A/N: Did I, or did I not promise a fast update? And that is in fact an update within half a week. Woohoo!

Anyway, this happened in the middle of midterms (wish me luck!) because everyone was so nice even after my long absence.

So I kind of felt very VERY motivated by the comments and wrote all this. 

Special thanks to Bi, who pretty much explains to the musically-retarded me how music works and feels. 

Also, big hugs for BabyCupCakes for asking me how I am (I appreciate the interest even if it was by mistake XD ) . 

And kisses for awethomest who's been keeping me company without fail lately. Castle is right dear, you gotta believe at least a bit ;) . 

A couple practice sessions later, Kyungsoo was getting good at tennis, so good in fact, that Kai had to nag him to stop being quite so good.

“Yes, you’re doing fine. Now you need to stop doing so well.” He uncrossed his arms with infuriating ease, while Kyungsoo was trying to pick up all the one million balls they had scattered around the court.

Kai was wearing a black and white t-shirt, with a stamp reading ‘Make Me Crazy’ and he kept pulling the sleeves up, impossibly, over toned arms. It was a despicable attempt to show off, no doubt, because Kyungsoo was standing right there, in his polyester sweats and an ugly t-shirt he had since highschool, looking like someone’s poor cousin from the countryside.

“Why do I need to stop?” The singer asked breathlessly, feeling all blood going to his head as he duck to the ground for another tennis ball.

“Because you’re here to seduce Kim Junmyun. Not win Wimbledon.” Kyungsoo had the vague idea that Wimbledon was a sort of tennis tournament. Like the Olympics, only for tennis, or something, but he didn’t bother asking.

“Then shouldn’t I impress him with my tennis skills?” He reasoned.  

“No, Naïve Kyungsoo. Tennis is his thing. Let him be the best. You just need to look like you know how to play moderately well and lose cutely. Make a face when you miss the ball, pout a little and then stifle a moan. He’ll love it.” Kai was saying as he balanced a tennis ball on his black racket.

“Times like this, it makes absolute sense why Tao is your only friend and you actually have to pay him to hang out with you.” This was not an attempt at figuring out Kai.

Kyungsoo had promised himself to stop doing things like that. He took a deep breath and assured himself that this was just him making a joke, not another off-handed and very much unwanted effort to invade Kai’s personal space of bitterness and jackassery.

“Look, I’m not saying you should to do sports like this. I don’t enjoy this half-assed play, any more than you do. But, it’s not about what I like. That’s how you’ll win over Kim Junmyun.” Kai pointed a finger at him and it dawned on Kyungsoo that for some reason, the guy really enjoyed saying stuff like this.  

Before they had started working together, back at a time when the singer didn’t really know what it meant to be someone’s Little Mermaid, Kai had told him he wasn’t good enough for Kim Junmyun. And since Kyungsoo hadn’t been to stand-up parties with ice sculpture back then, he didn’t get why he was not up to their standards. That time as well, Kai had deadpanned, ‘not good enough for Kim Junmyun’s standards’. Not his. There was a difference.

And the singer would never understand how Kai had no problem being cruel and careless about every other thing, in that push-and-pull game he had established with Kyungsoo, and yet he suddenly grew a conscience about this. He just had to remind Kyungsoo that these high standards and degrading expectations, were not his own, but Kim Junmyun’s.

He felt the need to set it straight that he wasn’t one of these rich douchebags, who only cared about siren-like people and people they could beat at tennis to affirm their ego. No, apparently, Kai was a nice, upright person, with no such prejudices.

He just disliked Kyungsoo too much.

That’s why he had warned him to keep away. It was not a question of standards, only a matter of taste. Maybe, Kai bought flowers and asked other people out to the movies. But Kyungsoo, he wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole.

This was marvelous. 

“Wait, are you explaining yourself to me?” Kyungsoo thought if he didn’t take the sarcastic way out, he would have to resort to desperate measures, like hitting Kai with his racket, or starting a screaming match with the guy. Again. “I’m a soft-hearted swindler. I believe in sportsmanship, is that what you’re saying? Oh this is hilarious.”

Kai raised an eyebrow and probably didn’t find it so funny. “It looked like you wanted to hear that.”

If Kyungsoo had wanted, somewhere deep down, to hear it, he wasn’t going to admit that any time soon. Besides, he had no interest in hearing how nice and ethical Kai was to everyone but him. “So you were doing me a favor. I see. Oh, but what should I do? I don’t have any cash on me right now. And you already have my voice. Exactly how much do you charge per compliment?”   

“Yeah, you can shut up now, Mean Kyungsoo.” Kai underlined that with a quick ball which passed right over Kyungsoo’s head and out of the court.

