year long relationship?  I’m a foreigner.  I’m a nobody to him.  I just got caught up in being alone.  He just got caught up in…well, whatever he got caught up in enough to give me his blood.

                So stupid.

                I peeked into the cafeteria before I actually went in.  It took me a moment, but I found Seung Ri’s parents and friends sitting around a table.  Seung Hyun and Young Bae weren’t there though.  My eyes scanned carefully through all the people sitting in the cafeteria.  I couldn’t find them. Where was Yeon Soo?  The last thing I wanted was her to see me fleeing the scene.

                When I was satisfied with my scan of the area, I lowered my head and booked it.

                I really must be stupid, I told myself once I’d walked a ways from the hospital.  I didn’t even know where I was.  Where was I going to go?  What was I going to do?  A few days after I’d woken up, I got in touch with the US embassy.  They said due to the previous circumstances of the country’s ‘political stability’ all Americans in Korea on a work visa are free to chose whether they want to remain here or return to the USA without retribution.

                I figured that was just a polite way to say that because the country had been ravaged by war for some time, we were allowed to go home without being red flagged for breaking the terms of their visa.

                Home.  Go home.  I sighed as I dropped down onto a bus stop bench.  If someone could please tell me where home was, I’d gladly go there.

                I swiped angrily at the traitorous tear that tried to slide down my cheek.  I was so stupid to think I could make this city my home.  With Seung Ri. 

                I hugged my bent legs to my chest and hid my face against my knees so that I could pretend I wasn’t crying. I wasn’t sure how long I sat like that, but it had started to rain at some point.  Story of my life, I thought miserably.  Always being chased by some damn black cloud.

                Vaguely, I heard footsteps hastily approaching, but I didn’t lift my head.

                “You know,” a familiar voice panted.  “If you’re not sneaking out of your room in the middle of the night, you’re running away to sit outside in the rain.  I’m getting really tired of having to come get you.”