“Yesung, if you don't stop nudging into me, I'm gonna toss you out of the window!” Heechul shrieked as the main vocal gave yet another squirm.

 

“Ddangkkomaeng can't breathe!” he squeaked and he held the turtle maknae aloft, right under Siwon's nose.

 

“Neither can I,” the taller guy croaked.

 

“Then I'll toss it out the window instead!” Heechul yelled, receiving a frantic stare in response.

 

"Wait, Yesung, I thought you brought DdangkkoMING, not DdangkkoMAENG." Wookie asked suddenly.

 

"No, this is Ddangkkoming." The eccentric singer took out the other turtle from somewhere on his clothes. "See, Ddangkkomaeng has these tiny spots, whereas Ddangkkoma-"

 

"You brought both of them?!" Sungmin asked incredulously, all the while doing his best to keep his head away from under a very bemused Siwon's armpit.

 

"No, of course not. I brought Ddangkoma too. I didn't want to, but her eyes...." Yesung sighed, shrugging.

 

“Shindong, you're crushing my fingers.”

 

“Sorry, maknae.”

 

“I feel like I'm gonna die...”

 

“STOP ZIGZAGGING, OLD-MAN-IN-FRONT!” Kangin yelled, his voice muffled by the bags in his face and the vehicle skidded to the left even more.

 

“There's something wrong with the wheel,” Leeteuk said non-convincingly as he scrutinized the tiny screen on his GPS, “turn right...” the tires squealed pitifully and slid to the left.

 

"Do you think we're out of gas? I did fill it up before we left..." Leeteuk peered at the fuel gauge.

 

“WATCH THE ROAD WHEN YOU DRIVE!!!” the van rang out with 14 anguished voices.

 

“Will you kids relax? See, we're almost at the airport!” Leeteuk sang comfortably in his spacious driver's seat, turning the wheel from left to right carelessly as though doing a cover from SNSD's 'Taxi'.

 

“I think I'm gonna throw up,” the fish groaned and the other members whipped their head around, paying serious attention.

 

“Fishy,” Sungmin said slowly, “if you throw up now...”

 

"We'll burn your stuffed toys,...." Henry groaned from below, "Room you in with Siwon and Sungmin..."  Donghae turned pale.

 

“AND you're going to end up in a purple tutu in a ditch,” Zhou Mi added in menacingly, “along with a pantyhose with green sequins and mismatched flats.”

 

“Or ,” Kyuhyun said grimly, and Siwon managed to make a 'cross' sign in midair despite the suffocating space.

 

“God save you,” he said with no more sympathy towards the fish than Heechul towards a maknae who had forgotten to use honorifics.

 

Donghae hiccuped, turning green.

 

“Are we there yet?” Sungmin inquired, climbing up from below the pile of maknaes, gasping for air.

 

“Urm, just a...”

 

“SUPER JUNIOR OPPAS...!” came the familiar yet blood-freezing scream and all 15 members nearly snapped their own necks at their abruptness at whipping their heads around, just to be faced with the replayed scene of an hour ago. The ELFs had caught up on the highway and were gaining on the coughing black van once again. The blue-clad crowd waved signs and limbs maniacally,

screaming like crazy.

 

“EUN HYUK OPPA!”

 

“Donghae! My fishy!

 

“HEECHUL! IT'S KIM HEECHUL!”

 

“Yah, how old are you?” Heechul yelled, as though they could hear him, “How dare you not use honorifics!”

 

“Yeah, and fishy's MINE!” Eun Hyuk interjected indignantly.

 

"EunHae Moment! I need to tweet this!"

 

“Will you two minions quit screaming?” Kyuhyun groaned as the van suddenly picked up speed and zigzagged its way off the highway. The left side-mirror crashed into a lamp-post and flew off, to the members' horror.

 

“Hyung, slow down!” Sungmin cried in alarm, as Donghae turned an even deeper shade of green. Leeteuk ignored the remark and sped down the road...

 

Right into a row of traffic.

 

“Nooooooo!” 15 voices echoed and Leeteuk banged his head against the wheel, frustrated.

 

They were trapped.

 

The ELFs were closing in.

 

Just then...

 

“EUN HYUK, YOU TRAITOR!” Kangin bellowed, as he stared at the blonde member scampering down the pavement straight towards an ancient station by the road. His roar startled a couple of elderly bystanders and they shook their fists towards the van. The fastest member in SJ waved back earnestly, but kept running.