They went on with practice, until it was two in the afternoon and the sun started making them dizzy. Kai threw Kyungsoo a towel and grabbed a bottle of water for himself.

“Come to the office tonight.” He told Kyungsoo, voice low, almost hard to make out.

“Can’t. I have work tonight.”

Kai drew in a breath, “Fine then, come now.”

It had been weeks since Kyungsoo last visited the office in Hongdae.

The obvious reason for this was that Kyungsoo had focused on practice for the upcoming tennis date.

And the reason no one (not even Tao who was naturally nosey) mentioned was that Kyungsoo hadn’t wanted to sing and Kai – well that was only a wild guess on Kyungsoo’s part, but he imagined Kai didn’t want to hear him sing either. Like a mutual cold war going on between them for the past couple of weeks.

“Okay.” But the deal was still standing, so Kyungsoo had no right to refuse anyway.

That might have been so, yet when Kai ordered him to go with him back to the office, he hadn’t expected that there would be other customers waiting there too.  

Tao was standing up, behind his desk, one hand clutching a pen that, Kyungsoo imagined, would soon be smacked on some surface, and the other moving at the speed of light on his smartphone. On the other side of the desk there was a suited man, somewhere in his mid-fifties. The man was tapping his foot on the floor and seemed more like the sort of person who collects money than the sort who borrows them and then gets threatened by Kai’s secretary to return them.

“Where the hell have you been?!” Tao was the first to notice them, so he did what he was best at, which basically was, yelling at everyone into his immediate vicinity.

“Boss, this guy here,” Tao waved a hand at the other man. “He says he was sent by…” The cat-like secretary faltered a bit, cleared his throat and continued in an undertone, “He says your, ehem, family sent him.”

Kyungsoo was standing close enough to actually sense Kai stiffen. “Dammit, I told him a million times-” The swindler glared at the suited man in his hall and then at Kyungsoo and at Tao and finally back at the guy, making a full circle of menace, before sighing deeply and complying. “Follow me to my office Mister…”

“Yoon Jaehyuk.” The middle-aged guy straightened his tie and walked behind Kai like a duckling after the mother duck.

Kyungsoo heard the door closing on their backs and turned to Tao, questions at the tip of his tongue, but that was when he remembered how he no longer cared about Kai and his business. So instead of talking he settled on one of the chairs and decidedly did not think about the swindler and his visitor.

“You’re not asking anything.” Tao became once again the person to bring up the proverbial elephant in the room. Kyungoo hated him a bit for that.

He pulled out his notebook and wrote ‘None of my business.’ then turned the page towards the secretary with a pointed look.

“I thought you’d be curious to know. Aren’t you curious?” Tao leaned over his desk to inspect Kyungsoo up close. “Don’t you want to know?” He whispered conspiratorially.

‘Well, do you want to tell me?’ Kyungsoo wrote, eyebrows rising.

Zitao did a double take, fell back on his chair with a heavy sound and seemed awfully scandalized. Someone could have asked him to sleep with them for money and the angry indignation on his face wouldn’t need to increase one bit. He looked that offended.

“What are you talking about?! I would never! For me to discuss such a thing. And with you of all people! With a plain-looking blabbermouth like you. I’d sooner sell my Gucci suits than-”

Kyungsoo sighed and scribbled quickly, ‘Then why ask me if I want to know?’

Tao closed his mouth mid-tantrum and straightened in an imperial pose, hands crossed and head angled upwards.

“I didn’t want to tell you, I just wanted you to want me to tell you.” He replied in monotone, as if this wasn’t a totally pathetic thing to say.

Kyungsoo snorted, ‘Well, I guess you out.’ He wrote in big letters, shining a smirk at the secretary while showing him the message.

“If you knew what sort of family we’re talking about, you wouldn’t be so-” Tao grimaced and put a hand over his mouth. “Forget I said anything.” He mumbled through his palm.

Which meant, either that he was born with a great lot of luck, or that he had somehow sensed the suited man’s visit was ending, because immediately after he stopped talking, the middle-aged visitor was passing in front of them with a grouchy expression and Kai was calling out “Tao, stop gossiping for a second and take that man out of here. Kyungsoo come in.”

“That was fast.” Tao muttered under his breath at the singer and then motioned him to go on in.

Kyungsoo was hesitating, like a shy idiot who was only now figuring out this was a swindler’s office. But he knew where he was getting into, this wasn’t the first time. So he inhaled deeply and closed the door behind him as he entered the room.

Kai was hunched on the leather couch, elbows resting on his knees and chin digging in his palms. He had his eyes closed and looked morose, a mix of exhaustion and something more personal - something like anger, or guilt, or the aftertaste you get when you eat a whole slice of lemon with its peel.

