64
Their Kingdom Panorama
Disappointment sent its waves through him.
What? Why? How?
Or had there been something all along that Victoria had never chosen to talk about, like how she never spoke to anyone about her problems? Was it something along those lines that was holding her back?
Suddenly feeling angry he tossed the phone onto his bed and watched it bounce into the air landing onto the bed again with a soft quiet thud.
That morning he watched as So Rae walked out of the black gates and walked toward her.
“Did Victoria leave yet?” he asked.
She returned him a stare, “Why would you ask for her?”
“I have something to talk to her about,” Donghae started.
“I don’t want to know your business,” So Rae replied.
Donghae opened his mouth to retort, but So Rae walked past him.
“Get in the car, we have to leave.”
Reluctant to follow orders he hesitated as he stared at the house. What if Victoria came out of the house a second after he drove off? What if Victoria had been waiting for him to explain herself further? What if, what if?
/\_____/\
The ahjumma invited Victoria in with a big hug.
“What to do?” the ahjumma smiled cheekily. “Kyuhyun’s still eating like a baby in the kitchen. Why don’t you chat with him before he leaves? The doctor arrives in the afternoon so make yourself at home.”
Victoria nodded and made her way through the hallway into the kitchen.
She paused by a large portrait of a sunflower falling into her last thoughts. To really submit herself to the fate she’d been ordained to from the very first step she’d taken into her father’s home was a heavier burden than she’d imagined. It was like crossing a mile bridge that no matter how many times one looks back, the things left behind will never be seen anymore.
Victoria didn’t see how doing all this, though, was keeping So Rae from hurt. It only seemed to piss her off more.
Oh well, Victoria decided, there were definitely some secrets buried somewhere that if she didn’t do this they’d probably be dug up. Then the ugly side of the family would haunt them all forever. For her father, her dead mother, Hee Young, and even So Rae she could at least do this much to secure their family wealth. Even if there weren’t happiness to be found, one would definitely achieve it someday.
So Rae wouldn’t be lonely forever, Victoria knew that for sure.
Putting a smile on Victoria started toward the kitchen at last and paused by the entrance to see Kyuhyun eating his meal deliciously. When he finished eating minutes later and got up, the expression on his face was totally priceless that Victoria had to laugh.
“Oh? How long have you been standing there?” he asked.
“A while now to see you sneeze into your food and still eat it.”
“I did not.” he denied.
Victoria just chuckled.
“Why are you here? And so early in the morning too.”
“I’m here for your mom.” she told.
“Ah…the doctor appointment,” Kyuhyun recalled. “My father was saying something about that.”
“Aren’t you going to be late for work?” Victoria questioned.
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll just tell my dad that it’s your fault, that you wanted to talk a while longer.”
He knocked on her forehead with his knuckles as he walked by.
“Aren’t you going to walk me out?” he asked.
Victoria followed him out the door and toward the car waiting for him outside.
“Sorry,” Victoria apologized.
He turned to her confused.
“Yesterday, I actually had lunch with Donghae,” Victoria admitted.
It was silent. Not even the noise of the blowing wind could be heard. In less than a moment she felt her head weighed down by his hand.
“It’s ok,” he comforted, “I’d want to spend time with friends as well.”
Just how nice could he be?
“Lunch today, remember. I’ll be back for you,” he told then held out his arms. “Hug?”
A helpless laugh left her and before she could go to him he came over and hugged her.
/\_____/\
Mi Sun came walking down the hall and paused when she spotted Victoria’s empty desk. Donghae watched as she browsed the room then headed toward him.
“Mind doing me a favor?” she asked.
Donghae got up.
“I need some copies to be made.” she handed him a white folder.
“That…” Donghae started.
She half shifted her head to look at him.
“Victoria, do you know where she is?” Donghae questioned.
Mi Sun smiled as if nothing were wrong, “I thought you were going to stop looking for her.”
Donghae pressed his lips together.
Mi Sun assured, “but if you’re worried about Victoria then…you should stop seeing her even if you’re just meeting up as friends.”
“Why?”
Mi Sun pressed her lips together into a fine smile, “The engagement is cancelled, but the wedding will proceed. Kyuhyun is a fine man too, he won’t hurt her.”
No matter how fine of a man Kyuhyun was, Donghae didn’t feel content with Victoria going along with something her father had spelled out for her. Victoria had always been a free soul floating around however she liked.
“I never said that.”
Mi Sun stared at him calmly, “You’re going to cause trouble for her if you keep going this way.”
“Has it really been decided that Victoria needs to marry him?”
“She doesn’t need to marry him, she’s going to do it either way,” Mi Sun corrected, “there are things in our world that are completely different from that in yours. I advise you, Lee Donghae, to leave things be.”