 

“You don't think he's trying to cause a diversion, do you?” Kyuhyun inquired, an eyebrow raised.

 

“If only he were that loyal,” Hankyung said, a little too drily.

 

Sungmin, however, was faster to analyze the situation, and he shoved his way past the others.

 

“Quick! Follow the anchovy!” he yelled.

 

Then...

 

“Get out of my way, you fool!”

 

“Quit shoving!”

 

"Don't step on my Bible!"

 

“Pleck! Get your foot away from me!”

 

"Don't kick Ddankkoming!"

 

“I'm stuck!”

 

“YAH!”

 

Leeteuk banged his head against the wheel for the second time.

 

Bad choice.

 

The airbag inflated and he was left kissing the stinking rubber material with his back squashed against the seat like an obsessive koala.

 

Poor guy.

 

(Meanwhile...)

 

“Ramen, ramen, ramen,” Yongguk sang, waving his fingers around like a conductor as five other stomachs rumbled like thunder. The 

 

B.A.P leader was liberally spraying the air with his 'ramen cologne' with his left hand.

 

“Yah, you stink!” Him Chan yelled, waving his hands in front of his face trying to fan away the smell desperately. B.A.P were still on the

 

road, making their way to the venue, and was slowly – very slowly, leaving the hordes of BABYs behind.

 

“That's bull! And besides, it's RAMEN. If we can't eat it, we should at least smell like it,” Yongguk defended himself, spraying the air

 

a couple times more with cologne.

 

“I supposed that makes sense...?” Jong Up muttered with creased eyebrows.

 

“You guys are crazy, just plain nuts. Right, Youngjae? Jae?” Daehyun looked around for his puffy-cheeked best friend.

 

“We're dead.” Youngjae answered from the front-seat, sounding shell-shocked. “Guys, look.”

 

B.A.P looked to where Youngjae was pointing. Through the windshield, blocking the gold horizon ahead was a road block.This did not look

good, especially with all the rabid sign-waving BABYs behind them.

 

“Do you think if we drove faster we could crash through without stopping?” Manager Hwang asked with his usual impassive face,but chuckling uncertainly as he clutched the steering wheel.

 

“Yeah, maybe, if it was actually the police who made the road block,” Youngjae rolled his eyes, wagging a finger ahead at the road block.

 

“Check it out, guys, it's BABYs.”

 

Sure enough, it was as Youngjae said. The fans had taken over the entire road, and actually barricading it with plastic road dividers

 

spray painted spring-green. Some of the BABYs had even taken to lying on the road in a giant human I <3 B.A.P sign.

 

The situation did not look good.

 

As a matter of fact, it looked exceptionally ugly.

 

“Suddenly,” Yongguk murmured, his expression displaying anything but emotion, “the BABYs at the back don't seem so bad after all.”

 

“You have to admit, they are pretty organized,” Himchan commented, seemingly un-fazed.

 

“KYAAAAAAA!!!!!! B.A.P!!!!!” a scream suddenly exploded from the waving fan-girls, as they saw the van approaching. The sea of BABYs seemed to stretch beyond the horizon, and into the rising sun.

 

“YONGGUK-OPPA!!!!”

 

“DAEHYUN-OPPA!!!!”

 

“ZELO-OPPA!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

“JONGUP-OPPA!!!!!!!!!!”

 

“YOUNGJAE-OPPA!!!!”

 

The flood of screams began to rise into glass-breaking screeches as the van came closer.

 

“YAH! What about me?! Where's the Himes?!” Him Chan yelled out, outraged, winding down the window and sticking his head out.

 

“How can you forget me?!”

 

 

“Himchan, I don't think that it's a good idea to wind down the winds... LOOK OUT!” Daehyun roared and yanked his hyung back in,

 

jerking him back so hard that both of them tumbled back into the safety of the backseat. It wasn't a moment too soon either, as...

 

“HIM CHAN-OPPA!!!!” A psychotic Hime from behind had managed to catch up with the van, and was now running along side the driver's side, waving her gigantic sign madly as she tried to keep up.

 

“Watch out!” Youngjae yelped as the BABY's sign swiped into the open window, nearly whacking Zelo's head off.

 

“Aargh!”