“You called for me.” Kyungsoo regretted saying that. These words sounded formal and rehearsed like he was someone’s butler.

“If you have any invasive questions about my previous visitor, now is not the time to ask them.” Kai said with what Kyungsoo used to think was an unguarded, youthful voice. Now it just sounded wrung out.

“I have no invasive questions for you.” The older guy slowly, moved to sit on the empty couch.

“Right. Right, of course you don’t, Cold Kyungsoo.” Kai smiled with his eyes closed and it gave Kyungsoo a good stab in the gut, felt like he was stealing glances at a stranger on the tube. Like he was enjoying a privilege he didn’t really deserve.

“What do you want?” The singer asked, trying to look everywhere but at Kai and his soft smile.

“How about you sing me a happy song?” It sounded like Kai was moving on the couch, but moments later, when Kyungsoo could no longer hold back from looking, he found Kai in the same position, only this time he was staring right back at him. 

“I don’t know a lot of happy songs.” Kyungsoo’s tone was defensive and there was no real reason for it to be that way.

“Come on, now… Sure you do. The other day I was passing by the bar you work at and this skinny, energetic friend of yours, Jongdae, was it? He was singing this cute song…” Kai bit his lower lip in thought. “It went like… something, something a beautiful butterfly and lead me, take me with you and at some point it said, don’t leave when the morning comes. Something like that.”

Kyungsoo hardly ever paid attention to the songs Jongdae performed.

That was a lie.

And he couldn’t even remember the lyrics to this song.

Also a lie.

The truth was that he knew the song very well. Jongdae had this Chinese friend, one of the many he made when he studied for a semester in Beijing, and this friend liked to write music and sometimes gave Jongdae a couple of songs to sing live at the bar. He’d even given Kyungsoo a song or two, in the past. So Kyungsoo knew this was one of Lay’s songs and he knew how the lyrics went and remembered the time he sang it on stage, a couple of months ago together with Jongdae.

The problem here was, Kyungsoo didn’t want to sing that song. Maybe it was because he felt such beautiful lyrics would be wasted on Kai. Or maybe the reason was more deep-rooted, like the fact that this song needed a fast, energetic vibe which Kyungsoo could not really make right now, staring at Kai’s sad smile. 

“This song is called ‘Don’t Go’.” In the end he couldn’t come up with a way to lie and make a face that wouldn’t give all his reasons away.

(A/N: This is the version of the song Kyungsoo tries to sing. And this is the version I suggest you listen to get the feeling of this chapter. If you just click on 'this' you'll get the links.)

“Okay, then. I want that one.” Of course Kai wanted that one. Kai instinctively pushed all of his buttons, knew without asking, the things Kyungsoo dreaded and kept asking to see them. He always made Kyungsoo check under the bed for monsters.

The singer coughed a couple of times, cleared his voice a couple of times more than it was necessary and clasped his hands together. He just had to try harder for this one. That was all. He had the skill for it, had pulled it off nicely before. All he needed to do was breathe a little deeper and keep himself in check. The notes were there, he had the notes, it was impossible to go bad.

And yet Kyungsoo was finishing the first couplet and he could hear it clearly in his voice that there was something missing. The words were flowing out, but they were hollow, they meant nothing and they felt like nothing at all. Kyungsoo had taken perfectly beautiful melodies and turned them into meaningless things, which could never move anyone, not even himself as he sang them.

He didn’t dare check Kai’s reaction. He’d probably be disappointed, probably thinking that this song was dull and tasteless, just like Kyungsoo who couldn’t get his stupid voice to sound happy.

That’s when Kyungsoo made the first mistake. He was supposed to sing the chorus, with a strong and bright tone, say ‘don’t escape my vision’ and be melodic about it. Instead he got stuck on the meanings, could not stop thinking about who he was singing those things to and how much more real and honest it could have sounded if he…

If he had the courage to take the drumming of his heart and somehow arrange it on his voice.

But that would have been a stupid plan. That would have been a terrible, disastrous plan, because it would just lay everything out there for Kai to hear and realize and… Kyungsoo didn’t even know what was there to realize anymore.

All he knew was that his heart wasn’t supposed to be beating out of his chest now. He should have been thinking of happy places and sweet memories while singing this song. Not seeing that stupid, sad smile passing before his eyes over and over again like his brain was as broken as his heart.

It made no sense that he was feeling like hell because those lyrics and that melody were beautiful and he could have sang about all that. He could have done it, without the happy memories for backup. Just by thinking of the guy sitting across from him.

And that was the deal-breaker.