Mi Sun started walking pass him, but he turned around.
“I don’t get it. What world does she live in that she can’t make her own decisions? Under this sky, we’re all equal persons. We’re all the same inside out, so why are you guys trying to control her?” Donghae retorted.
“Listen,” Mi Sun turned around, “Victoria will make these decisions.”
“Then why even bother to lay out all these plans if they were bound to happen?”
“Because they’re going to happen anyway,” Mi Sun explained, “we can’t control some things. You might be frustrated, but have you asked Victoria about what she’s decided to do?”
The text from this morning appeared in his mind.
“By the way, I heard you were interested in So Rae.”
Donghae opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Mi Sun smiled and turned toward So Rae’s office. She wasn’t planning on telling So Rae, was she?
“Did Victoria tell you that?”
Mi Sun halted.
“I did,” Donghae confessed, “but not anymore. There’s this person who’s always on my mind. I like her now. No matter what you tell me, I’m going to cause trouble.”
/\_____/\
When the ahjumma decided to walk the doctor out, Victoria entered Mrs. Cho’s bedroom with a glass of water. Kyuhyun’s mom took it from her gratefully.
“I didn’t think you’d come back,” she honestly opinionated.
“Ah…sorry.” Victoria apologized.
“I didn’t mean it that way. I thought we made you uncomfortable.”
Victoria immediately shook her head, “No. No. You didn’t make me feel uncomfortable at all. Actually, you reminded me of how a mother’s like since I’ve never had one.”
The woman gestured for her to over and Victoria moved over.
“Sit,” his mother told.
Victoria sat down on the bed and the woman smiled. Her face expression stilled when she felt Kyuhyun’s mother a hand through her hair. Memories of her grandmother doing the same when she was still very young flashed back into her memory.
“It feels nice,” Victoria said. “Thank you.”
When Victoria closed the doors to her bedroom she found herself leaning against the wall next to the door. Ever since her grandmother had passed, she’d never visited her grave site. There had been news that the funeral parlor home had spread her ashes into the waters because all the money left had been given to Victoria, so there had been practically not even a single dollar was used for her funeral.
The person she should have been most grateful to was actually no where to be found. She wondered, if her grandmother was still alive would she be going through all this? Or would her grandmother have stood up for her?
Walking down the hallway she made her way toward the stairs coming to a slow stop when she saw Kyuhyun waiting for her at the bottom. He was leaning against the railing on the first step looking so suave.
Why did it feel so movie-like? Like Princess meets Prince?
As if sensing her presence he turned to see her and smiled. Just how good could Kyuhyun be? He’d never yelled at her nor had he ever scolded her. Was he really himself around her?
Returning the smile she started down the steps in the normal everyday office clothes she wore to work.
“Are you hungry?” he greeted.
“Your mother, she’s so great,” Victoria commented over her plate of food.
“Oh yea?” he seemed glad to hear the compliment.
“She’s like you…or you’re like her,” Victoria told.
Kyuhyun laughed.
“You’re very warm people,” Victoria stated, “why don’t you ever get mad at me?”
“Because you aren’t worth it,” he teased.
Victoria made a face at him.
“I’m just playing,” he said, “everything you do has a reason. There’s no point in getting angry.”
“Can’t you yell at me though? Even if I’m not in the wrong.”
He tapped her head with his hand.
“Why would you asked to get yelled at? Psycho.”
Victoria glanced outside the window.
“Can you just drop me off at a flower shop instead of back at home?”
“Why?”
“I want to go somewhere alone,” Victoria explained.
“Ok.”
Promising to call him she watched as Kyuhyun drove off before turning toward the shop. Walking in the little gate-like white doors she found herself surrounded by shelves and tables of varieties of flowers. The sight of them amazed her for a slight moment before the florist approached her.
“Is there anything in particular you’re searching for, Miss?”
“Can I get some Pansies? Purple ones? Just the tip of the flowers, please?”
It was a much longer ride than she’d expected. The taxi driver sent her off at the front of the cemetery and she found her way into the small building where jars of ashes and memorable pictures families had placed inside glass cases were stored. It felt like a maze walking around each large shelf eyeing each grave.
Finally, after a long time of searching she finally discovered the one that belonged to her grandmother’s.
For a long time Victoria just stood there gripping onto the few pansies she was holding so close to her chest. She almost couldn’t remember what her grandmother looked like. How pitiful and lonely she must have been before death. All memories of her rebellious years flashed before her eyes. She’d never been so full of regret. If turning time was possible, she’d have gone back to better herself.
“I’m sorry,” Victoria apologized. “Grandma, I’m sorry.”
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