 

Manager Hwang wasnt's so lucky. The sign had swept again right into the open window, and in the midst of her running, the BABY's sign had bashed the manager in the head, knocking him out. The van started swerving violently all over the road, nearly smashing stray BABYs like pancakes.

 

“Youngjae, take the wheel!” Yongguk ordered the dongsaeng sitting up in front.

 

“HOW?! I can't drive!” Youngjae answered back, sounding totally freaked out.

 

“Aish, move over, you idiot.” Him Chan climbed over to the front seat and quickly shifted the manager to the side of the seat, so that he could steer and drive.

 

“So, where to now?” Him Chan asked cheerfully, carefully adjusting the rear-view mirror and checking his hair out.

 

The other members gave him the evil eye from the back.

 

“The train station, I suppose?” Zelo spoke up. The rest of the members went back to staring outside the window, mesmerized by the

 

hordes of BABYs outside, ignoring Him Chan's question.

 

Himchan glared at their backs. “Fine. Just ignore me, you-” He muttered something crude under his breath. Expertly spinning the van

 

around, and skidding around the BABYs, Him Chan zoomed into a side alley.

 

“Hyung, you sure about this?” Jong Up asked worriedly from next to Zelo.

 

“Aish, dongsaeng. OF COURSE I'm sure. How hard can it be to get to the train station?” Him Chan grinned back at him. “We do have a GPS after all...” Him Chan went on, muttering and frowning in concentration at the electronic device.

 

(Three hours later and after escaping the psychotic BABYs...)

 

“What the...?! What sort of crap person designed this thing?!” Him Chan yelled in frustration and threw the GPS to the ground, where it bonked off the unconscious manager's .

 

They were lost.

 

Horribly lost.

 

And...if Yongguk was correct, they were also incredibly late for their train.

 

“There's no left turn here! Why the hell are you telling me to turn left?!??!” Him Chan continued, screaming angrily. “Damn you, you- stupid device!” Him Chan complained, finally losing his patience and threw the GPS out of the van.

 

“Maybe it's not working because you're the one operating it,” Daehyun drawled, watching Zelo manically his skateboard.

 

 

Himchan glared at him. “Ok, so maybe if you're so smart, then why didn't you control the GPS?”

 

 

Daehyun simply shrugged and went back to looking out of the window, ignoring him.

 

 

“I've been trying to tell...” Youngjae perked up for the sixth time that day but he was given a shut-the-hell-up-smartie-pants-look by Him

 

Chan for the seventh time.

 

 

“See what I mean?” he grumbled and his cheeks puffed up even more.

 

 

“What was it you've been wanting to say?” Jong Up asked considerately and Him Chan gave him an evil look. Youngjae looked around the

 

van and saw that he had everyone's attention, though reluctant. However, the explanation he made was not as excruciatingly thorough as

 

they had imagined.

 

 

“Him Chan-hyung was operating the GPS upside down.”

 

 

Horrible silence.

 

 

“Why didn't you say so?!” Him Chan finally exploded and the van skidded slightly to the right.

 

 

“You kept telling me to shut up!”

 

 

“THAT WAS IMPORTANT!”

 

 

“EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT TO ME!”

 

 

“EVER HEARD OF THE STORY 'WHEN THE BOY CALLED WOLF'?”

 

 

“YOU...”

 

“Guys, enough.” Yongguk said tiredly, rubbing his eyes. They had all been cooped up together in the car for more than five hours and counting, and their patience was starting to wear thin.

 

“Do you think Manager Hwang's dead?” Daehyun asked, changing the subject and giving the still-unconscious manager a poke on the chest. “I mean, it's been like, five hours, and he hasn't woken up yet.”

 

“Nah. If he was dead he'd stop snoring.” Youngjae said, rolling his eyes at his friend's ignorance.

 

“We are so late....” Jong Up moaned, banging his head against the window.

 

“Hey! Guys! Look, a train station!!!” Him Chan suddenly yelled, simultaneously doing a 90 degrees spin with the van and scaring the heeber-jeebies out of them.

 

“Him Chan-hyung. Just because it's a train station, doesn't mean that it's the correct station.” Zelo pointed out.

 

“Dude, I don't care. Plus, we're running low on gas, we have to stop soon, anyway.” Him Chan replied, sliding smoothly into a parking lot.

 

Just then...

 

“KYAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! B.A.P OPPAS!!!”