The main light was off and Kyungsoo’s jacket was hanging on a chair. The table lamp was lighting the room and the singer felt overwhelmed with the realization that Kai, only Kai, could have given him enough happy places to make this song great. Kai behind the door, Kai lying on the leather couch, Kai sleeping on the couch, Kai with shadows at the corners of his face. Kai with his smooth shoulders sinking into Kyungsoo’s chest, when they hugged.

Kyungsoo felt his stomach turning and put a hand on his mouth. He was feeling sick and he missed half a couplet and he couldn’t even steady his breathing anymore. He tried to get back at the next chorus, but his voice was going to break, it did crack and then he just stopped altogether, because it was plain embarrassing.

He stopped because this much confusion and anger and panic was already enough.

The fact that he actually had to remind himself to breathe wasn’t helping either. He shouldn’t have agreed to sing this. Maybe then, he wouldn’t feel like someone was twisting his insides with a wrench, unwinding feelings that were not even supposed to be there to begin with.

Kyungsoo stood up and felt Kai do the same.

Only that was not helping, not one bit. He was panicking even worse and he knew that the more he stayed there, the more he’d have to talk to the guy and it was even possible that Kai would yell at him. Tell him how useless he was and how he needed to sing a dozen songs to make up for this one. Which Kyungsoo couldn’t do at that moment.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll make up for it, so let me off for today.” And without even waiting for a confirmation, he fled, again.

He realized there were tears on his face, only after Chanyeol ran to greet him at the bar entrance and gave him the saddest puppy eyes he could manage. 

“Wha- what happened? Are you okay? Do I have to like… fight with someone? Cause I would do that for you, I want to do that for you, but you know I absolutely at fighting.” His tall friend ranted anxiously and Kyungsoo slammed his palms on his eyes and shook his head.

“You won’t have to fight anyone.” Someone said and it took Kyungsoo a second to realize it was Kai, because he was making sure his face was not wet anymore.

“It’s you, right? I remember you! The guy with the note- Who was making that face-” Chanyeol was blabbering something and pointing accusingly (or just excitedly, Kyungsoo couldn’t be sure, with the way his friend was grimacing) at Kai, but the singer just wanted to curl up in a corner, or shout and knock a trash can off the ground, like a hormonal teenager.

“Ah… yes, that’s me. All of that, is me.” Kai was forcing a serious face and Kyungsoo hated himself a bit for recognizing this as the expression Kai made, when he was trying to not roll his eyes at someone. “So now that you know, I’m borrowing this guy here for a moment. Be right back.”

Kyungsoo hated himself a little bit more, for being unable to pry his arm away from Kai’s grasp. But the truth was that he was simply too tired to do it.

The grip on Kyungsoo’s hand loosened only when they were outside the bar, in a corner of a darker street.

Kai was looking somewhat dark himself. “What was that?” His gaze was heavy and prying on Kyungsoo’s face.

“It happens, I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo took a step back hitting a wall with the back of his shoes. “My voice just. It’s not always easy.” He was choking on words again, even though it wasn’t part of a song. “It’s not easy to sing happily. With you there.”

Kai flinched. “I meant, why did you cry?”

The shorter guy looked up, eyes big with surprise. “I don’t have to- to explain that to you.”

“You said it was because of me. Did you cry because of me?” Kai’s voice sounded demanding and angry in the way someone is angry because his lover forgot their anniversary. A hurt kind of angry.

“I just asked for a happy song, but you ended up crying. And running away, like you always do. Why? Was it so hard- Is it so difficult for you to feel happy with me there? Can’t you close your eyes and do it, like you do on stage? Or is it just because I’m not Junmyun? You won’t say those words – won’t sing love songs, unless it is to him? Is that it?”

Kyungsoo felt his face flushing at that, heartbeat picking up again. It was the other way around, really. He could feel happy only with Kai. He could probably feel very happy. Even when Kai refused to open up and let him go closer, Kyungsoo still thought of the guy and found himself intrigued and mesmerized. The problem was that Kyungsoo could be happy with Kai. He could be happy and the realization was passing with neon letters before his eyes and he was repeating it a million time is his head.

He could be happy with Kai there.

“Yes, I guess it’s like this. If it’s not Kim Junmyun, I just can’t do it. Sorry.” Kyungsoo was sensing tears welling up in his eyes again.

“I’ll go back now.” He blurted out quickly, moving away from the wall he was leaning on. “And I’m not running away, you’re intruding at my workplace. Don’t do that again, it’s a bother for me.”

His legs were on autopilot after this and he somehow made it back to the bar, before collapsing on a chair and cursing loudly in front of a startled Chanyeol.