Hello there. Thank you so much for reading Catharsis Factor. It has been a very long and bumpy ride, has it not? Here I’m supposed to tell you about my thoughts about this fic, and who am I to disappoint you? I’m fairly content with how this turned out, I feel as if I could do more, but not without having to rip this particular draft apart and rewriting everything again.

There were a lot of characterizations that I wanted to work with, a lot of different kind of people that I wanted to write about. I think a lot of them I didn’t execute very well, Junsu, Mai, and Junho for example, are very different in my head than how I wrote them to be. Again, as I said, this is still technically a first run through of the first draft, and looking at it now, I can see so many more improvements to it, not just the plot and characterizations but also with the actual writing itself. There were a lot of minute details that should have made better sense at the end, a lot more characters that were meant to make an appearance to create a...more...complete sense of a threat, but that didn’t work out right with this particular draft.

It was a new genre for me to work with, and I think I learned a few things as I wrote this one out. Over-all, I have mixed feelings, but still, I enjoyed writing this and I hope you all enjoyed reading it. The violent theme was something I’ve always wanted to try, and now here it is.

Sadly there’s still a lot of material that didn’t make it to the final draft. The reasons for all the languages and all that research were all planned as codenames and other various elements in the universe, but my initial view for the story didn’t fit with the revised plots I had as me and my beta worked through it. Still, I hope I did not disappoint.

I swear, writing this was very tiring, and there were a lot of times I seriously wanted to scrap CF and just forget about it. It didn’t turn out exactly as I wanted it to, but I guess that’s how it is. I think I’ve learned a lot from this, especially with the way I need to view a particular plot line and how to attack it. Scene structure is one thing I now know I need to focus on, especially in the sense that when visualizing a fight scene, I shouldn’t see it as a visual matter like I would a movie, rather, I need to shift the focus from something more visual to something...not visual. Writing action scenes are complicated, but I think I have a better grasp on them now.

And so I’m just hoping that my next project will be just as...fun (?) as this one. =)

-static.dream

Final Notes on the characters:

Hell

Nichkhun:

Oh Nichkhun. Seriously, Nichkhun was meant to have a more central role in this fic. Everything was meant to revolve around him and his revenge and his reasons for wanting it so badly. It is Nichkhun’s story after all. But I don’t think I did him justice. Also, I couldn’t put as much focus on him because...Nichkhun is so hard to write in this. As much as he’s the main character, he’s too stoic, too uncaring, he doesn’t want people around him and I had a hard time putting him at the center of things. And so, author fail. At least I managed to give him some development at the very end, finally seeing eye to eye with Wooyoung and not feeling as if the whole weight of bringing Fortuna down is on his shoulders.

And as for his end, I contemplated about killing him, and have June wake up looking for him, or let Nichkhun live and have June killed instead. But I realized that would glorify Nichkhun’s existence and what he did to Fortuna. I didn’t want that. So it ended the way it did. Like this, it seems to me, that everything he had worked for would have in vain, but at the same time not really. The woman he loves is alive, but with no memories of him, and with no assurance that said memories will return and love him back as he is at present. Nothing hurts more than that. Because even though she’s still alive, would the new June love the new Nichkhun?

Rai:

Hah. I’m so sorry. My author bias is so apparent with Rai. Initially, she wasn’t meant to have as dominant or developed a role. All she was meant to do was be the other assassin in Hell. The who wants to kill Nichkhun but can’t. She would have been one gauge to Nichkhun’s abilities, the one who can defeat others except him. Then came her own conflicts, and her development.

Her end is quite fitting, too. Honestly, there’s no other way for her. Not that I can see. Even with Junho taking care of her now, there’s just nothing more for her. Somehow, now, I feel bad for killing off everyone she ever had. HAHAHA. I thought of killing Jinwoon and Chansung, too. That would have crushed her and sent her to some killing frenzy, but the two maknaes are too important plot-wise.

Jinwoon and Chansung:

Jinwoon is my favorite. He’s so nice, and bubbly, and happy. He’s the ray of light in Hell, and he’s the one who keeps everyone together. I would have written more about his past, but you all get the picture.

Chansung, too. He’s so fun here, but more in a laid back sense. He’s Jinwoon’s legs. His one true love. I particularly like that he and Jinwoon are the ones who get along the most with everybody and they know that. Even explicitly stating that should the need arise, they know even Rai and Nichkhun would defend them, that every member in Hell would look out for each other. And it’s true. Even Nichkhun would, in his own way, exact a number of ways to get back at people should anything happen to these two- even for Rai.

Junsu:

I’m not sorry for making him the buttmonkey. He’s the lazy one in the shop. He deserves it. However, I did plan to make his background a bit more angsty, a bit more heartbreaking. The kind where even he wanted to die himself. Sadly, I think I made him too attached to Hell and I didn’t execute his back story well enough, for that I’m sorry.

Schatten

Wooyoung:

Yay. What can I say about Wooyoung. I know...I cheated on the part where he and Nichkhun finally have their showdown. I’m sorry. HAHAHA. Hmm. I didn’t have a lot planned for him, except that it was going to be very easy to have find find Nichkhun given that June trusted him, and he’s been contacting the Weather Station all along.

As for that thingy with Mai. Mai reminded him of how he was like in the past, and seeing her go down that path as he did, that lit up the Wooyoung deep down inside. The idealist, the one with the wide-eyes, the one who saw things in a different light. Whether he cares about her or not is still up for development, but for sure he wouldn’t want her to go down on a negative spiral.

Also, I wanted a bit more on Wooyoung and Rai. More in the fighter to fighter sense. About how easy they would get along, much to Mai’s chagrin. And then Nichkhun/Wooyoung/Rai as a trio. I wanted to write a better three-way fight scene, or a mission with just the three of them.

Maybe a random oneshot. HAHA. (except, Rai’s dead. Hmmm.)

Mai:

Everyone seems to hate her. Why. I like her, and it isn’t just because I wrote her. I like her because she’s the moral guardian in the story...well, more or less. She’s the stark opposite of Rai and Nichkhun. She does care, and you all know she does. Being into an environment when you suddenly can’t trust anything will turn you paranoid. She represents the greater part of society that believes in a system of right and wrong. She’s a necessary character, and I like that she sticks to her own beliefs, even though everyone else is against it.

I’m only sorry I made her a lot weaker at the end. Mai is anything but weak, but she refuses to kill. Which is really admirable, what’s wrong with all of you people!

I feel as if I need to defend her from all of you! Especially from my beta who hates Mai with a passion.

Kass:

Heh. You should have seen it coming. Rai hated her from the very start, and for good reason, too. It’s the same reason Nichkhun couldn’t trust her- simply because Rai doesn’t. Sorry for not having Rai, or Mai, or anyone else kill her. HAHA Just imagine it was Wooyoung.

Hell vs Schatten:

Hell vs Schatten, literally light and dark. They represent your yin and your yang in a very warped way. In the end, they’re not separate entities, but one. A balance between both groups. If you noticed the chess pieces associated with each of them, then you’d notice some kind of patter there. Staunton is actually what you call your standard chess set, and indeed, it is a Staunton that puts the pieces together and assembles them. I would have added a Chessmaster to move them around, but I couldn’t make it work. (sigh. author fail).

What else. That’s it I think. Aha. You should have paid attention to the verses at the start and end of each chapter.

Doc stats:

Word Count: ≈ 136000
Pages ≈ 326 (googledocs, font TNR size 11)

Date Started: 1 April 2011

Date Ended: 7 November 2011 (hiatus period from July to October)